This is witty and profound and you love it.

Oh hells yes!

2009-08-18T10:52:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Ugh...

2009-08-13T15:38:00.002-04:00

I think it says something about me that this is the least sexy thing I've seen in a long time.

*Cue Frat Boys yelling "FAAAAAG!"

*Cue me being ok with that.

PEI Part 1

2009-08-12T15:09:00.004-04:00

Welcome to a trip backwards through time! For some reason this damn site puts pictures in the reverse order that you specify. So start at the bottom if chronology matters to you.

Perfect.

2009-07-21T11:37:00.003-04:00

If anyone ever asks you "What sort of a sense of humour does Andrew Root have?" then this is your answer. This is the mind-blowingest, funniest thing I have ever seen (specifically from 2:30 in):

This whole ethos is one I can get behind

2009-07-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

An appropriate response.

2009-07-08T23:29:00.002-04:00

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:20:15 PM)
Want to hear about my crazy week next week?

Sam says: (11:20:41 PM)
yes!

Sam says: (11:20:45 PM)
tell me

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:21:31 PM)
OK, so it all goes down on Wednesday when I work from 11:30 - 7:30. Then I hop in a car and drive up to your town!

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:21:49 PM)
I sleep for a few hours, then wake up at about 6:30 and begin to help my sister move to her new house

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:22:19 PM)
At 2:30 I have to leave and drive down to Toronto to pick my dad up from the airport at 7:30.

Sam says: (11:22:27 PM)
woah this is crazy already

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:22:43 PM)
We then drive back to Ptbo and arrive somewhere in the 10 - 11 range.

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:23:09 PM)
I go to sleep, and wake up at 6:30 to drive to St. Catharines to help my brother move into his new house

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:23:43 PM)
We work until that's done at which point I drive back to Ptbo in time to work the next day at 11:30

Andrew is reading Shakespeare, sucka! says: (11:23:49 PM)
..if I don't die.

Sam says: (11:25:07 PM)
wow

Sam says: (11:25:14 PM)
may the force be with you

Andrew Root vs. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

2009-07-07T11:10:00.004-04:00

I said (to Liz) a while back that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World will likely be the best movie I've ever seen or a major major disappointment. Nevertheless, I can't help but be very very excited about this film. So much so that I've used the same word twice twice to underline my excitement in every sentence so far!

I love Edgar Wright. I've been watching "Spaced" recently, and I can't get enough of his kinetic, referential style of directing. Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz were epic movie experiences, and I really need to see them again. My one major regret this year has been to find out that I could have attended a Spaced marathon in Toronto with Edgar Wright live in person, and I only learned of its existence 2 days after it had finished. BLAST!

Either way, I am caught up on the Scott Pilgrim series of books, and they are so good. I fear that I am falling hard for yet another fictional character. Ramona V. Flowers... why can't girls like you exist in my life?

THE PLAN: The day that Scott Pilgrim debuts, host an Edgar Wright film fest.

To find out more, go here!

To Do:

2009-07-01T18:52:00.002-04:00

Plan for the rest of the day:

Drown myself in Metric.

Mmmmily Haines.

Happy New Regina Spektor Album Day Everybody!

2009-06-23T09:50:00.003-04:00

Here's your Ha-Ha moment for the day:

In criticizing Regina Spektor's new album, Far, for being essentially a caricature of Spektor's own "personality" (quotes added by the reviewer, not myself), Pitchfork.com becomes a perfect caricature of their own snarky, hipster "personality" (ok, that time it was me).

Seriously, this thing reads like a combination of the indignation from The Who's "My Generation," and the old affectation of the perpetually holier-than-thou, "Act your age, not your shoe size."

Meh, 1/2 way through reading their criticisms of it, I went out and bought it. They seem to hate all the things I love about Regina Spektor.

Happy new music day!

Roundup

2009-06-10T15:35:00.003-04:00

Of note lately:

-UP - Most depressing animated movie of the year! Also, the bloodiest Pixar movie to date. The 3-D of this movie is pretty over-rated, and mostly used to give subtle depth to scenes which feature windows in the background. While it's nice to see filmmakers embracing subtlety in their work, a 3-D animated movie about a man who ties thousands of balloons to his house and makes the thing fly to a mythical island populated by talking dogs and giant birds isn't exactly subtle. Or at least you wouldn't think it would be. But this sucker is like Eddie Izzard's idea of British films: Lots of very fine acting, but the action is sort of folded in on itself. Also, I didn't expect the film to be death-centric. A friend commented that the film is more about loss than death, and I agree, but still. Tragic. What a downer. And this from a guy who likes depressing movies! I suppose maybe it's because it didn't say anything new about death/loss, only that we all eventually meet our end, and that's depressing.

-Monsters vs Aliens - And on the opposite end of the spectrum... I had such ridiculously low expectations for this movie, and I was so so so wrong about it. I don't even care that I'm about to ruin the best part of it for those who haven't seen it. Imagine the President of the USA (voiced by Stephen "Perfect Casting" Colbert) making the long slow walk up a set of Presidential stairs to meet with a giant alien robot. When he gets to the podium, this happens:

Along with a few handfuls of hilarious other moments ("Laaaaammmmmmeeee", "I want a real kitten hanging from a real tree!") this so far has been one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. And it's in recognizable 3D!

-The Decemberists - I have been listening to the band-geek's new album pretty heavily for the last little while, even going so far as to write a long-form review of the album which will eventually be played on Trent Radio (whenever I get around to applying for a show). For now I will say the following:

Most hardcore Decemberists album yet!

Funny how if you listen to the guest star's solo work, they don't really sound like they do on this record.

A rock opera seems to be the logical conclusion of the Decemberists canon, but where do they go from here?

None of these songs make sense out of context.

- The Dark Knight on TV,

I guess it was inevitable that this movie would be shown on cable, but what an unexpected and interesting promo for it!

I also encourage you to check this one out, if only for the first 6 seconds. Man, I miss Heath Ledger.

-Music in general.

I am in full-blown saturation mode. After finally discovering the wonderful piratey world of bit-torrents, I have a lot of new music. I'm trying to give everything its proper due, but I find I'm only listening to the popular songs, or the ones that jump out. So my current playlist looks something like this:

-I'm Confused - Handsome Furs
-Won't Want for Love - The Decemberists
-Inside a Boy - My Brightest Diamond
-Elephants - Rachel Yamagata
-Dull Life - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
-Daniel - Bat for Lashes
-Satellite Skin - Modest Mouse
-Where is My Mind? - The Pixies
-Satin in a Coffin (Modest Mouse cover) - Iron Horse

A quick word on that last one. Freaky. I never thought Modest Mouse could be covered because of Isaac Brock's inimitable insanity, but wow... This conjures up a whole new level of crazy: That casual, breezy villain who secretly has a stash of bodies buried under the porch which he is currently sitting on, plucking away at a banjo. Brrrr....

-Well, that's a pretty loose ramble about some stuff I've been checking out lately. Come back later for more, I'm sure. Or come get drunk with me and the loose structure won't matter.

p.s. I cannot fucking WAIT for this:

As if Branaugh's version wasn't bad enough...

2009-06-03T11:12:00.002-04:00

From IMDb:

Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke is set to revamp William Shakespeare by giving Hamlet a modern twist.

Her Lords of Dogtown star Emile Hirsch will lead the cast of the supernatural thriller, according to EW.com.

The project began life as an idea proposed by Hirsch and Hardwicke.

Reports suggest the new Hamlet will be set in a liberal arts college, where the lead character's late father was the president.

Hardwicke gives all the credit for the new film to Into The Wild star Hirsch: "I had never thought of it at all until Emile mentioned the idea. At first, I thought it was scary and crazy, and then we read it aloud and I knew how to do it."

And Hardwicke plans to use some of Shakespeare's original dialogue in her film: "You will understand everything without having a copy of Shakespeare for Dummies with you."

Oh god no.....

I should be happy that it's making Shakespeare more accessible for tweens, but... ew. I'm a little curious as to how badly they'll butcher "To Be or Not To Be."

Green Lantern!

2009-05-25T16:40:00.000-04:00

If this were real, it would be so cool.

Delightful!

2009-05-05T23:33:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The most involved Internet Meme I might have ever done

2009-03-16T11:14:00.000-04:00

20 ALBUMS

1. Beautiful Midnight – Matthew Good Band (1998) – I remember buying this album. I had seen the video for “Hello Time Bomb” and liked what I heard (especially the bizarre guitar pedal solo) so I walked down to the local Music World and picked up “Big Shiny Tunes 4” which prominently featured the track. I got home, slipped on the headphones and found that MuchMusic, in its infinite wisdom, had decided to censor the word “shit” from one of the verses. So I marched myself back to the same Music World and exchanged it for a proper copy of the album. I have listened to the CD so many times that it probably suffered laser damage. It’s dark motifs and epic, airy musical styling sound exactly like the titular midnight. This album will forever be linked in my mind with staying out late, exploring abandoned buildings, solitude, and explosive fun with friends in places we shouldn’t have been.

Favourite song: Running for Home

Favourite Lyrics:

- Got laid by a golf course / That I never went to / Well, it’s not a real sport.
- My devil’s on sugar smacks / Down at the Radio Shack / They’re turning shit into solid gold
- I turn the light on and there’s nothing left redeeming

2. Funeral – Arcade Fire (2004) – This album opened the door to independent music for me (especially from Canadian artists). Before I heard of the Arcade Fire (and consequently Final Fantasy, Broken Social Scene, Stars, Metric, Feist, Wolf Parade, et al) my experience with Canadian music was that of Celine and Nickelback, which is enough to make anyone shudder. I have Win, Regine and the family to thank not only for opening up my country’s musical identity, but also for ushering in an era of sincere, passionate music which is as enjoyable as it is profoundly cathartic. Funeral came about at a time when I was starting to give up on the idea of an “album,” focusing instead on individual songs or samplings from across a band’s career (ie/ my White Stripes mix-tapes). It was also one of those albums that EVERYONE has and enjoys. My brother likes it. I did not see that one coming.

Favourite Song: In the Backseat

Favourite Lyrics:

- I’ve been learning to drive, my whole life
- Come on Alex / You can do it! / Come on Alex / There’s nothing to it!
- If my parents are crying / then I’ll dig a tunnel from my window to yours

3. Navy Blues – Sloan (1998) – This is either the first or the second CD I ever bought (the other one in contention being “Stunt” by the Barenaked Ladies), and consequently, because the band is made up of two guitar players, a bass player and a drummer, this is what I grew up thinking rock music sounded like. Which was lucky. I very easily could have fallen into the dreadful frat sludge and bubblegum pop that came about in the years following this album’s release. Through Sloan, I back-tracked to The Beatles, seeing a through line in music history from “the greatest band ever” to “what I was listening to” which on some level gave me the confidence to pursue slightly off-path musical choices (no one else my age was listening to Sloan). This album has been described as “pop-rock,” but I despise that title. I’d like to see Simple Plan or some other teeny-bopper pull off a guitar solo lie in “Money City Maniacs.” I missed out on the chance to see Sloan perform during this era, and I still salivate at the idea of getting to see them perform songs from this album.

Favourite Song: Money City Maniacs

Favourite Lyrics:

- I thought I was the type of guy to never put out, but I’m not.
- I’m kind of level headed too.
- What you took you can give back / But I never kept track / I guess I never thought I’d have to.

4. The Wall – Pink Floyd (1979) – To my mind, popular music has never been as theatrical as “The Trial” from this album. This is the song that I put on mix tapes which inevitably got me strange looks from the recipients. The strange paradox of this album is that the themes are so clearly about isolation and alienation and solitude, and yet most of the songs are explosive, bombastic, and very, very showy. I love listening to this album all the way through, and the songs in fact seem slightly out of place when played separately or on some kind of greatest hits compilation. This album is self-contained (almost as by some form of barrier!) and feels very complete which, to an adolescent trying to find meaning in the ever-changing and ever-confusing world, feels very important.

Favourite Song: Is There Anybody Out There?

Favourite Lyrics:

- But in the town, it was well known / When they got home at night, their fat and psychopathic wives / would thrash them within inches of their lives
- Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
- Since, my friend, you have revealed your deepest fear / I sentence you to be exposed before your peers / Tear down the wall!

5. Amnesiac – Radiohead (2001) – I was at a small, but quite rowdy party in high school when one of my most respected friends pulled out this album and said she “just had to put it on.” She then sat down by the stereo, closed her eyes and listened to the whole thing all the way through, every so often saying something like “Oh god, that trombone… man…” She brought me over to the stereo and put “Life in a Glass House” on repeat, but I was a little too distracted by the goings on of the party to really take it in. I figured there must be something to it, so I borrowed the album from her and put it on the next night to give it a proper listen. On the first go around I didn’t get too much out of it, but it kept getting played at parties and gatherings and I found it creeping into my subconscious until I was playing it over and over in my head. It took about three years before I enjoyed it on the same level as my friend, but to this day I always think “Oh god, that trombone…. man…”

Favourite Song: I Might be Wrong

Favourite Lyrics:

- I might be wrong / I could have sworn / I saw a light coming on
- Once again I’m in trouble with my only friend
- You and whose army? / You and your cronies / Come on, come on / Holy Roman Empire

6. Chutes Too Narrow – The Shins (2003) – This is one of those albums that I, and all my friends, attempted to sing along to, but we just didn’t quite have the range. “Chutes Too Narrow” quietly found its way into the subconscious of the people I was hanging out with at the time. Everyone seemed to have a copy of this album, and it was always being played in the background at get-togethers, so much so that when I would hear “Turn a Square” or “Pink Bullets” on its own, I would wonder where I knew it from, despite having heard it just the night before (that was a huge run on sentence, by the by). I got to feeling that this album knew me better than I knew it, which was strange, yet comforting on some level. I still can’t tell you what any of the songs are about, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Favourite Songs: Saint Simon

Favourite Lyrics:

- You told us of your new life there / You’ve got someone coming round.
- Mercy’s eyes are blue / When she places them in front of you
- Over the ramparts you tossed / The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers.

7. Elephant– The White Stripes (2003) – This is an album I bought expecting to only like the lead single, “Seven Nation Army.” I had seen the video, which was a rare occurrence, because this was 2003 when MuchMusic had all but abandoned videos, let alone freaky-deaky videos like “Seven Nation Army.” So I went out and bought the album, put it in my car’s CD player expecting to hear the name famous “bass” line, but due to a strange programming glitch with the player, the second song, “Black Math” came on instead. Usually I would just reach for the button and correct the mistake, but I remember thinking “Wow, this is really good. Like, really good!” I ended up listening to the rest of the album all the way through, so that when it repeated, “Seven Nation Army” was effectively the last song I heard. Elephant opened my eyes up to a new world of low-fi, do-it-yourself music which was just as good, if not much, much better than what was being put out there by bigger bands like U2. I was definitely an indie-rock fan at this point.

Favourite Songs: Seven Nation Army

Favourite Lyrics:

- Don’t want to hear about it / Every single one’s got a story to tell
- Is the problem you’re allergic to a well familiar name? / Do you have a problem with this one if the re-sults are the same?
- And I know that you feel it too / When my skin turns into glue

8. Ys – Joanna Newsom (2006) – I remember reading a glowing review of this album online which included a line about how the worst possible thing that could happen to Ys would be for the listener to approach it in the same bored, lazy manner as a high school student approaches Shakespeare. I thought “This sounds like my kind of album!” So I went out and purchased a copy (which, more than a little surprisingly, was available at Music World), and had my first involved listen in a long time. It had been a while since I read the lyrics as the music played and I had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed the experience. The only previous experience I’d had with Joanna Newsom was repeat viewings of the video for “The Sprout and the Bean,” and I was expecting something similar. It was like expecting short stories and instead getting novels. These songs are so rich and complex that they demand active listening, but once I had this on repeat for a few weeks the narratives became more and more natural and understandable. It wasn’t long after that I found myself humming the melody to “Monkey & Bear” as I waited for the bus. The album had taken up residence in my mind.

Favourite Songs: Monkey & Bear

Favourite Lyrics:

- And the little white dove / made with love, made with love / made with glue and a glove and some pliers
- So my bride / Here is my hand, where is your paw?
- When you ate I saw your eyelashes / Saw them shake like wind on rushes

9. Knives Don’t Have Your Back – Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton (2006) – I was getting more and more into Metric during this period, and just starting to expand into the Broken Social Scene-iverse, so I was seeing all these bands, singers, and musicians as part of a collective pool of talent. And then it was announced that Emily Haines would be releasing a solo album. “Neato!” thought I. “A chance to further expand the pool!” So I visited the official website where “Our Hell” was streaming. There are very few instances where on first listen/viewing/wearing I realize that I have a new favourite song/film/shirt, but this was definitely one of those moments. I visited that website constantly until the album was released, then listened that disc into the ground. Knives is the kind of elegant, self-assured melancholy that many will fail to achieve. The songwriting is incredibly personal, chronicling Haines’ difficulties with success, the passing of her father, and the life of a traveling musician, yet the album is very accessible and adds a new depth of personality to the Metric frontwoman who could have been written off as a Karen O wannabe.

Favourite Songs: Our Hell

Favourite Lyrics:

- With all the luck you’ve had / Why are your songs so sad?
- Don’t elaborate like that / You’ll frighten off the frat boys / Use your baby talk
- What’s bad? We’ll fix it / What’s wrong? We’ll make it alright

10. Live at Luther – Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds (1999) – I haven’t billed myself as a Dave Matthews fan in years, but in high school, I was all about DMB. I have seen this band in concert 5 times, head and shoulders above any other band to date. While recently, Dave and the fellas have become a bloated, lazy touring hog, back in the early days he was just an incredibly goofy guy who happened to write and play some interesting songs. Even today I will admit that the early stuff is very good, if not the stuff of legend, as many hardcore fans (including myself, eight years ago) will claim. This album is only Dave and frequent collaborator Tim Reynolds on two acoustic guitars (Tim’s heavily moded with numerous pedals), and I prefer these versions to many of the full band arrangements. This album is the reason I started playing guitar, the reason I like acoustic versions of songs, and the reason I bought the lukewarm “Live at Radio City” that Dave and Tim released in 2007. I can anticipate every guitar lick and solo as it happens (even in “Stream,” and really, who needs to do that?) but rather than becoming boring, it’s invigorating. In the early days, this music was really something special. I suppose that’s a lesson for what happens when you stop trying.

Favourite Songs: #41

Favourite Lyrics:

- I will go in this way / And I’ll find my own way out
- Reckless mind / Don’t throw away your playful beginnings
- Who’s got their claws in you, my friend?

11. Untitled #1 EP – Sigur Ros (2003) – Helllllooooo post rock! I used to listen to this EP before going to sleep, but rather than making me zonk out (as it rightfully should have done, soothing as it is), I found myself staying awake until it ended every time. I had never heard anything like this before. It was slow moving, yet catchy. It had no lyrics, yet the vocals were engaging. While technically having some sort of gobbledygook (*wink*) vocal structure to it, this EP counts as instrumental. I had never gotten into music that didn’t have identifiable lyrics before, but suddenly instrumental bands were interesting! Without this EP, I would have never found Mogwai, Do Make Say Think, Holy Fuck, et al, all bands which deserve attention. Plus this music is as emotionally affecting as anything out there, despite the fact that 99% of people who listen to it have no idea what it means. Sigur Ros have tapped into something primordial here, as close to the collective unconscious as we’ve gotten. Plus, the fourth track (waves of sinisterly slowly pulsing sound) was my theme music when I played Edmund in King Lear, so y’know… bonus.

Favourite Songs: Untitled 9 B

Favourite Lyrics:

- Yaa aa aa Yooo aa aa Yooeeeee
- ?
- ?!

12. Under the Pink – Tori Amos (1994) – In the early 2000’s I was mired in a lot of mid-nineties rock, still really into Dave Matthews Band, Sloan, Matthew Good Band, etc. I had NO female artists on my roster. Thanks to Jenny Hazelton, that changed! Tori Amos was the first female artist I listened to and felt challenged by. Her music was deep, beautiful, passionate, enraged, and a lot of fun to listen to. This album, because it was the first I listened to, made the deepest impression on me, much more than the infinitely-cited Little Earthquakes. Amos’ blatant sexuality (“Icicle” is about masturbating in a church, “Cloud on my Tongue” focuses on blowjobs) was intriguing to a young gentleman in his first year at university, and the confrontation with the subject matter really opened my mind up. I’m not 100% sure what my opinions on sex, women, religion, and personal exploration were before this album, which s shows just how influential it was. Plus, “Waitress” is about murdering an annoying coworker. Nice.

Favourite Songs: Pretty Good Year

Favourite Lyrics:

- They say you were something in those formative years
- God, sometimes you just don’t come through / Do you need a woman to look after you?
- I think it’s perfectly clear / We’re in the wrong band / Oh no

13. Weezer (The Blue Album) – Weezer (1994) – In my last year of high school, my friends and I had a scavenger hunt, and one of the items on the list was a copy of the Blue Album. Only one of us came back with an incense burner, but everyone had a copy of the Blue Album. This was the ultimate in accessibility. This was music made by nerdy kids at a time when people pulling off blistering solos like these seemed to have been handed talent by Thor or someone. Clearly Rivers Cuomo got this good by not going outside. I remember hearing “In the Garage” and recalling a time, not long before when I had converted a corner of the garage into a sort of clubhouse (there was only room for me). Whether or not I knew it, that corner of the garage was a sort of refuge from the world, and now I knew that it wasn’t just me that wanted to get away from it all. And the fact that EVERYONE had a copy of that album made me feel a lot more in touch with my peers. It feels like a great unrecognized generational thing: Everyone has this album. It’s just not a question.

Favourite Song: No One Else

Favourite Lyrics:

- Hey Brah! Oh man, I’m so glad we’re all back together again!
- Somebody’s Heinie is crowdin’ my icebox
- What’s with these homies dissin’ my girl?

14. Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? – The Unicorns (2003) – The Unicorns made me kiss traditional song structure goodbye. By the time I heard this album I was deep into Sigur Ros territory, so I was getting familiar with experimental songwriting, but even Sigur Ros songs have a fairly recognizable arc. With the Unicorns, you really had to pay attention, really enjoy riffs, choruses, verses as they came because they just wouldn’t be coming back. Many songs are completely unrecognizable from beginning to end (case in point: “Tuff Ghost”), and yet the whole album is cohesive and follows a trajectory. It makes for an intriguing listen, and I have been able to follow records much more closely since tuning my ear to this way of hearing songs and albums. Why did these guys ever break up?

Favourite Song: Tuff Ghost

Favourite Lyrics:

- I lift weights but I don’t sweat / I go for a swim, but I don’t get wet
- I don’t want to die in the ocean
- Hey, let’s get known / If we work real hard we can buy some matching clothes

15. MaryAnn Meets the Gravediggers and Other Short Stories – Regina Spektor (2005) – Regina Spektor’s vocal eccentricities make my knees weak. Previously, my only experience with someone who had as much fun with words was Tori Amos’ vowel stretching, but Regina took to a whole new level, making the vocals as important an element to the song as the instruments, melody, or lyrics. Spektor’s songwriting carries something Bohemian in every aspect, a kind of do-it-yourself mysticism, self-reliant and self-confident. Her gender-bending (in the album’s first line, she describes herself as a “son”) is intriguing and engaging, and indicative of her ability to inhabit the characters the songs revolve around. Are these people imaginary, or facets of her own personality? It’s true that this album is something of a refresher for newbie’s unfamiliar with her first three albums, but the songs coalesce so easily that it’s hard to imagine them as ever having been separate from each other. In any case, whoever selected the tracklist made incredibly informed choices, and the songs benefit from their individual positions on the roster. Overall, this album conjures up everything I like about non-traditional lifestyles; deep beauty, psychosis, verbal wizardry, and more than a fair share of joy.

Favourite Song: Oedipus

Favourite Lyrics:

- They made a statue of us / And the put it on a mountain top / Now tourists come and stare at us / Blow bubbles with their gum / Take photographs of us / Have fun
- Yes I put a boulder to my ear / but I still can’t hear / What’d’you think I was an amateur / playing with my tempra-cha-cha-cha-cha-ture
- Cause MaryAnn’s a bitch / MaryAnn’s a Bi-i-itch

16. He Poos Clouds – Final Fantasy (2006) – Owen Pallett won the first Polaris Prize, and NO ONE saw that coming. The years in between have proven that a wise choice, as the abominably titled He Poos Clouds is a constantly surprising listen; A musical onion if you will. On all levels, this album just shouldn’t work. Pallett’s voice is by his own admission, high, thin, and reedy, the music is centered around violin, and the lyrics are all (apparently) about different stages of Dungeons & Dragons. And yet, somehow it all falls into place. The songs are all completely unique, each one painting an intriguingly disturbing picture, as though they are paintings in a gallery. Every media outlet that has referred to Final Fantasy since this record’s release has deferred from calling this an “album,” instead preferring “project” or “experiment.” I think this is because the album transcends a normal listening experience, requiring participation from the listener. To this date, I’m still not sure what exactly is expected of me, but when I play this album I feel like I’m in an art installation. There is just nothing else like this out there. This is a complete anomaly. Too weird to live, too rare to die.

Favourite Song: This Lamb Sells Condos

Favourite Lyrics:

- Shields Up! Shields Up! / Bar the door and put your dukes up!
- I wanna learn from my mistakes / Before they scare me away from all the drugs
- He’s slapped up a portrait / And yes, it is his own.

17. Velvet Underground and Nico – The Velvet Underground (1967) – This album has everything. Literally. There is just nothing more an indie music fan could ask for. I remember giving this album to someone and not realizing that I was testing them at the time. When they didn’t like it, I stopped talking to them about music, because we just clearly didn’t see eye to eye on the subject. The more I listen to modern music, the more I realize how much I have to thank this album for. For that reason, it’s a little difficult to find an occasion to actually listen to it all the way through. It’s become such a part of my subconscious that I’m hearing it all the time. I don’t need to put the record on to listen to this album.

Favourite Song: Heroin

Favourite Lyrics:

- Shiny shiny / Shiny boots of leather / Whiplash girlchild in the dark
- You see her walking down the street / Look at all your friends she’s gonna meet / You’d better hit her
- I Feel just like Jesus’ son / And I guess, but I just don’t know

18. Abbey Road – The Beatles (1969) – This was the first time I ever considered the concept of an “album.” Having grown up in the mix-tape generation, everything I listened to in the car (which was the only place I listened to music) was part of some compilation or another. I just assumed that Abbey Road was a greatest hits compilation. I remember listening to this on CD (a big deal back then) in my Dad’s office. I would mostly skip back and forth between “Octopus’ Garden” and “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” because I was a kid and they were the goofiest songs available to me. Sooner or later I put it together that these songs and the rest of the album was a cohesive whole, even going so far as to hold an argument that Abbey Road was technically a “concept album” because of the recurring musical motifs. Clearly I was out of my depth, but I won the argument. Many of the Beatles songs over the years have become separated from their albums due to the over-greatest-hits-ification of the band’s catalogue, but for me, Abbey Road will always be about the big picture.

Favourite Song: Octopus’s Garden

Favourite Lyrics:

- Joan was Quizzical / Studied metaphysical science in the home
- You never give me your money / You only give me your funny paper
- Well you should see Polythene Pam / She’s so good looking but she looks like a man

19. Pink Moon – Nick Drake (1972) – My first long-term girlfriend introduced me to Nick Drake a few months before the Volkswagon commercial came out and exploded him into my generations consciousness. It was the first time I realized two things: 1) Being “in-the-know” about bands, musicians, and types of music was something that was important to me, and 2) that music is something sacred. Nick Drake’s music comes from a place so intimate and ancient that it’s still hard to reconcile the fact that he only lived to be as old as I am now. I can’t imagine delving that deeply into myself to create what he created. The reverence that I found upon listening to this album has continued to this day and still acts as a high-water mark for quality and emotional involvement in works of musical art.

Favourite Song: Pink Moon

Favourite Lyrics:

-You can take the road that takes you to the stars now / I can take the road that will get me through
- Saw it written and I saw it say
- Day once dawned and it was beautiful

20. Monty Python Sings – Monty Python (1989) – Do I really need to explain why an album that has the songs “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” “Medical Love Song,” “Henry Kissinger,” “I’ve Got Two Legs,” “The Philosopher’s Song” and “Eric the Half a Bee” is influential?

Favourite Song: How could I choose?

Favourite Lyrics:

- Is this wretched demi-bee / half asleep upon my knee / some freak from a menagerie? / No! It’s Eric the half-a-bee
- Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile
- Life’s a piece of shit / when you look at it

The real "Fantasy" was that anyone would like this...

2009-03-11T23:18:00.003-04:00

Damn it.

Metric is one of my favourite Canadian bands (which puts them high on the list of favourite bands overall), and I'm in a lot of love with Emily Haines' voice. Their live show was high energy and amazing when I saw them in 2005ish. I have everything they've ever done, so it's safe to say I'm a fan. But this is pushing it. To paraphrase a hilarious exchange from the Simpsons:

Metric: We're putting out a new album soon!

Me: That's good!

Metric: It's called "Fantasies!"

Me: That's bad.

Metric: It's going to focus on a more positive vibe while maintaining that synth-pop sound you've come to love!

Me: That's good!

Metric: You can pre-order it now if you want to!

Me: That's... okay. I'm fine.

Metric: If you pre-order it, you can have some bonus tracks including (get this) a cover of Pink Floyd's "Nobody Home!"

Me: That's good! (*pre-orders album*)

Metric: "Nobody Home" will be sung by James Shaw!

Me: ...

Metric: :)!

Me: Are you fucking kidding me?

No offense to the guy. He plays a mean guitar, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY listens to Metric to hear James Shaw sing. His falsetto in "Rock Me Now" is ridiculous and almost ruins the song. I was over the moon to hear Emily Haines sing one of my favourite Pink Floyd songs, and what happens instead? I end up with a guy singing dully over some plodding piano chords. Roger Water's performance of this song had so much feeling and passion about feeling trapped and helpless, so much atmosphere. James Shaw feels like he's rushing through the song, uncomfortably trying to finish up before anyone realizes he's nowhere near as good a singer as Roger Waters or Emily Haines. And by the way, falsetto is not the same thing as hitting a high note.

And the worst part is this: The likelihood of Emily Haines ever actually singing this song in public or recording it is nil, because now it's James Shaw's song! He might even take a step behind the mic in concert and bang this one out. If this becomes a staple of their repertoire... well, it just might be a deal-breaker. Like how I hardly ever listen to Stars any more because of their disgustingly hammy stage personas, despite how affected I was by their music on first listen. I just can't wash the bad taste of this cover out of my mouth! I literally hate this version of the song.

I'm trying to think of a humorous or reflective take to end this on, but I just can't. Nine bucks... gone.

I can only hope it'll be as good as either of these...

2009-03-06T11:15:00.003-05:00

Favourite moments:

Rorschach's a friend to the animals

Jon can give you cancer, and he'll turn into a car! (*wink!*)

Nite Owl's "Running Man"

The misguided attempt at making The Comedian and Silk Spectre a love interest (as would inevitably happen, despite its intense wrongness)

The horribly indulgent way they're all eating pizza

Really, the whole thing is solid.

And then there's this!

Well now I know how bad it COULD get...

2009-03-04T20:57:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Look! It's my friends in a commercial!

2009-02-23T18:10:00.002-05:00

Below, ye shall find a RayBans commercial. In that commercial ye shall see a man with an enormous ice cream cone on a promenade. At one point he sits on a bench next to a couple. The couple are my friends Ashley and Kyle! They are all like "Whaaa?! What's up with the giant cone, man?" But before they can get an answer, he is gone.

Yay friends! Hooray for the famousest people I know!

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

Not quite "live" coverage.

2009-02-22T19:45:00.003-05:00

Wow I get to actually watch it this year!

Aww, when will people stop asking about Mickey Rourke's dog? Poor guy's obviously choked up about it.

I kind of wanted Robert Downey Jr to beat the hell out of Ben Mulrooney.... I'm disappointed.

Wow, Anne Hathaway looks fantastic! Out of the two Best Actress nominees I've seen this year, she's my favourite.

I will murder you, Ben Mulrooney. I will murder your fake tan.

Aww, look how Marion Cotillard doesn't quite understand the questions she's being asked.

Hee hee hee, Angelina Jolie's wearing Minnie Mouse.

Kate Winslet's purty... and she seems like such a nice person!

Oh for god's sake... "Brad and Angelina." Why is it so hard to say their two separate names?

Yay! I have no idea what Hugh Jackman is going to do! Wait- twenty-eight minutes left? What the hell are they doing? Oh for.... STOP TALKING ABOUT FASHION! NO ONE CARES!

"Har de har har" moment: The Oscar pre-show ends and "Stargate: The Ark of the Covenant" begins!

I'm suspicious that the show has started and I'm mired in these damnable pre-shows.

"The lack of concern for Jerry Lewis is shocking" may be the best 'Red Carpet' comment from an entertainment show host ever.

Ok, they say the show's starting now, but I've fallen for that bef- oh... it's a Canesten commercial. Great. Now I won't be able to stop thinking about yeast infections all night.

"Frank Langella was sitting right next to me" is a great lyric that needs to be put into a real song.

Best tribute The Reader could hope for. Seriously, that's all it should get. Also, I need the lyrics to that song.

Did Michel Gondry design this opening number?

This attempt to blend seamlessly into the show seems to have bewildered everyone!

Is this love fest how they're going to do all the nominees? This show is going to take forever! I want clips!

Seriously? No examples of why the actors were nominated? Yeah, you're right. We don't need to see that.

Tina Fey and Steve Matin are a good combination!

Nuts, I was hoping the near silent film would win best screenplay

Don't they always do screenplays late in the evening? Maybe they just skipped everything else to save time!

Jennifer Aniston walked on stage. Everyone in the world just crossed their fingers for a cat fight.

"And now... all the cartoons that weren't good enough!"

That guy just thanked his pencil! Why did no one laugh until the Styx reference?

You know who's not very believable? Penelope Cruz in this Maybelline commercial.

Oh, I just now got the concept of the show! Then why did they do Supporting Actress first?

They seem to pick a few choice categories to focus on every year. Apparently this year it is Supporting Actresses.

I wonder when the Academy stopped trusting the presenters to read the names of the nominees live...

VAMPIRE!

And there it is... the closest High School Musical will ever get to an Oscar. Ever. You can write it down. No one associated with High School Musical will EVER win an Oscar.

Is Hugh Jackman going to end every segment with "They don't just (insert profession here), they make movies"?

Ok, cinema guy... get to the point, stop marveling at the banter. ps, your middle name is "Dod"

hahaha, oh Jessica Biel, you're right! All actors, directors, producers, animators, cinematographers, don't know jack about film technology!

They just promised "Two of the top young movie stars of 2008." If they mean Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, I'm going to lose it.

2 digs against The Reader so far! And counting!

Wow, good call Oscars. Pot just MIGHT make the Reader watchable!

Way to hit those cues in the musical numbers, guys...

This tux and red dress number shouldn't make me think of a minstrel show... but it really is.

I prefer Rudolf Nureyev's version of this song from the Muppet show. And he couldn't sing. And that's saying something.

Coming up next: we give Heath Ledger an Oscar!

Joel Grey? Really? Neat-o!

Nice beanie, Phillip!

Oh Cuba.... oh man.... oh that's awful... that was wrong on a lot of levels.

If they play off Heath's family... that would be truly unforgivable.

Ag! Werner Herzog! Run for it!

Coin tricks! Chin balancing! Yes! The Oscars need more of this guy right here!!

Yep, spending hours rendering computer animation is JUST like listening to the Hives!

Combo: Coolest entrance + Geekiest smile = Will Smith

Another disappointing WALL*E loss! What the hell, man? On a movie that was nothing BUT sound design, this one should have got a little more recognition

Will Smith: "Hey dawg! It's a pleasure for you to meet me! How y'all doin? Will Smith. You know me."

This is history? This sound mixing award? How is this history? Will someone eventually explain that?

Goddammit Will Smith... goddammit...

I like how the Slumdog Millionaire cast looks so thrilled when someone from their camp wins!

These commercials are BIZARRE! "www.preventthesurprise.com" to stop "travel diarrhea"?

Wow, Eddie Murphy can make banter not sound like banter! Nicely done!

Right now, the French are going WILD

To think... if I'd kept up with my French Horn playing, I could have been one of those darkened silhouettes

That Slumdog composer booked it out of there!

"All my life I've had the choice between hate and love. I chose love, and I'm here." Well said!

I haven't seen any of these foreign movies. I would have liked Waltz with Bashir to win for it's incredible visuals, or The Class for it's story ("Students help show a new teacher that he is not extraordinary." Can't beat a heartwarmer like that)

I hate this damn Special K commercial.

Thanks Oscars. Thanks to your sweeping camera moves across those myriad video screens I have no idea who died this year. JUST PATCH IT THROUGH!

Thanks Reese! I had no idea that the director was in charge! The more you know...

"Tigger?"

Again... "Tigger?"

Ooo, here's where Kate gets her "Denzel"

She didn't thank Ricky Gervais!

Where's Daniel Day Lewis?

"Hmm... we can't think of anything to say about Richard Jenkins... how about 'This guy's been in a lot of movies'?"

I forgot Mickey Rourke was here until just now!

Theory: They thought Mickey would swear on air, so they gave it to the second least predictable person

Is this movie still being billed as the "feelgood" movie? Because it was horribly depressing in parts!

Closing musical number?

Overall: C-

I Heart Sarah Vowell

2009-02-21T22:45:00.003-05:00

I remember seeing Sarah Vowell on The Daily Show some time ago and thinking "Wow, she's really very smart, and has clearly won the hearts and minds of the audience simply by being her own geeky self! I must remember the name of the book she is promoting (The Wordy Shipmates) and pursue it!"

Then I found out she was the voice of Violet in The Incredibles. Now I've got a nerd-crush.

Gogol Bordello!

2009-02-13T23:08:00.002-05:00

I can't make out who is the most fun to watch in this clip. Oh snap, how awesome would it see them live?

Man, he just hucks that thing...

2009-02-12T16:30:00.001-05:00

A Very Special F*#king Valentine -- powered by Cracked.com

Say it with me, people...

2009-01-20T23:24:00.003-05:00

George W. Bush is no longer the President.

Say it again.

George W. Bush is not the President.

And we KNOW he's too dumb to head up a huge multinational conspiracy!

Or maybe that's the kind of thing we laugh about as naively optimistic ten years from now.

FF

2009-01-19T09:57:00.003-05:00

Ever feel like the ball's in your court? What could be better than seeing one of your favourite bands of the moment on Saturday Night Live? How about if they play your two favourite songs?

Andrew's Playlists at Present

2009-01-13T21:08:00.002-05:00

Mmmmm... music...

List 1

1. "No One Knows I'm Gone" (Tom Waits cover) - Scarlett Johansson - Anywhere I Lay My Head
2. "Apres Moi" - Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
3. "Nerves Normal, Breath Normal - Wintersleep - Wintersleep
4. "Way Down to Heaven" - Sian Alice Group - 59:59
5. "River Man" - Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left
6. "Magic Spells" - Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
7. "Needle in the Hay" - Elliott Smith - Elliott Smith
8. "Kegelstatt Trio for Clarinet, Viola and Piano" - The Family Trio - Family Tree
9. "The Pooka Sings" - Final Fantasy - He Poos Clouds
10. "March Into The Sea" - Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
11. "The National Anthem" - Radiohead - Kid A
12. "Sleepwalking" - The Raveonettes - Pretty in Black
13. "Untitled 8" - Sigur Ros - ( )
14. "Maybe Not" - Cat Power - You Are Free

List 2

1. "White Winter Hymnal" - Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
2. "The Golden Age" - The Asteroids Galaxy Tour - Live iTunes EP
3. "Courtship Date" - Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
4. "The Devil Never Sleeps" - Iron & Wine - The Shepherd's Dog
5. "What Would Wolves Do?" - Les Savy Fav - Let's Stay Friends
6. "Prime" - Marnie Stern - This Is it and I Am it and You Are it and so Is That and He Is it and She Is it and it Is it and That is That
7. "Baby, Just Be Yourself" - The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes
8. "We Started Nothing" - The Ting Tings - We Started Nothing
9. "Tuff Ghost" - The Unicorns - Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?
10. "Who's a Big Baby?" - The White Stripes - Blue Orchid Single
11. "The Grey Estates" - Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer
12. "Untitled" - Interpol - Turn On The Bright Lights
13. "Our Hell" - Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton - Knives Don't Have Your Back
14. "Rhineland (Heartland)" - Beirut - Gulag Orkestar

Good Lyrics

1. The rain has a such a lovely sound
to those who're six feet underground

2. I (uh!) must go on stan (stan) ding (dung!)
You can't (can't) break that (that) which isn't (isn't) yours (yours)

3. There were floods
There was violence

4. I'm on my way to heaven
I am on my way to heaven.

5. Gonna see the river man
Gonna tell him all I can

6. I'll do my scientific best to command your ship.

7. You say you know what he did
But you idiot kid, you don't have a clue

8. N/A

9. Do we believe in devils? No.
Winged men? The healing pow'r of love? No.
Enchantment? Social justice? No.

10. Drag me out of the sea and then teach me to breathe
Give me forced health till I wish death on myself.
Ah ha ha!

11. Everyone
Everyone around here
Everyone is so near

12. Then came that beautiful day
When our hearts collided in great sparks

13. N/A

14. We can all be free
Maybe not with words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind

******

1. I was following the pack
all swallowed in their coats
with scarves of red tied ’round their throats

2. Dressed to the nines, we head to mass

3. Super, over here
Tell them, kill my friends

4. No one on the corner had a quarter for the telephone
Everybody bitching, “There’s nothing on the radio”

5. The world may seem cruel.
The worldly may hate us.
In time we will show the world why the world made us.

6. Rebels of the frontier,
I can make it make sense.

7. Look him in the face and tell him that you're leaving

8. I started nothing. I wish I didn't.

9. tie: I lift weights, but I don't sweat
I go for a swim, but I don't get wet!

I want to hurt you!
Well you can't 'cause I'm already dead

10. Let's go shopping!

11. I've got a feeling that I can't explain
We have to leave this place, we won't go back again

12. I will surprise you sometime
I'll come around

13. We're moderate, we modernize

14. Life, life is all right on the Rhine
No, but I know, but I know
I would have nowhere to go
No, but there's nowhere to go, to go

Diamond in the Rough

2009-01-04T21:24:00.003-05:00

I get some pretty hilarious junk mail. I've had the same email address for all of my emailing career, so I am probably on just about every list you can imagine. Strangely, I've only ever been hit once by the "I'm a deposed Nigerian prince, please help me get my money out of the country" scheme, and I'm disappointed by that. There's so much room for creativity in those emails and if you set aside the fact that it's obviously bullshit, you can get some good reading in there. Admittedly, you then kind of chuckle and delete them anyways, but it's good for a laugh.

Lately, I've been getting a whole series of emails from porno websites (surprise surprise!) with hilarious and irreverent subject lines. I get the feeling that their random subject generator (which I'm sure they have) has been malfunctioning which has been adding on unintentionally funny post scripts to the subject lines. For example, "This guy is doing a cow. Therein" or "Naked Angles smile for the camera. Compost". Whatever that means (Those are both real, by the way). But today's tops them all! Enjoy!

Busty women rule the world! dismay‏

The Internet Party -- powered by Cracked.com

The Riches

2008-12-28T21:42:00.002-05:00

This is the most inspired piece of television writing I have seen in my life, and reaffirms what an amazing genius Mr. Eddie Izzard is. If you want to, you can see the whole thing here, towards the end of the clip. I highly recommend watching the entire series.

*******

[The exterior of a Country Club. Night. Wayne, dressed as Doug, walks over the golf course and looks in at his new neighbors through the large windows. A tall thin man stands outside, lighting a cigarette. This is Connor.]

CONNOR

Hey Doug!

WAYNE

Connor. Too many lawyers?

CONNOR
(Jovially)
Ugh! I know!

WAYNE

What firm you with?

CONNOR

Oh I'm not a lawyer, Doug.

WAYNE

Developer, then?

CONNOR

Well, of young minds I like to think. I teach modern poetry at LSU.

WAYNE

Poetry.
"They miss the whisper that runs any day in your mind. 'Who are you really, wanderer?' And the answer you have to give, no matter how dark and cold the world around you is; 'Maybe I'm a king.'"

[Wayne pats Connor on the shoulder and heads inside the country club, as Bob Dylan's 'Shelter From the Storm' begins to play.]

*******

If I could have one real life exchange like this, I'd die happy. Especially if it were with Eddie Izzard.

So So Sadly Accurate.

2008-12-23T23:22:00.001-05:00

http://www.smbc-comics.com/

Stuff that was great in 2008 (HAR!)

2008-12-17T01:16:00.020-05:00

Dear Internet,

Year end means list season. I am a fan of lists. Lists generally imply organization, but not here! So, with that in mind, here are some things I enjoyed in 2008

Music:

Brooke Waggoner - Heal for the Honey

Ms. Waggoner's debut LP is strikingly confident, and with good reason. Her piano chops as remarkable, and her songwriting and arranging are dictionary-definitions of strong. This album is a constantly moving, fluid collection of songs which delight and surprise at every turn. Here's hoping that the digital release of Brooke's album gains her enough of a financial foothold that she makes it up north for a tour.

Link!

The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust

This release sees the harmony/noise-loving Danes take what they learned on Pretty in Black and apply it to their familiar biker-movie/blistering distortion sound, creating a number of songs that ride the border between songs you can and cannot ever play for your parents.

Bonus WTF content: Lust Lust Lust was ineligible for chart position in the UK because the packaging included 3D glasses. What?

Link!

"California Dreamer" from At Mount Zoomer by Wolf Parade

This whole album is pretty much exactly what I would have expected from a Wolf Parade follow-up record, but one stand-out track provides six minutes and two seconds of rock-out, cathartic, anthematic, indie sound jungle. The almost militaristic drumming behind the chorus as Spencer Krug whoops "I thought I might have heard you on the radio" somehow simultaneously underlines and contrasts Dan Boekner's punching guitar chords. This song really allows you to hear the interplay between two fine (Canadian) songwriters

Link! (Sorry for the audio on this one! Turn your speakers down!)

The Dø - A Mouthful

This album came to me in France, investigated on the premise of an entertaining poster. Opening on a playful, gender-role challenging track with strangely Bjork-like vocals and a menacing synth underlying the whole thing, well... it was hard to know what to expect next. That it led into a fairly straightforward love song was just one of the album's tricks. Who could have predicted that 'At Last' and 'Queen Dot Kong' could have existed on the same album? Unpredictability is the name of the game for this one, ensuring that on every listen something new is discovered.

Link!

Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes/Sun Giant EP

It is just surprising how well these guys can sing. When I finally get my record player all set up, I reckon this will be the first album I play on it. Only the quality of the recording points to this album being made in 2008 and not in some ancient cave somewhere. Along with Bon Iver, I certainly got my folk music fix this year. Which brings us to...

(Link!)

Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

It's hard to believe that only one person made this album. And yet, it's so intensely personal that it couldn't have been created any other way than in that now famous (or at least "indie folk famous") cabin in Vermont. Bon Iver's success is one of those things tat just makes me feel lazy. But I can't fault his music. 'The Wolves (Act I & II)' may be my favourite song of the year.

Link!

Sigur Ros - Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust

Holy Crap! It's Sigur Ros, but happy! Joyful! Bursting with enthusiasm! I can't get over how infused this recording is with positive vibes. It's just so damn infectiously happy. I've long maintained that Sigur Ros is good driving music, because it's calming and can get one into a (good, driving-safe) kind of meditative state. So add a healthy dose of optimism to it, and you've got a good hour on the road (as evidenced by a successful road trip to Sudbury)!

Link!

Bell - EP

My love for this EP is well documented. Olga Bell's bright, intelligent music has a fiery wit which is very winning. Over 6 songs, Olga & Co. deliver a wide variety of styles and moods, ranging from ecstatic dance ("Expanding File," possibly the only dance song written about stationary), to somehow bombastically introspective ("Brown Bear"), to a clandestine rallying cry ("Chunk"). Bell's Bjorkish vocals and electronic atmospherics somewhat overshadow her insanely competent piano skills, so you'll probably also want to check out her cover of Radiohead/Thom Yorke's "Videotape/The Eraser."

Link!

Live Shows

Iron & Wine - Divan du Monde (Paris, France)

What a way to start the year! At the feet of the softly voiced poet laureate of indie folk at his first ever show in France, this was just super cool. Also, snagged a setlist, and got to meet the man himself

Tegan & Sara - Trabendo (Paris, France)

A nice shot of patriotism, it was a lot of fun to see Canada's most famous identical twins play a show in a small/medium Parisian club. Best banter of the year.

Also, best breaking up of a fight by the headliners

Feist - Grand Rex (Paris, France)

Another dose of patriotism from a woman who knows what showmanship is. In a brilliant response to a mediocre reaction from the crowd, Leslie F. quipped "Only half of you are ok? I guess I'd better get to work on the rest of you then." Also, Shadow puppets!

Holy Fuck - Mothreal House (Peterborough, ON)

This was unlike any show I have ever been to. Sweaty, raucous, energizing like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention the unexpected sense of comradery from patrons of an electro-indie band. One girl just randomly came up to me and said "Aren't you just so excited?" We had a quick chat and she gave me a kiss on the cheek before returning to her friends. Definitely a highlight of the year, and the walk home in the pouring rain made it all the better.

How do these work? No idea.

Encounters with Famous People

I only really met one famous person this year, but it was a biggie. The first lady of Canadian literature, Margaret Atwood. Of course, no photographic evidence exists to support that I was ever in the same room as her, but I have many stories. My favourite includes why she wrote what she wrote in my book.

When I first hear I was going to get to meet Peggy, I had no idea what to say (being timid around celebrities and people I admire in the first place), so naturally my first thought was to sabotage the entire encounter by bringing her a copy of 'The Stone Angel' by Margaret Laurence and professing my love for it. Eventually I went with telling her about that idea, and she said "You have no idea how many people make that mistake," and wrote the following on the inside cover of my book:

Andrew,
I did NOT write 'The Stone Angel.' That was a different Margaret.
Margaret Atwood

That's going on my shelf of good stories.

Movies

I'm not going to do a movies section, because honestly I didn't see that may good movies this year, except for one with a clown or some such jazz. That one kicked ass.

Well, that's all (or at least some of) the media related jumbles that have filled my year. Of course, my year had more than just media. I spent the first half in Paris bloody France, making friends with some fantastic and awesome people who I still manage to keep in contact with! Now that I'm back in Canada (much as I missed it), I feel Europe calling to me in many different ways. Once I get a foothold on all this debt I am going back. Here are a few photographic highlights, because words cannot describe.

"I expected better from Quentin Tarantino!"

2008-12-03T22:53:00.003-05:00

I was so disappointed today. I got an email in my junk folder which was titled "See a teen get her every need satisfied." So I clicked the link, hoping to find a happy, well-adjusted teenage girl surrounded by friends and family in a comfortable living environment. Possibly a refrigerator full of nutritious food and drink, and a dog or cat for companionship.

But it was porn.

Sigh... Grow up, Internet.

Regrets

2008-12-02T15:36:00.004-05:00

I made a conscious decision not to go and see Broken Social Scene on November 25th in Toronto, though I had the means and the opportunity. I thought "No, I'll save the money and put it towards something worthwhile." So foolish of me. Why, you ask? This:

That's Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse performing "The World at Large" with the band (including who appears to be Emily Flipping Haines of Metric singing backup!)

GAH! List of regrets added to.

Ahh quizzy goodness

2008-11-30T16:52:00.003-05:00

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 6 YEARS
-------------6 years ago----------

1.) How old were you?: 19
2.) Where did you go to school?: PCVS in Peterborough, Laurentian University in Sudbury
3.) Where did you work?: Nowhere
4.) Where did you live?: Sudbury
5.) Where did you hang out?: Mostly around the school
6.) Did you wear glasses?: At times!
7) Who was your best friend(s): Jenny, and Ami
8.) How many tattoos did you have? Zero
9.) How many piercings did you have?: Zero (look to this as a trend)
10.) What car did you drive? Public transport
11.) Had you been to a real party?: A few
12.) Had You had your heart broken? No
13.)Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Newly Taken

-------------3 years ago----------

1.) How old were you? 22
2.) Where did you go to school? Laurentian University
3.) Where did you work?: The Art Gallery of Sudbury/Bingo One
4.) Where did you live?: Sudbury
5.) Where did you hang out?: My apartment/the school
6.) Did you wear glasses?: No
7.) Who were your best friend(s)?: Jenny, Jay, Liz
9.) How many tattoos did you have.? : Zero
10.) How many piercings did you have?: Zero
11.) What car did you drive?: I can't recall if this was during the Comet days or the Wagon days
12) Had your heart broken?: Nope
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?: Taken

--------------------Today--------------------

1.) How old are you?: 25
2.) Where do you go to school? Graduated from LU in 2006, Applied to Trent for next year
3.) Where do you work?: Minacs
4) Where do you live?: Peterborough
5.) Where do you hang out?: Liz's house, Evan's house, the Only Cafe, Haaselton's
7.) Who are your best friend(s): Jenny, Liz, Evan, Jay
i9.) How many tattoos do you have.? : Still Zero
10.) How many piercings do you have?: Yet another Zero
11) What car do you drive?: I take the foot train most places
12) Had your heart broken?: Yep
13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?: Single

WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
1 MINUTE AGO: Filling this out
1 HOUR AGO: Napping
1 DAY AGO: Looking at how expensive laptop computers are
1 YEAR AGO: Prepping for a flight back home for the bro's wedding.

First piercing: has yet to happen
Last big car ride: I drove to Sudbury a couple weekends ago
Last movie seen in theaters: La Damnation de Faust
Last food consumed: An egg McBobby
Last person you texted/called: I tried to text Liz, but it didn't go through.
Last CD played: "So Tonight I Might See" by Mazzy Star
Last drink drank: Flattened Ginger Ale

More Modern Godesses of Music

2008-11-27T16:51:00.004-05:00

Today we (I) do another salute to the amazing women of music. This will be the fourth edition of the list honouring girls who sing, play guitar, piano, harp, keyboards, or just generally rock out. Enjoy!

Original List (October 2005)

# Sharin Foo of the Raveonettes
# Bjork
# Tori Amos
# Regine Chassange of Arcade Fire
# Amy Millan of Stars/Broken Social Scene
# Meg White of the White Stripes
# Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs
# Fiona Apple
# Tegan
# Sara
# Zia McCabe of the Dandy Warhols
# Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth
# D'Arcy Wretsky of Smashing Pumpkins

Amendments (as of September 2006)

# Leslie Feist (Solo/Member of Broken Social Scene)
# Emily Haines of Metric/Broken Social Scene
# Amanda Palmer of Dresden Dolls
# Sarah Beam of Iron & Wine
# Becky Ninkovic of You Say Party! We Say Die!
# Krista Loewen of You Say Party! We Say Die!

Further Amendments (December 2007)

# Regina Spektor
# Abby & Amanda of The Ditty Bops
# Chan Marshall (Cat Power)
# Jenny Lewis
# Joanna Newsom
# Victoria Bergsman
# Gwen-O, RiotBecki & Rosay of The Pipettes

Even More Amendments (November 2008)

# Marnie Stern

If anyone ever says girls can't play guitar, all you need do is play them any track off of Marnie Stern's latest album, This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That Is That, and they will apologize.

# Mirah

Cute little voice, after 9pm lyrics. Ooo la la... She's been described as Liz Phair, but not as cynical. Plus, her cover of "Dancing in the Dark" is hilarious.

# Olga Bell

Olga Bell would be on this list if only for her stellar (and incredibly competent) cover of "Videotape/The Eraser," but her debut EP of original material is striking, energetic, and constantly surprising.

# Brooke Waggoner

Brooke Waggoner GAVE AWAY her debut EP "Fresh Pair of Eyes," and I still feel guilty I didn't pay for it. If her music is any indication of her personality, I want to hang out with her. I love how every song has a really positive vibe to it, and will occasionally break into an "I can't keep it in anymore" sort of revelry.

That's it for right now. I'm trying to be practical this year, not bestowing a "goddess" ranking on anyone I have a mild infatuation for, or who has one song I get hung up on and am unable to name another song from their catalog. Fabulous women who may yet make the list from this year are:

Laura Veirs

Olivia B. Merilahti of The Do

Romi and Sari Lightman of Ghost Bees

Natasha Khan of Bat for Lashes

Top 5 Records

2008-11-25T11:00:00.003-05:00

Hey kids! Who wants to play like they work at Championship Vinyl with Rob Gordon, Jack Black and the gang? Here we go! The category is:

Top 5 Side 1, Track 1

Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple (from Extraordinary Machine)

Our Hell - Emily Haines (from Knives Don't Have Your Back)

Pink Moon - Nick Drake (from Pink Moon)

March Into the Sea - Modest Mouse (from We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank)

Untitled 1 - Sigur Ros (from ( ))

Liz, Angelo, Anyone else? What you got?

Before she was Sarah Palin...

2008-11-17T11:30:00.002-05:00

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm not gay.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

Liz: I'm sorry, you're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?
Jack: Look, I know how this sounds.
Liz: No, Jack. We're not doing that. We're not compromising the integrity of the show to sell-
Pete: Wow, this is Diet Snapple?
Liz: I know! It tastes just like regular Snapple, doesn't it?
Frank: You should try "Plumigranite." It's amazing.
Cerie: (to camera) I only date guys who drink Snapple.
Jack: Look, we all love Snapple. Lord knows I do, but focus here. We're talking about product integration.

Oh You (AC)!

2008-11-07T16:50:00.003-05:00

I have begun the process for applying to Teacher College in an official capacity now (ie/ I started paying fees). Two things are starting to worry me about this whole set-up. They are as follows:

1) They contact successful candidates on April Fool's Day.
2) The Ontario Faculties of Education incomprehensibly abbreviates to TEAS ("tease").

This is like applying to seminary and finding out if I got in on a festival of religious doubt (though I don't know if there are any of those currently going on).

All joking aside, having paid my $183.00 CDN makes this a pretty official "career move," something I have not made before. Cool.

Placeholder.

2008-11-04T20:26:00.004-05:00

Man, it's been a while.

I keep thinking of junk I can write and put on here, but then I see something shiny and... well...

I have things I could write about, but by now there's so much clunking around up there that I'm sure I'll leave something out or have some stuff come up half-baked. So here are two statements and a question:

S1) People who interrupt are THE WORST when your job is to be polite.
S2) It sucks when your foot just starts to hurt for no reason and won't quit.

Q1) How do you know if you have diabetes?

Oh yeah, and it's American election night. I'm intentionally not following it. I'll just see what happens tomorrow morning.

Sure, why not?

2008-10-21T22:48:00.002-04:00

p.s. I did NOT know they were friends!

p.p.s. After rewatching, I like how many of the puppies have a look on their face that says "I feel uncomfortable in my new responsibilities. I don't think I have the experience necessary to bail out the markets from this global financial crisis!" Check it out! Not ONE of those puppies looks at ease.

What would title this post?

2008-10-18T17:29:00.003-04:00

Have you ever been listening to a favourite song, perhaps singing along with it's lyrics, only to have someone say "That's not even remotely accurate"? So you look up the lyrics and see that what you've been singing all along, either out loud or in your head, is something completely different than what the artist intended. Ever feel like your version is better?

I'm in conflict with a song at the moment. It is "Live for the Sounds" by Brooke Waggoner. This is the lyric as I hear it:

Why do you ask do you ask me why?
I live for the sad, sick, kingly wisdom

And the real lyric is this:

Why do you ask do you ask me why?
I live for the sounds and gain their wisdom

Maybe it's part of the King Lear obsession I've been dealing with recently. Either way, I kind of like my version better. Which is kind of silly, really. Brooke Waggoner is much more talented than I am. I could never write a song, let alone enough songs to comprise an album. I guess I likes what my brain makes up.

And now you know that. You watched it! You can't UN-watch it!

What does YOUR family do at Thanksgiving?

2008-10-16T12:01:00.001-04:00

BELair

2008-10-10T23:37:00.000-04:00

I saw this young lady tonight!

It's that time of year again...

2008-10-07T22:34:00.004-04:00

Time to avoid this post, because it is of interest only to me. Also, time to see which songs have been played most on ol' Meg, my beloved purveyor of electronic music files. How I love this little smaller-than-a-deck-of-cards device, and it's ability to provide me with 3+ years of listening enjoyment.

For reference, here is last year's (2007) list:

1. "Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl" from You Forgot It In People - Broken Social Scene (116 plays)
2. "Kid A" from Kid A - Radiohead (86 plays)
3. "Bukowski" from Good News for People Who Love Bad News - Modest Mouse (82 plays)
4. "Pink Moon" from Pink Moon - Nick Drake (75 plays)
5. "Maps" from Fever to Tell - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (75 plays)
6. "The View" from Good News for People Who Love Bad News - Modest Mouse (74 plays)
7. "Inside and Out" from Let It Die - Feist (73 plays)
8. "Tick" from Fever To Tell - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (72 plays)
9. "Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Beter Day)" from Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene (68 plays)
10. "I'll Believe in Anything" from Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade (68 plays)
11. "Jezebel" from Woman King EP - Iron & Wine (67 plays)
12. "Friend of the Night" from Mr. Beast - Mogwai (66 plays)
13. "Words So Leisured" from Franz Ferdinand Bonus Disc - Franz Ferdinand (63 plays)
14. "Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" from Apologies to the Queen Mary - Wolf Parade (63 plays)
15. "7/4 (Shoreline)" from Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene (62 plays)
16. "The Engine Driver" from Picaresque - The Decemberists (62 plays)
17. "Finish Your Collapse and Stay for Breakfast" from Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene (61 plays)
18. "Marching Bands of Manhattan" from Plans - Death Cab for Cutie (60 plays)
19. "Upward Over the Mountain" from The Creek Drank the Cradle - Iron & Wine (60 plays)
20. "Road" from Pink Moon - Nick Drake (60 plays)
21. "Untitled 1" from ( ) - Sigur Ros (59 plays)
22. "When I Was a Young Girl" from Let It Die - Feist (58 plays)
23. "Stella Was a Diver and She was Always Down" from Turn On the Bright Lights - Interpol (58 plays)
24. "Horn" from Pink Moon - Nick Drake (58 plays)
25. "Parting Gift" from Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple (57 plays)

And here is this year's (2008) list:

1. "Anthems for a Seventeen-Year old Girl" - Broken Social Scene (123 plays)
2. "Pink Moon" - Nick Drake (97 plays)
3. "Kid A" - Radiohead (92 plays)
4. "Our Hell" - Emily Haines (88 plays)
5. "Bukowski" - Modest Mouse (85 plays)
6. "Inside and Out" - Feist (82 plays)
7. "Jezebel" - Iron & Wine (79 plays)
8. "The View" - Modest Mouse (79 plays)
9. "Maps" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (77 plays)
10. "Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Better Day)" - Broken Social Scene (76 plays)
11. "I'll Believe in Anything" - Wolf Parade (75 plays)
12. "Tick" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (75 plays)
13. "Untitled 1" - Sigur Ros (73 plays)
14. "Road" - Nick Drake (72 plays)
15. "Pink Bullets" - The Shins (72 plays)
16. "7/4 (Shoreline)" - Broken Social Scene (71 plays)
17. "1234" = Feist (71 plays)
18. "Upward Over the Mountain" - Iron & Wine (71 plays)
19. "Friend of the Night" = Mogwai (70 plays)
20. "Finish Your Collapse and Stay for Breakfast" - Broken Social Scene (69 plays)
21. "Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" - Wolf Parade (69 plays)
22. "The Engine Driver" - The Decemberists (68 plays)
23. "Honey Honey" - Feist (68 plays)
24. "Place to Be" - Nick Drake (68 plays)
25. "Horn" - Nick Drake (68 plays)

With a few runners-up:

26. "When I Was a Young Girl" - Feist (67 plays)
27. "Between the Bars (Elliot Smith cover)" - Emily Haines & James Shaw (66 plays)

Well, "Anthems for a Seventeen-Year Old Girl" is still the reigning champ! Three years and counting! No arguments here. It is a completely solid song that deserves multiple listens. Strange that in a whole year I've only listened to it 7 times. It's lead has weakened slightly, now only 26 plays above #2, as compared to last year's 30 play lead.

I'm also glad to see "Our Hell" and "Untitled 1" steadily climbing the ladder. I am a little surprised to see how many of the songs are within striking distance of each other. A three way tie for 16th place, and a four way tie for 22nd! This might be exciting if it didn't happen only once a year!

Gone from the list this year are "Parting Gift" (previously #25, now #36), "Marching Bands of Manhattan" (previously #18, now #29. ouch), "Stella Was a Diver and She Was Always Down" (previously #23, now #30), "Words So Leisured" (Previously #13 , now #28. ouch again).

New additions are "Place to Be," "Honey Honey," and "1234." Nick Drake's Pink Moon makes an impressive showing with four entries (from a total of 10 tracks on that album. 40% placement!), and Feist features on vocals for four songs.

Predictions for next year: If any song is going to make a charge for the list, I think it's going to be "Reckoner" by Radiohead (currently #248). Let's just see how much that climbs in a year. Also, any number of songs by Joanna Newsom (the current highest being "Cosmia (live)" at #56).

I don't care how geeky this is, I totally love it.

Andrew's Polaris Impressions

2008-10-07T21:11:00.006-04:00

The Polaris Prize!

A celebration of Canadian music, the best and brightest, without regard to sales! What a refreshing concept! I get very excited about the process when it comes about every September, and it always introduces me to some great new bands. When I was growing up, in terms of Canadian music, I only knew about the Barenaked Ladies, and Sloan. Obviously things have expanded exponentially since then, and the Polaris is a great opportunity to go even further. I've got a list on my iPod of Polaris winners, and I always enjoy a spin through there. Three albums so far!

1) He Poos Clouds - Final Fantasy
2) Close to Paradise - Patrick Watson
3) Andorra - Caribou

Which means that technically, He Poos Clouds is "better" than Broken Social Scene, Live it Out and Apologies to the Queen Mary.

Technically, Close to Paradise is "better" than Neon Bible, The Besnard Lakes are the Dark Horse, and The Reminder (which is kind of insane).

And technically Andorra is "better" than LP, Asking for Flowers, and Parc Avenue.

So you can see where there might be some issues. I do not envy the 2006 judges. Who wants to pick from that list? And in fact pretty much everyone will admit that they never saw Final Fantasy coming. In my personal opinion, Final Fantasy is the only winner thus far to have some real staying power. Has Patrick Watson done anything else to date? No offense to the guy, but I know nothing about him. And it's been over a year! Just checked out the ol' Wiki, and nope! No albums since Close to Paradise. I haven't really listened to Andorra enough to have it make a lasting impression, but I don't think it's too much to ask that the "Best Canadian album of the year" have something that grabs you (for an outstanding example, see "This Lamb Sells Condos" from He Poos Clouds).

And I will say this: I think it is a crying shame that Island's Arm's Way got shut out of the 2008 shortlist while Stars In Our Bedroom After the War made it. I have issues with Stars. I was so infatuated with them until I saw them live at Lollapalooza in 2006. Ever since then, I have barely given them a listen. I haven't listened to Set Yourself on Fire since February. They were so hammy. Torquil Campbell, I would be looking in your direction if your ridiculous stage presence didn't make me cringe. Makes me think that he's listed as a member of Broken Social Scene only because he showed up with Amy Milan one day and refused to leave. Bleah...

Moving swiftly on...

There is bound to be some contention in the ranks of music fans when these kinds of prizes are brought out (see Pitchfork Media's hilarious announcement of Patrick Watson's 2007 victory. "Guess Canadians like this guy?" heh heh heh), and I will jump on the bandwagon by saying that Feist not winning in 2007 is just about as mental as it gets. The Reminder is classic indie pop. It's one of those records that you get out and play for your kids. It's hard to believe it's just an album because it plays like a greatest hits compilation. I'm not saying Close to Paradise was "bad" or "worse," just that The Reminder is so inconceivably awesome that it's nothing less than shocking that it didn't win.

Anyway, I'm glad for this opportunity to expand my musical library. And it's kind of cool that whenever I mention a new cool band, I can throw in "They're Canadian."

p.s. You know what blows my mind? Owen Pallett arranged the strings for The Last Shadow Puppets The Age of the Understatement. Which means that the guy from Final Fantasy and the guy from Arctic Monkeys have worked together. Ka-pow.

Question of the day

2008-10-02T20:17:00.002-04:00

Is it geekier to love Final Fantasy, the video game, or Final Fantasy, the musician?

In other words, who's geekier, Liz or me?

VS.

A night of firsts...

2008-09-29T04:26:00.002-04:00

Well this hasn't ever happened before. Here's a list of "I've never's."

I've never been awakened by a toothache before

I've never been able to see my own cavity before

I've never driven to a 24-hour Wal*Mart at four am to purchase Advil before

Recently, an old filling of mine has rapidly deteriorated (ie/ Just kind of fallen out), and prices being what they are, I don't know when I'll be able to get it replaced. Which is akin to saying "I don't know when I'll be able to eat solid foods again."

I might be able to function as a normal human being if I go on interest relief, max out my credit card, and put my savings on ice for a month at least.

All this might have been worth it if I had run into someone who'd asked "How's it going?" so I could say "It'd probably be going better if I wasn't driving to the store at 4am to buy painkillers." But the cashier was possibly the rudest person I've met in months, and my parents are sound sleepers. All I'm asking for is a little sympathy... and to not be awakened by screaming pain in my jaw. As soon as the two extra strength gel-caps kick in I'm going out like an energy efficient light (which is switched off).

I've never complained about this specific issue using the internet before.

Oop, there they go. And here I go.

Bring tea for the tillerman, steak for the son...

2008-09-24T14:42:00.002-04:00

This clip brings out the best in the show Extras.

Why I love having access to CKLU again...

2008-09-22T10:10:00.002-04:00

Getting to hear early Monday morning discussions of films which end in interchanges like the following:

Host 1: The good ones don't always win. Look at Rocky.

Host 2: Yeah, you know what happened to Rocky? He got brain damage.

Host 1: Yeah, but he made his comeback in "Rocky Balboa"

Host 2: Yeah, but he lost in that movie.

Host 1: Yeah, well...

Host 2: You know what? I don't ever want to talk to you again.

(Fade up with soothing, ambient music)

AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNND.... SCENE!

Ain't got no title

2008-09-19T21:49:00.002-04:00

I could go for living in a town with more people I know. Colour me lonely.

Here's my playlist:

1) Peach Plumb Pear (demo) - Joanna Newsom
2) Winning - Emily Haines
3) Still True - Feist
4) Diamond Sea (Sonic Youth cover) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5) Providence - Sonic Youth
6) Search Party - Wintersleep
7) Back of a Truck - Regina Spektor
8) Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes
9) Bat's Mouth - Bat for Lashes
10) All My Friends - Broken Social Scene
11) Tender Mending - Brooke Waggoner
12) Dead Man's Will - Iron & Wine

In other bullet point news, my former boss/current awesome person, Nancy is in an issue of NME! Link!

And finally, this is what I'll be doing next Saturday!

You are of course welcome to join me.

Quote of the week

2008-09-18T11:11:00.002-04:00

Upon watching the MST3K classic "Girl in Gold Boots," Liz Buchanan was heard to exclaim "So the happy ending is that he's going to Vietnam?"

See for yourself why this is so ridiculous... Many of the jump cuts actually just happened, like when the greasy guy teleports into the diner and they are randomly riding the dunebuggy

I miss Tina Fey...

2008-09-15T09:40:00.000-04:00

Maybe I should watch that "30 Rock" show sometime...

File under "Audio"

2008-09-13T00:51:00.006-04:00

"Thanks to the failure of the Luddite movement," I am listening to Luke Norton's radio programme, "This Week in Braille" via cklu.ca (link to your right). It has been so long since I enjoyed listening to the radio this much.

This Monday I had the idea to apply for a show on the local university radio station, Trent Radio, 92.7 (strikingly similar to CKLU's 96.7!) with a show format similar to my old show, "Sleepwalking," but with a little more (much needed) structure and discipline. Just a little more. Possibly some forethought. Sadly, the applications had to be in by Friday (ie/ today... or rather, yesterday. Geez, it's late!), and also new members of the Trent Radio broadcasting community are only allowed on the air from 10am - 10pm, which, thanks to work, I am not available for. So that will have to go on the back burner for the time being.

But listening to Mr. Norton's fine and eclectic program has re-sparked a low simmering enjoyment in music I've been working with for the last few days. I'm currently exploring the Wolf Parade matrix (ie/ Wolf Parade, Frog Eyes, Sunset Rubdown, & Handsome Furs), four projects, side-projects, "solo albums," and general experimenting which equals out to the musical sensation of walking through a dripping bramble-lined thicket with soft, wet moss underfoot. Throw in a little TV on the Radio, and you're in for a treat! Walking across a misty bridge to work this morning listening to "Random Spirit Lover" in the early morning rain felt so damn appropriate that I wanted to retreat to the woods and live in a cave. That feeling is generally in the background of my consciousness, but this morning it was thrown fully against the windshield of my eyes. Makes working in an office difficult.

As a person who likes their music, but who also likes respecting that his music may not be the cup of tea of those around him, headphones are important. I have two sets currently. This first looks like this:

These are great (or they were before the jack end started to crack and now you have to hold them at a very specific angle if you want stereo) for a couple of reasons. Many earphones have the tendency to play very loudly, so much so that it's questionable whether or not they need be in the ear at all. These are completely silent once they're four inches from your ear. Also, they block out background noise almost completely. I can't hear cars go by on a busy street when I've got these things in. I can completely lose myself in the music, which is kind of the point of music, isn't it? I don't have to listen to anything I don't want to!

The second pair looks like this:

I think this type of headphone might be labeled the "Music Geek." Nerdy as it sounds, I feel a bit like Rob Gordon when I wear these things. And if you enjoy that feeling, well something may be out of place in your life, but the music is amazing. Rob Gordon is the hipster's Jeff Gordon. These headphones ensure worry-free late-night enjoyment of music and film while living at home. They are my escape to all those good things I've been talking about. I love these headphones.

It's now much later than I have been going to bed lately. I'm kind of on a "screen high," which means that the second I turn away from the computer I will begin that downhill slide which starts with a vague feeling of nausea. But how can I do that when Mr. Luke Norton just put on a song featuring cello, acoustic guitar, and a female French singer?

Long live late night music!

Your Daily Dose of Harmless Surrealism

2008-09-12T07:31:00.000-04:00

If I were you, I'd only watch up until 2:44.

Plus cameras steal my soul...

2008-09-11T23:17:00.003-04:00

Dude, I am super tired....

And I've come to realize this: I can't find any good pictures of me. Am I just not that photogenic? There are some people you can point a camera at and it'll turn out great no matter what they're doing. I don't believe I am one of these people.

Also, I am greatly enamored of the work of Greta Gerwig and her cabal of co-workers.

Go and seek her out!

"Breadfruit this with me."

2008-08-22T22:31:00.003-04:00

I am in the middle of the most surreal conversation I think I've ever had. Here's the set-up:

A long while ago someone added me to their MSN list. The email looked semi-familiar so I just assumed it was someone I hadn't talked to in a really long time. But lately I've been wondering... Just who is this person? So tonight I said hello, and who are you? Here is the transcript of the following conversation. Nothing has been changed, but editorial comments have been added.

Andrew says:
Hello, This may seem strange, but you've been on my MSN list for a while now and for the life of me, I can't remember who you are!

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yerana

Andrew says:
Ok, you'll have to forgive me but I'm still struggling... How do we know each other?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
na entendei mba'eve (no Spanish translation available)

(Long Pause)

Andrew says:
Do you speak English?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes yes

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
rapo

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
raul

Andrew says:
Where did we meet?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
no (animated nodding smiley)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
soy la novia de piratita (Translation: I am the pirate's fiance)

Andrew says:
You're the Pirate's Fiance?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes

Andrew says:
Who is the Pirate?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
are you raul on the rocks?

Andrew says:
No, I'm Andrew... on a chair.

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
y a mi que ?? (Translation: And that??)

Andrew says:
I don't really speak Spanish all that well...

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
you got to largar your join (Larger = to release)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
capeshe?

Andrew says:
Largar?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes, epo'i chugui man (No translation available)

Andrew says:
Dude, no idea what that means.

Andrew says:
Where are you?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
at home

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
you?

Andrew says:
I'm at my home. Are you in Canada?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
i'm in lomapyta, are you supos to be in remansito? (Lomapyta and Remansito are two towns in Paraguay)

Andrew says:
No, I'm in Canada, in North America. Are you in Paraguay?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
que?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
is Adriana?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
ia adri weth you nowW

Andrew says:
I'm really confused...

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
no, you aren't confuced, you are stoned

Andrew says:
haha, um... ok, let's try again... What is your name?

(Long pause)

Andrew says:
Are you still there?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
my name is esther

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
i'm claudio's girlfriend

Andrew says:
I don't think I know who Claudio is

Andrew says:
Do you know who I am? Or is this really random?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yerana raul berton

Andrew says:
No, that's not my name

Andrew says:
My name is Andrew. I live in Canada

Andrew says:
I can't figure out how we know each other

Andrew says:
Did we meet somewhere?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
barrabas. black rooster and many more

Andrew says:
When was that?

(Another long pause. At this point I gave up trying to make sense)

Andrew says:
Will the Pirate be angry with me for talking with you?

(pause.)

Andrew says:
How is Claudio?

(pause.)

Andrew says:
I like your butterfly picture.

(pause.)

Andrew says:
Did you leave?

(pause.)

Andrew says:
Hello?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
hello

Andrew says:
What is your favourite colour?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
black

Andrew says:
What is your favourite animal?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
the tiger

Andrew says:
Do you like to travel?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
no

Andrew says:
How old are you?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
16

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
you?

(Long pause as I consider if I've said or implied anything illegal. Clean. Proceeding with caution...)

Andrew says:
I'm 25. We don't know each other, do we?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes

Andrew says:
How?

Andrew says:
Are we friends?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
(Animated .gif of two men rocking out on the guitar)

Andrew says:
Do you play guitar?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
bass guitar

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
like you

(Pause for regrouping)

Andrew says:
Ok, here's what's going on Esther. There has been a mix-up, and we don't really know each other.

(Long pause)

Andrew says:
Do you live in Paraguay?

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
yes

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
(Animated .gif of metalhead rocking out)

Andrew says:
Do you know where Canada is?

(Long pause)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
me aburris (No translation)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
chau (No translation)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
bye

Andrew says:
ok, goodbye Esther... whoever you are.

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
viste que entendes español (Approximate translation: it dresses that entendes Spanish)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
te pille too (Translation: too pillages to you)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
raul

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
saludos a adri (greetings to adri)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
bye

Andrew says:
Tell claudio I said Hello

Andrew says:
bye

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
dalep (No translation)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
aca esta conmigo (breadfruit this with me)

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
te manda saludos tambien (it also sends greetings to you)

Andrew says:
I don't speak Spanish, so I don't know what that means.

"Esther"= Strellita!!! says:
ok

Andrew says:
ok

(The End?)

Friday thoughts

2008-08-22T18:35:00.006-04:00

Hello there patrons of the internet,

I'm just home from my first week of 9-5 at my new job. I think it's safe to say without a hint of bravado that I am a shining light of professionalism in my training class. I hope it gets me a raise, but it probably won't. I think legally saying anything more will get me terminated (were this a real websight on a real computer, and not a colouring book taped to a broken typewriter), so contact me in person and I'll dish.

Related, but non-disclosing and thus non-liable, is that I found out today that we are allowed to choose our own desktop backgrounds on our work computers. Therefore, I spent my 15 minute breaks looking for something very appropriate, and finally settled on the following:

Which, in retrospect, might be inappropriate, but considering what other people have up, is no less strange or out of place. So Luke Norton now adorns my work station, but he is not called Luke Norton, oh no. You see, just prior to selecting Mr. Norton's photo for my wallpaper, I gave my computer a name tag which reads "Hello, my name is Yankee Mike," named for the first two phonetic characters of the machine's serial number. So now people ask how Yankee Mike would handle situations or what he would say about training procedures. On one occasion, someone said to the trainer (who was being an angel in diligently explaining some facet of the company's policies), "I don't know what Yankee Mike would say about that," and was greeted with a look of curious stupification. It was pretty much the only time I wasn't wishing to be surrounded by a different group of people.

Should Mr. Norton (aka Yankee Mike) wish me to remove the picture from the system's computer at any time on the grounds that it's weird or creepy, he may feel free to contact me and it will be off like a new groom's shoes.

It being Friday and having an actual "weekend" to look forward to, I took a detour on the way home to a local coffee shop, drank tea, sat by the window and read a good (albeit unexpectedly dark at times) book while listening to very decent and atmospheric music. Here are some highlights, though not the whole boring list:

Dead Letter and the Infinite Yes - Wintersleep

Still True - Feist

You're Drifting - Oneida

Like Spinning Plates - Radiohead

Baby Doll - Cat Power

It was one of those grand days when my iPod knew just what kind of music would suit the air around me.

I have planned a trip around the world. Please see the route below.

A few things: multiple stops in one country generally indicate that I want to travel around in that country (ie/ I'm not certain I HAVE to see Perth Australia, but I'd like to get a flavour of that area, perhaps more than saying in one of the major cities can provide), but in some cases there are definitely certain cities I'd like to see (ie/ Moscow/St. Petersburg). So here we go!

Starting in Peterborough, drive to Toronto.

Take the train out to Vancouver

Fly to San Francisco to see people whose acquaintance I briefly but warmly made in Paris

Fly to New Zealand

Fly to Australia

Fly to Tokyo, Japan, probably for only one or two days. I think that's all I could handle, but this schedule is loosy goosy, so who knows?

Take a ship up to Vladivastok

Ride the train or fly to Moscow

Train to St. Petersburg

Train into Warsaw

Train to Amsterdam

Train down to Italy. It doesn't matter too much where I go in Italy, but I've listed Rome here for the sake of ease.

Fly or take a ship over to Spain (which ever is cheaper). Similar situation to Italy, doesn't make too much difference which parts I see.

Train over to Andorra (Andorra doesn't get enough credit. I bet it's beautiful there)

Train up to Paris for a good few days.

Fly to London

Train or drive to Newport

Fly or take a ship over to Ireland. Explore THOROUGHLY.

Fly over to Iceland. If a ship is feasible, TAKE A SHIP TO ICELAND.

Fly to New York to see some more Parisian people.

Take the train back to Toronto.

Drive home to Peterborough.

You may notice that I have no destinations in South America or Africa listed. This is for two reasons. The first is that South America doesn't really interest me. The second is that if I ever get up the courage to go to Africa that will be a trip all on it's own.

So once I win the lottery, I'll get right on that! Want to come? We're sleeping outdoors at least once on every continent!

And finally, I am starting to make a mental list. It will be one of those "101 things to do in 1001 days." So stay tuned.

Gotta go move some chairs.

p.s. Tomorrow is the first day of the Peterborough Folk Festival. I can't take it all in, but I do have room in my schedule for a band called "Ghost Bees." I am SO excited to see them, whoever they are! Ghost Bees! Couldn't you just?

Man, can that girl work a vocal...

2008-08-13T11:33:00.000-04:00

"Back Of A Truck"

She lifted the monument in her monumental arms
She was the Mother Superior with her carry-on luggage charms
She was this androgynous powder nosed girl next door
She had eaten her dog and she was back for more
Back for more, back for more
Oh she was back for more, some more, yes please, some more

Her gym teacher thought himself a sweat-socked demi-god
And her geraniums thought themselves an alien pod
And her front porch gave way beneath the classified weight
And when an ambulance came they said it's much too late
Oh it's much too late, oh it's much too, much too late
Oh it's much too late, how late? Very late, too late.

Now the people of New Guinea and the people of L.A.
Have been penpals for years cause they both hate ballet
Only the pandas and bears have made a clean get away
But the news bulletin claims it is gonna be okay
Now Miss Lucy had a sweat shop where the immigrants work
Problem was they all turned to pumpkins at the 12 o'clock stroke
Promptly confiscated by police precinct number X
That was when alien geraniums entered into a fight
No violence, of course, no violence, no violence, of course
Hey no violence, of course, of course, why yes, of course
I mean, I mean, of course, why yes, of...of course

Here the story gets hazy and the hair gets too long
And the T.V. gets quiet as I hear a real bad song
The mothers get whiskey and the girlfriends get tongue
And there's a back of a truck selling smoke free lungs
And there's a back of a truck selling alien pods
And there's a back of a truck selling game show hosts
And there's a back of a truck selling the souls of the dead
And there's a back of a truck selling crumb free bread
This is New York!
Now there's a back of a truck selling the back of a car
And there's a back of a car selling road way maps
And there are road way maps selling a back of a head
Hey how much for that back of a head, man?
Hey wait a minute, hey wait a minute
Wait a minute that's...wait a minute that's my back of a head
Hey you can't sell that, man, that's my back of a head
Hey, hey sell it back to me, man, sell it back to me
Hey it's, it's my m-m-m-m-m-m-mine

She lifted the monument in her monumental arms
She was the Mother Superior with her carry-on luggage charms
She was this androgynous powder nosed girl next door
She had eaten her dog and she was back for more
She had eaten her dog, D-O-W-G
She had eaten a dog, d-d-dog, d-d-dog, dog, dog, dog
She had eaten a...eaten a...eaten...eaten her...ooooh
Mmmmmm...mmmm...mmm
Ohhhh...ohhh....ohhhh
Ooooh....ooooooh...ooooh
Some more, yes please, some more
Some more, yes please, some more

I can't believe they let us watch this show...

2008-08-11T23:03:00.002-04:00

The "Yackety-Yack" Yaks have long been a favourite cartoon character of mine.

Deadline.

2008-08-11T21:59:00.002-04:00

Tonight I joined a book club/writer's circle with two local young women. I had planned to create a book club since moving back to Ptbo, and so went online to post an ad. On the line, I saw another ad which was almost word for word what I was going to post, so I responded to that, and tonight we had our first meeting.

In one month we will be meeting to discuss Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones, which I had been wanting to read anyways, so this all works out! Following that will be Haruki Murikami's South of the Border, West of the Sun (my choice) and finishing off this round will be Gregory David Roberts' Shantaram.

Also, at my prompting, we are going to meet again in two weeks time with some piece of writing to share. I did not really think that one through, as I don't have anything at the moment. Luckily, we are all in the same boat that way. They both said they'd probably just toss something off the night before, which is fair. No one's expecting masterpieces the first night. We all seem fairly enthusiastic about being able to have a creative outlet, and hopefully this will be a supportive, helpful environment. I think it will be. I hope it will be.

So now the pressure's on. I've got two weeks to do... something. With any luck, this will be just what I need.

Your malapropism for the day

2008-08-11T15:48:00.003-04:00

There is a sewing shop I walk past on a semi-regular basis (it's on the way to the video rental place), and every time I pass it I read the sign incorrectly.

"Birgit's Sewing Shop" becomes "Bigtits Sewing Shop." And every time, without fail, I try to figure out the correlation between big tits and sewing supplies before realizing that I read the sign wrong. And then I think about making a post similar to this one in an effort to exorcise this Freudian slip from my mind. Maybe by openly acknowledging the situation I can put it to rest.

Or maybe I just have other things on my mind...

Interview

2008-08-10T23:12:00.003-04:00

Oh wow.

I just finished watching the film "Interview," directed by Steve Buscemi, based on the Dutch film of the same name. It starred Buscemi and Sienna Miller as interviwer and interviewee, respectively. He is a political correspondent used to covering wars, impeachments, and the like. She is a movie star more famous for who she's sleeping with than anything she's done (ie/ the "Killer Bunny" movies). After a disastrous initial interview in which he admits outright that he has never seen any movie she's been in, and she tells him to fuck himself and storms out, he bonks his head and ends up back at her apartment with a bag of frozen peas on his noggin, followed by 90 fascinating minutes of intricately revealed character development.

The movie is fantastically acted. Like her character, I only knew Sienna Miller by reputation (unfavorable at that), but man has that gal got chops! I have to hand it to anyone who can deliver the following line without overdoing it:

"I'm not crazy Pierre, I just want to kill you!"

There was little doubt as to whether or not Steve Buscemi would deliver, and deliver he did. Both characters are so complex and realistic and human, you never know how to feel about them at any given point. I'm forming a post-film bond with both of them right now. Pardon my gushing. In fact, I don't have much else to say. Just... wow. Well, one more thing, in the paragraph that follows:

This is my new test movie. If I show you this movie, I'm testing your reaction to see if you have good taste in films.

Oh yeah, and this film is incredibly stageable. It would be so much fun to direct this for the stage. I wonder how much the rights would cost...

Is it weird to be this enthused by subtlety?

Some Awesome Things for Today

2008-08-09T16:03:00.002-04:00

Hello world!

The good mood fairy is smiling on me today, so here's some of that for all y'all:

Ran into two people (on separate occasions) on the street today that I haven't seen since high school! Both encounters began with the other person saying "Andrew?" and then a big hug! I'm glad people like hugging people they haven't seen in six or seven years.

Talked to another friend online for the first time in a long time. It was a conversational hug!

Starting a book club on Monday! I wanted to start such a club since being back home, and I found someone who was already in the midst of like-minded recruiting, so I signed up! I bought a note book to go along with the club. Anyone who knows me know that the day I buy a new notebook will be a very good day. Also it gave me an excuse to look through boxes of packed away books which was like Christmas.

It's this lady's birthday today!

Someone I haven't spoken to since high school is getting married today!

My sister is getting married in less than a week!

Anything else the world would like to inform me of that is great and awesome? I'm in the mood to hear it!

The good kind of musical.

2008-08-06T17:49:00.005-04:00

Here are a few scenes from one of my new favourite movies. If you haven't seen it, I am officially twisting your arm!

And these are the guys from SPINAL TAP! Apparently, when touring as Tap, they would open for themselves as The Folksmen, regularly getting booed off the stage.

The best thing about this performance is when you see the movie you realize this squeaky clean bunch consists of a runaway, a former adult movie star, a man who believes he was abused musically as a child (the last two are married and worship colour. It's a long story), and an old man who's microphone doesn't even have a cord.

Mitch and Mickey are so damn sweet... Like, they could do this for real! Playing the auto-harp is a lost art.

This is from the "television special" that was on the DVD. It's too bad they don't really focus on the amount of energy that Parker Posey is throwing out there. Again, see the movie!

See it!

Oh yeah, it's called "A Mighty Wind." Don't rent it. BUY it. It has unlimited re-watching potential.

This show is the creation of an IdeaBlast team

2008-07-30T23:32:00.002-04:00

I rented the 2nd season of "Slings & Arrows" tonight. I love this show, especially Geoffery and Ellen, especially the way Ellen is constantly apologizing. Here is a fantastic interchange.

The Rehearsal Hall

Ellen: So, I called them. They said I have to bring in ALL my receipts. Three years worth.

Frank: Crikey!

Cyril: Claim everything, dear. That's what we do. Acting is your trade. Your tools are your mind and your body. Claim everything! Makeup, skin cream, shampoo...

Frank: And every book that you read and record you play. We as actors have to be in touch with the zeitgeist.

Cyril: Oh, here she goes...

Frank: It's true, Cyril!

Cyril: The last album you bought was Frank Sinatra's "Duets."

Frank: Well that's because there were people on it I'd never heard sing before. Terrible album...

Ellen: This is disastrous! What can they do to me? Worst case scenario.

Frank: Prison?

Ellen: Aw shit!

Geoffrey: Excuse me? We're rehearsing here. Could you possibly shut the fuck up?

Ellen: Sorry. Sorry everyone. I'm being audited!

Everyone: Ooh, fuck off...

Ooohhhhhh mm YEAH YEAH! OooOOO!

2008-07-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs made me do it.

2008-07-28T19:24:00.004-04:00

The battery is dying on my iPod. It's frustrating and sad. That damn thing knows me so well. Should I get a new one altogether? Should I send it away to get a new one installed with the caveat that I pay for shipping and they're not responsible if the whole operation goes to pot.

But, as a girl I know would say, "Don't worry about it." And she seems to say it in such a way that I don't really worry about it. So there's your hopelessly conflicted inner/outer for the day.

Anyway, in honour of Meg (the iPod), here's a quiz from long long ago that she always helped me with:

How does the world see me?
Song: Leisure Suite
Artist: Feist
Comments: Laid back? Comfortable? Enterable? ew...

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Lovesong of the Buzzard
Artist: Iron & Wine
Comments: Well, I'm a buzzard... which doesn't seem particularly mirthful... but I am in love, which is positive... but I AM a buzzard...

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Eliminator Jr.
Artist: Sonic Youth
Comments: I am loud, discordant and sexually charged.

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Little Brother
Artist: Grizzly Bear
Comments: Gross...

How can I make myself happy?
Song: I Think I Have a Chance With This Guy
Artist: What's Her Face
Comments: Oh, iPod...

What should I do with my life?
Song: Sweet Dreams
Artist: Tori Amos
Comments: Study Freud?

Why is life full of so much pain?
Song: Chills
Artist: Peter, Bjorn & John
Comments: People need more sweaters!

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Candy
Artist: Iggy Pop
Comments: Mmm, so many options...

Will I ever have children?
Song: Femme Fatale
Artist: The Velvet Underground
Comments: If I meet a dangerous woman. This probably won't end well.

Will I die happy?
Song: White Unicorn
Artist: Wolfmother
Comments: I will die MAGICALLY happy.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Eau de Toilette.
Artist: Emily Haines
Comments: If I was going to see anyone today I would have showered! GET OFF MY BACK!

What is happiness?
Song: Cry Freedom
Artist: Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Comments: The end of the movie "Braveheart." Or social justice, whichever.

What is my favourite fetish?
Song: Black Cherry
Artist: Goldfrapp
Comments: See the above answer concerning "candy."

How will I be remembered?
Song: This Devil's Workday
Artist: Modest Mouse
Comments: As a complex Biblical metaphor? That's cool...

What I Currently Have on "Repeat"

2008-07-24T08:50:00.004-04:00

1. Between the Bars (Elliot Smith cover) - Emily Haines & James Shaw
"The things you could do
You won't but you might."

2. Lump Sum - Bon Iver
"Colour the era
Film, it is historical."

3. California Dreamer - Wolf Parade
"I thought I might have heard you on the radio but the radio waves are like snow."

4. Where There's a Will There's a Whalebone - Islands
"Laying low in a tropical hideout
If anyone finds out
I'll turn their lights out."

5. I Don't Want to Grow Up (Tom Waits cover) - Scarlett Johansson
"Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down."

6. Pink Bullets - The Shins
"Oh what a contrast you were
To the brutes in the halls
My timid young fingers held a decent animal."

7. Gobbleldigook - Sigur Ros
"La La lalalalalalala La La."

8. Lovely Head - Gold Frapp
"Frankenstein would want your mind
Your lovely head."

9. The Age of the Understatement - The Last Shadow Puppets
"She would throw a feather boa in the road
If she thought that it would set the scene."

10. New York Telephone Conversation - Lou Reed
"Did you hear who did what to whom, happens all the time."

11. Dramamine - Modest Mouse
"I said what I said and you know what I mean."

12. Ohio - Neil Young
"We're finally on our own."

13. Mississippi Goddamn (live) - Nina Simone
"The name of this tune is Mississippi Goddamn
And I mean every word of it."

14. Tangled Up In Blue - Bob Dylan
"And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you."

15. Chocolate Jesus - Tom Waits
"He flows like the big muddy but that's ok
Pour him over ice cream for a nice parfait."

16. Peace Beneath the City - Iron & Wine
"Give me good legs
and a Japanese car
and show me a road.”

17. At Last - The Do
"A man I can trust
Trust with my dust, oh ho."

18. Knife (Grizzly Bear cover) - CSS
"When I look into your eyes..."

19. Tiger Mountain Peasant Song - Fleet Foxes
"Dear shadow alive and well
How can the body die?"

20. I Was Made for You - She & Him
"Cause I have been waiting for a long, long time for a boy like you."

21. Down Boy - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"I'll stand for the sake of my friend
I will see him there."

22. We Put a Pearl in the Ground - St. Vincent
N/A.

23. So-so - Brooke Waggoner
"He wanted to know
how I liked Del Rio
And if the lack of snow had made it all perfecto."

24. Brown Bear - Bell
"Clouds shaped like bears are just water in air."

25. Horse & I - Bat for Lashes
"Horse and I, we're dancers in the dark."

26. I Don't Blame You - Cat Power
"They said you were the best,
But then they were only kids."

27. The Engine Driver (live acoustic) - Colin Meloy
"I'm a county lineman on a high line, such a high line
So will be my grandson."

28. Crazy (Gnarls Barkley cover, live) - The Raconteurs
"Come on now who do you, who do you who do you who do you think you are?"

29. Pull Shapes - The Pipettes
"I like to disco
I like to rock n' roll
Well I like to hip-hop."

30. Glory Box - Portishead
"I'm so tired, of playing
Playing with this bow and arrow."

31. Reckoner - Radiohead
"You were not to blame for..."

32. Pavlov's Daughter - Regina Spektor
"I hear them say my name
Regin-ah, Regin-ah, Regin-a-a-ahhhh."

33. Our Hell - Emily Haines
"We're paralyzed, we apologize
Our hell is a good life."

34. Cosmia (live) - Joanna Newsom
"Can you hear me, will you listen
Don't come near me, don't go missin'."

35. Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan
"Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled."

Andrew Goes to a Cottage!

2008-07-24T00:12:00.009-04:00

Clodhoppers of Portuguese Suede

2008-07-22T10:09:00.000-04:00

This is the prettiest song Bob Dylan has ever put to wax.

Coming Soon...

2008-07-13T10:11:00.001-04:00

Pictures from the series "Andrew Goes to a Cottage!"

Change is hard, or at least weird.

2008-07-10T12:36:00.002-04:00

How things change...

In Paris, Craiglist was the conduit through which I found 4 jobs (3 of which panned out), entertainment, and a whole mess of really awesome friends. I didn't think it would be unfair to assume that I would be able to use this same system when I got back to Peterborough, but man... ugh... Peterborough's Craigslist is nothing but a series of scams and weird older men trolling for threesomes.

How did things get this far?

...Minus the colourful sweaters

2008-07-06T20:52:00.002-04:00

This is literally what it was like trying to communicate in France (including the look of disappointment and disbelief on the people's faces followed by awkward silence).

Alright, there were a few colourful sweaters...

And I also made this list!

2008-07-04T17:00:00.003-04:00

Things I have done in the past fews days include, but are not limited to:

-Moving back home
-Said goodbye to all those I knew and met in Paris. This will assuredly be temporary because they're all awesome people and I will definitely reconnect with all of them.
-Bought my first cell phone.
-Received my first text message (From my sister Jessica) and my first phone call (From a girl named Amy who I met in Paris and knew for a period of maybe 6 hours, but is super-cool and lives in San Francisco. It was a wonderful connection, very random)
-Sent my first text message on assurance from Sam "Candleabra" Burns that it would be like watching a sunset. It was pretty awesome.
-Met a girl named after a state (thumbs up!).
-Met a guy named after an actor (thumbs down!).
-Reconnected with Liz, Evan, and Nick.
-Got two rolls of analog film developed. It's very "I have to show you in person." I'm very happy with the results.
-Unpacked some. "Spread out" is a more accurate term.
-Nearly got scammed by a nun. Ask me in person about this one.
-Bought Nora a new set of bowls.
-Downloaded music like mad. Wolf Parade, you make my knees weak.

And now I will go and have dinner!

WHY THE F"è&K AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW?!?!

2008-06-19T10:43:00.003-04:00

Radiohead fails to give away tickets
by inMusic.ca staff

The band tried to get their green message across but are soundly ignored.

Radiohead gave away 50 tickets to one of their shows in Paris, France, but only 15 people were interested, leaving 35 tickets unclaimed.

Thom Yorke and the band announced that 50 tickets were available on a first-come, first-served basis, but there was a catch. People would have to come get the tickets by bicycle. A source close to the band told the U.K. Sun, "Radiohead are using their current world tour to highlight their commitment to green issues.

"They advise all gig-goers to use public transport and are doing all they can to make their carbon footprint as small as possible.

"Unfortunately the French didn't appear to share their noble intentions and ignored the free ticket tactic." "

-----------------------------------------------------

COME ON!!!!! Damn it!!! Ride a bike for free Radiohead? Fuck!

Ew. Oh God Ew.

2008-06-17T15:54:00.002-04:00

I'm at an internet cafe, where I do most of my interneting these days, and there is an awkward situation brewing.

The guy who just sat down to the left of me smells SO BAD. I'm tearing up.

Not to mention he is having a fight with his girlfriend who is sitting three computers to the right of me. He keeps leaning over towards me to better emphasize his point.

I think I will home soon.

p.s. Nancy, have you discovered this site yet?

Labradoodle?

2008-06-06T09:47:00.000-04:00

With no steady internet, posting is intermitent.

This is really funny.

That is all for now.

Mmmmmmmmmmetric

2008-05-31T15:20:00.000-04:00

Mmmmmm new song......

*

2008-05-27T08:40:00.003-04:00

Andrew is sitting in a large Parisian apartment, installing anti-virus software on his boss's computer. It's been scanning now for over an hour and there's no indication of when it will be finished. After all, this computer has never had anti-virus software on it before. The panoramic view of the city unfolds behind him. He thinks it would have been nice to take a few pictres, but he didn't bring his camera today. Maybe next time. It's pouring down rain anyways.

Andrew isn't too sure when his boss will return from his business lunch and when this quiet solitude will end, so if this post ends abruptly

Time to get invited to some parties!

2008-05-26T04:55:00.005-04:00

In no particular order, here is a list of people who I would like to meet before I/they die.

-Leslie Feist
-Haruki Murikami
-Stephen Colbert
-Jack White
-Meg White
-Bob Dylan
-Dorothy Gambrell
-Annie Liebowitz
-Scarlett Johansson
-Tom Waits
-Shelley Duval

I wish they would all do a big group photo.

Hmm, all artists... look at that.

Only 10 more days!

2008-05-26T02:07:00.003-04:00

p.s. I'm going to see Feist.

Well, everyone else uses the internet for bitching, so why not?

2008-05-25T14:43:00.003-04:00

Le sigh...

I am nearly six months single, and for lack of a better phrase, I'm starting to feel the burn. I'll be heading back to Canada in a little over a month to live with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the support, but the prospect of telling a pretty girl "Hey, I'm 25, have no job (or marketable skills) and live with my parents" is... well, shudder inducing.

I'm reading a lot of Murikami lately, which is good and bad. Good because he is an incredibly talent writer and quickly shooting to the top of my "Who would you like to meet" list. Bad because in every single one of his books the narrator ends up having a casual sexual affair with a woman that he will likely never see again. Not that that's what I'm looking for, but it always seems so effortless. How can that sort of going-on exist when I have a hard time keeping up a conversation with a girl I think is pretty? The cold hard fact is that I don't know how to talk to girls. I get all freezy. And that's a disturbing revelation.

I was at a party a few weeks ago and nearly as soon as I got in the door, a girl was talking to me about another guy at the party that she was in to (into? in-to?). I thought it was funny because I'd only known these people for a couple of weeks, and I was already the go-to guy for girls to talk about other guys with. I mentioned this to another guy who failed to see the self-depricating humour in the situation and proceeded to give me a 20-minute lecture on how to talk to girls. Unfortunately, it was mostly things like "You've got to decide that you're more interesting than the other guys that want to talk to her" (What?! "Deciding" to be interesting involves either a lifestyle change or a significant amount of lying), and also I had been drinking and tuned out a lot. The tuning out was in direct response to phrases like this one:

"You know, I don't mean to brag but I slept with four different girls this week. That's not me being 'oh look at me,' that's just the way it is."

Oh, Tony. You Italian stalion.

Dilema. I think this might be one of the problems that just gets worse and worse. The more aware I am of it, the more awkward and silent I am sure to become! Frick on a stick with a brick!

I guess I'll just have to hold out hope for that special girl to come along and make me forget my awkwardness, like in..... all those movies. You know why that happens in the movies? Because the writer creates his/her ideal world, and in an ideal world, things like that happen every ninty minutes.

Come on, universe! Am I really supposed to be this jaded?

"Hell is other people." - JPS

2008-05-24T07:56:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday to Bob Dylan, the one guy who wouldn't put up with all this crap.

*****************************

Today's one of those days. A grey day. A day for misanthropes.

Hooray for Harvey Pekar! Hooray for Alceste! Hooray for Kilgore Trout!

Citizen Braff?

2008-05-22T15:13:00.002-04:00

Here's a topic for debate:

With "Garden State," Zach Braff created the seminal film of our generation (ie/ People born between 1980 and 1989).

I'm starting to think it's true. But maybe it's because there's finally a film with a main character named "Andrew."

Dr. Molly Clock

2008-05-16T12:01:00.001-04:00

Ironically, transcribed at an office.

2008-05-15T08:44:00.003-04:00

My fandom of The Office is well established. And, since I want to take a break from entering data, here is the funniest bit The Office has ever done (Skip ahead to 3:05, unless you're a fan of low-quality editing).

Dwight: Jim Jim Jim. Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim.

Jim: Oh. Hey, Dwight.

Dwight: I am going to be your new boss. It's my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell! Check in time is now, check out time is NEVER!

Jim: Does my room have cable?

Dwight: No. And the sheets are made of FIRE!

Jim: Can I change rooms?

Dwight: Sorry, we're all booked up. Hell Convention in town!

Jim: Can I have a late check out?

Dwight: I'll have to talk to the manager.

Jim: You're not the manager? Even in your own fantasy?

Dwight: I'm the owner. The co-owner. With Satan!

Jim: Okay. Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy you are in Hell. And you are co-running a bed-and-breakfast with the devil.

Dwight: Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet.

Jim: Go.

Dwight: Eighty thousand dollars a year!

***

I love the off-kilter, yet seemingly normal questions Jim asks (I would want to change rooms too), coupled with Dwight's unflagging commitment to his fantasy. It's brilliant.

Structure? Structure.

2008-05-13T07:46:00.002-04:00

I should not be allowed to have access to the internet at work. Seriously. If I just. type. haltingly. I can. pretend that. I am entering. data. and. thus. get paid.

I can feel my body deflating. I don't want to be here. But boy do I need the moolah, more than ever seeing as it might cost 590 - 640 euros to ship Nora home (roughly 3x the original cost). I need to measure her crate and email the people back.

How do people find a way to shut off their brain during the work day, especially if their job is as unstimulating as mine have been known to be? Maybe I'm one of the unlucky ones that needs to enjoy what they get paid to do.

I am getting itchy for a new way of life, but the work that it takes to get there is so very very dull.

Seriously though, she would look amazing in cleats...

2008-05-12T07:26:00.003-04:00

If anyone wants to know what it feels like to see Scarlett Johansson in a game of softball, why not read this interview?

Oh, Pitchfork...

Right on, Joni

2008-05-08T20:13:00.001-04:00

Damn, this whole "Regular computer has literally thousands of pieces of spyware on it and won't start, even if you paid it" thing sucks.

An omen of things to come.

2008-04-18T11:08:00.003-04:00

I know I'm doing a lot of posting videos here, but damn if this isn't some kind of something.

This is the trailer for the new Liv Tyler / Some Guy movie "The Strangers." Aside from making you never want to go to a cabin in the woods again, there's something kind of unexpected in this here trailer. Check it out and see if you notice it.

Notice that? It's right around the 1:08 time mark.

JOANNA NEWSOM'S "THE SPROUT & THE BEAN" IS BEING USED TO CREEPIFY A MOVIE TRAILER! I always knew she had a child-like voice, but I never associated it with the creepy intuitive kid who inhabits most horror films these days.

You know what this means, don't you, gentle reader? It's only a matter of time before people start saying things like "That's a real song? Hm!" Which means it's only a matter of time before I have to start claiming that I knew about her before she was super famous.

Chortle

2008-04-17T03:11:00.001-04:00

Pondering of the day

2008-04-15T16:52:00.000-04:00

What would a Radiohead Christmas album sound like?

Well, I guess I should get to work.

2008-04-15T05:29:00.000-04:00

But first:

Seen. Passed.

2008-04-06T06:19:00.001-04:00

Why do shitty movies continue to make money and spawn sequels? They're making another National Treasure movie. Larry the Cable Guy continues to release movies with just hilarious titles (Delta FARCE! Wit-LESS Protection Program), which serve little purpose other than to further Larry's masturbatory vision of himself. "Hey fellers, let's spend millions of dollars and countless man hours making me look like I saved America from the Saudi's! Hoo-WEE! Best chuck a little chicky with big knockers on the poster too, so's I don't look queer."

I don't know a single person, even the people I know who at times display questionable taste in films, who goes to this kind of movie. But they just keep on cranking them out, so SOMEONE must be partaking. The ironic thing is that they keep the production values low (thereby reducing overall quality) in order to save money so that their take after opening weekend is bigger! Crappier product = bigger profit! In any other business these jokers would have been run out of town on a rail (most likely after several years of being quietly put up with).

I'd like to organize a protest against terrible movies. Not because they're offensive or pornographic, but because they're terrible, time wasting, cultural vacuums. I read about a small independently owned theatre in the States that, rather than showing "Scary Movie 4" or "Wolf Creek," closed it's doors. The owner said something to the effect of "We'll open up again when something worth watching comes out." That's the kind of attitude of which I want to see more, more, MORE!

The film series that triggered this outburst is the ridiculously disgusting Saw franchise. I was coaxed into watching it because I was led to believe that behind all the grimy bathroom walls and foot-sawing-off, there was some kind of message (ie/ Be glad you're alive, gosh darn it!) I was also told that it "Messes with your mind!"

Bologna.

I've watched three of the four films so far, mainly out of morbid curiosity which, I assume is why most people see them in the first place. The first film operates almost solely on that basis. It's certainly not relying on the acting or direction, both of which take giant strides into Goofy territory. The psychology behind the second movie seemed to be "Let's do it again, but with more money!" Because that's all that it was. The third movie had probably the same budget as the second, but upped the "eww" factor by adding more sickly gadgets and gruesome special effects. Common sense fell by the wayside.

The problem with centering a series of films around an antagonist confronting a rotating cast of protagonists is staggering (that is, if you're trying to make "sense"). Maybe I'm old fashioned, but isn't the protagonist supposed to draw on her/his inner well of strength to overcome her/his foe, ending up triumphant but fundamentally changed by what (s)he's encountered? When your antagonist is always triumphant and, more to the point, foundationally unchanging you run into some problems.

Jigsaw assumes the role of the giver of tough love, an instructor in the value of life. He constantly preaches that he is not the bad guy, but his victims are, for not appreciating their lives (this whispy filament of a cause he has latched onto). In fact he eschews the label of "murderer," even going so far as to say that he "hates murderers more than anything." I wonder how much the writers know about the judicial system, because I'm pretty sure these death mazes constitute Murder One, and you'd be hard pressed to find a sentimental jury willing to absolve guilt based on a technicality. "Well, y'see your honour, I may have put the fat guy into the razor wire maze(note: for the crime of cutting himself) and then told him that he would be locked in there forever if he didn't get through it, but it's not like I actually pushed him into it." "Agreed! Off you go!" "Oh, did I mention that I have cancer? That's pretty rough." "You poor man! I will morally disassociate you with this whole ugly mess!" Vomit.

But I suppose it's a waste of time to analyze characters who have no depth or complexity (Example: At the end of the 3rd movie when Jigsaw tells the guy who has just been through one of these death mazes, and whose wife he has forcibly held at pseudo-gunpoint that he can either take his vengeance or he can "forgive him." Why on Earth or Hell would you forgive someone who does not seek forgiveness. Jigsaw doesn't ask for or beg for forgiveness, he demands it. You can't forgive someone who does not change).UPDATE: I was recently put through the 4th movie which attempts to add some sort of back story to the character, and that was even more irritating.

While watching the 3rd (and most needlessly graphic) installment, I was almost physically ill. I could feel the blood draining from my head and had to go to the washroom to sit with my head between my legs for a few minutes. Even thinking about it now is making me a little light headed. I don't mind being made to feel that way if it's for a reason. This clearly was not. Apparently, there wasn't even a way for the guy to get out of his ridiculous twist-o-matic contraption! THERE WAS NO POINT. And then they throw in some crap about "cherishing your life" to try to justify it all. When will they realize that there is a HUGE difference between being shocking and saying something significant.

Well, I could go on forever and a day about how terrible these movie are (they're making a 5th one now! AG! WHY?!) but I think I want to comment on something larger. These movies are in a way... Christian (in basically all the bad ways). There is a certain bombastic "be good or else" logic to them which syncs up with some of the more fundamentalist religions. Picture Jigsaw as God, constantly testing his victims like Job, and maybe they'll live and maybe they'll die but (according to the psychology of these movies) they'll be indebted to him, follow him, love him. In the fourth movie Jigsaw kills 3 (maybe 4, maybe more, I can't keep track) to "save" a police officer from the obsession of wanting to save everyone. Isn't wanting to help people a good thing? And somehow he gains a bunch of new accomplices, thus ensuring the franchise will keep going and going and going... I just thought it was funny too that the horrible gruesome killing at the end of the 3rd movie contains some pretty explicit "Jesus on the cross" imagery and philosophy. That guy died so that whatshisname could forgive and be forgiven... bleagh. This mix is so soupy and messy that you can probably find a few unintentional connections in there.

Anyone else see that documentary "This Film is Not Yet Rated"? If not, it basically exposes the arbitrary and hypocritical film rating system in America. One of the major points made is how much easier the rating system is on violence as opposed to sex (for added interest/hilarity, see Maria Bello defend her pubic hair.) It only underlines the outrage that kids (with a parent) can see a man's shin bones get splintered and his head mechanically twisted ALL THE WAY AROUND, but less than one second of pubic hair spells the commercial death penalty.

Well, my spleen feels vented.

No Tonto Tonight

2008-04-01T12:50:00.002-04:00

I don't know why, but I've been really identifying with this comic lately.

Come on, that's hilarious, not to mention exactly what you'd say out loud after spending a day alone.

***************************

Stay tuned for an ire fueled rant against a certain movie franchise!

Happy Birthday Liz!

2008-03-31T05:44:00.004-04:00

In honour of Liz Buchanan's 25th bee-day, here are some videos! Have a good one Liz!

I wanted to include a Maple Leaf's video, but I literally could not find one that glorified them. I'm sorry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Listening Party!

2008-03-26T21:39:00.003-04:00

I need to get the taste of a terrible, terrible movie out of my mouth (stay tuned for THAT rant some time in the near future), so let's do a play by play of the shiny new Raconteurs album, and then have a little rant about Jack White.

Consolers of the Lonely by The Raconteurs

Pre-listening thoughts:

Hey! This album was only announced a week ago! That's pretty decent delivery! And there is no press, advance videos, acoustic singles, or other assorted marketing madness that there was in the zeitgeist that was the first Raconteurs album, Broken Boy Soldiers. How curious! Pitchfork made a good point about the Soldiers, saying that essentially, if this album hadn't been hyped as "Jack White's New Band" then the album itself wouldn't have made it onto many shelves. I believe the press release which states that this blitzkrieg release will allow you to experience the album carte blanche, but I am also recalling the stories of those horrible movies that aren't screened for critics in hopes of avoiding terrible reviews. Time will tell on this one.

Check out that cover art!

Looks like the 70's if you ask me, just in the same way that the art for Icky Thump did. Why are they dressed in period costumes, but still holding electrified instruments? Will the album deal with the theme of old meeting new, as is the case with pretty much every album the White Stripes have put out? And just who is that girl with the birds? And that blindfolded woman?

And the title: Consolers of the Lonely. I don't know why, but I keep thinking of "concierge." I can't find it anywhere, but doesn't Consoler have another meaning? I hope so, because if not, the title is kind of bland. Broken Boy Soldiers was an interesting and memorable spin, but this is just kind of flat. Strangely, both albums feature plural titles (ie/ "Consolers," "Soldiers") and related singular tracks ("Consoler," "Soldier"). Coinkidink? We'll see! Let's cue this bitch up!

Track One: "Consoler of the Lonely"

Hey, it's a casual gathering! Oh wait, there are musicians playing. Did someone just say "ha ha haha?" It seems like Brendan is singing as a normal guy and then Jack comes in as his twisted side. The hook is "I'm bored to tears." I hope this doesn't become an overall theme. The bridge appears to be trying out for the next Guitar Hero. Oh, wait, that's it. It's over. Ok, moving on!

Track Two: "Salute Your Solution"

"Yeah! Alright!" I worry that I'm being forced into enthusiasm, though it is a pretty good riff. Alright, head bobbing now... This is a summer song, a driving song that you and your friends learn the words to and shout at passers-by. Why is it out in dreary old March? More Guitar Hero stuff.

Track Three: "You Don't Understand Me"

Saloon! There's kind of a Bob Dylan piano riff going on. Why am I thinking of Our Lady Peace? Man, these Raconteurs love their back-up vocals! I wish I liked them as much as they did... This song doesn't seem to have much of a melody, or if it does it's not immediate or very catchy... Cool piano breakdown... strange, but interesting piano ending

Track Four: "Old Enough"

VIOLIN?! This is full blown country. Which one of them plays violin? Damn you digital purchasing, I have no way of finding out! Nice harmonies. Ooo! Guitar harmonies as well! Was that a gunshot? Where'd that acoustic come from? This is pretty maximalist. And it all ends in twiddling.

Track Five: "The Switch and the Spur"

Nice opening riff! Hey! Trumpets! Did they use the same guy from the Mexican restaurant? Sounds like the soundtrack to a Western film, very triumphant. Lyrically, it follows that as well (Someone got a snakebite!). Something's happening... A breakdown! buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh... Jack's "all-over-the-place" soloing... This sounds like the Raconteurs answer to gangster rappers saying "You don't mess with us!" but done as a country song.

Track Six: "Hold Up"

HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP! Some nice twiddling at the beginning... lots of talking in the background on this record so far... Oh, there's a pun on Hold up vs holed up, I see... wah-wah pedal? What's up with the party going on in the background? Turn up the ROCK! This will be the one that the audience sings along to. Quite a hook there...

Track Seven: "Top Yourself"

Wow, that's a pretty cold sentiment, Jack... banjo? what? Some nice slide guitar sounds. Religious imagery? Kind of... "Sugar daddy?" Oh Jack... This sounds kind of Rolling Stones-y... Geez, this is an ANGRY song! I'm digging the percussion. More crappy back-up vocals... and fade out on a piano.

*****************************
First Half Impressions
*****************************

So far, not bad. A lot of interesting sonic stuff going on, and they have REALLY expanded their musical pallet with extra instruments and lots of overdubs. They are making full use of the modern studio set-up, but I wonder if that's a good thing. Their previous album was recorded in an attic if I'm not mistaken, and that lent it a kind of rugged authenticity. A lot of this sound really... washed out. Maybe "glossed over" is a better term? It feels shiny. A little too shiny. One of the things that I've struggled with regarding Broken Boy Soldiers was all the noodling around at the beginning of the songs. On one hand, it's kind of pointless. On the other, it adds a vibe of "We're just hanging out in our attic and this is what happened," which, again, adds to that indefinable "indie" quality of the whole project. This album has had only one episode of noodling so far, but there is a lot (a LOT) of voices in the background. Like at the beginning of a Pink Floyd song, but faster and layered over each other. Odd. There doesn't seem to be too much of a point to it. If the album is about consoling the lonely, why are there so many people around? Is that what lonely people want? Insta-Party? Basically, no one sounds lonely, and no one sounds like they're reaching out to them. They're just kind of milling about.

Ok, on to the second half!

Track Eight: "Many Shades of Black"

Nice chord based riff. And there's that trumpet again. This sounds like a Rilo Kiley song. That trumpet is really prevalent. It kind of sounds like this song could be on a compilation of Christmas favourites or something... something that could be covered, but in a much simpler arrangement, like by The Ramones.... Is that guitar playing up so high just because it's possible? I like the interplay of the piano and guitar. It ends with the words "Go ahead..." why?

Track Nine: "5 on the 5"

YES! I have been waiting for this song having heard it in a live format. It's nice to be able to understand the lyrics (which are pretty solid). Is this a cover? Damn you, lack of liner notes! Where'd that cowbell come from? This sounds Zeppelin-y in it's breakdown. I love the bringin' it home section at the end.

Track Ten: "Attention"

Nice bass riff! About time! Lyrically, didn't we already do this with "Top Yourself?" More cool sonic stuff. Is that a little girl shouting? I think it is! ...Electric duck call? That's a lot of yelling "hey" to no particular effect.

Track Eleven: "Pull This Blanket Off"

More saloon piano. Kind of a drunken sing a long ballad, reminiscent of a livelier "White Moon" from Get Behind Me Satan. Oh, that's it! OK, moving on...

Track Twelve: "Rich Kid Blues"

Nice title. Sounds like the Eagles. This has an indefinable arena rock quality, but more the kind of music you hear when you're waiting in line for popcorn before the hockey game starts. Like the kind of music that's played in an arena, not that rocks an arena. Is this song making fun of rich kids?

Track Thirteen: "These Stones Will Shout"

This really sounds like the Rolling Stones. Is it a tribute? I've got nothing... this just keeps sounding like the Stones.... wow, BAM! There are the Raconteurs, kind of... a repetitive riff, lots of vocals.... And there are the Stones again... Was that a drum stutter? Like a real mistake? That would be refreshing as the drums have been fairly uninteresting so far, so even a mistake adds character.

Track Fourteen: "Carolina Drama"

This sounds like Bob Dylan's "Isis" married to The Beatles "Rocky Raccoon," which is odd, because it's one of Dylan's best songs coupled with one of the Beatles worst. More female backing vocals! Who's doing those? Not a bad tune, overall. Just doesn't sound specifically Raconteur-y. And it ends with a "WwwwoooOOWWWWWooowwwwwwWWWWW."

******************************
Round-Up
******************************

This is a hard one to call. Overall, disappointingly average. I think I understand the cover art now, if they were in fact going for an old-meets-new vibe, they sort of succeeded, though it's more accurate to say it's new-meets-old. They're putting Jack White's signature, and decidedly modern, guitar sound as well as all manner of synths into formats from 30+ years ago, and the fit isn't always snug. The drums, as mentioned above are pretty toned down, especially knowing what Patrick Keeler is capable of. He's a crazy good drummer! So why can't I remember a single thing he's done on this album? Also, it's very obvious that all of the bass riffs were written on guitar. That in and of itself is not such a bad thing, but the guitar plays the exact same riff louder and sharper, drowning out the bass, so what's the point?

Lyrically it's hard to comment, mainly because it's hard to type and pick out lyrics at the same time, but nothing is reaching out and grabbing me. I'll have to give it another listen to get what the boys are trying to say, thematically that is.

It's surprising the level that they took the arrangements to. It's as though they added one thing to a particular track and then said "Yeah, that's great! Let's put that on EVERYTHING!" It was just... too much at times. Sound and fury...

So I don't know... my rating out of ten is a 6.5, and I feel that some people will be harsher. Sigh. It's too bad.

***********************
JACK WHITE RANT
***********************

I think I'm suffering from over-exposure. I'm glad that Jack is enjoying success, but he seems to be spreading himself thin. The lyrics and the way that the music supports them seem to be lacking something lately. In fact, since hearing "White Americans, what? Nothing better to do? Why don't you kick yourself out? You're an immigrant too!" from Icky Thump, I thought that he was going at things too directly. Maybe not directly, but not in an interesting way.

Compare these lyrics from "I Want to Be The Boy to Warm Your Mother's Heart" from Elephant:

I never said I was the heir to a fortune
I never claimed to have any looks
But these kind of things must be important
Because somebody ripped out my page in your telephone book

That sort of lyric conveys so many more things about a person than the above example. It's specific, yet heartfelt whereas the "Icky Thump" lyric is a general statement (I've heard many people make the "You're an immigrant too" argument before), and pointed. But pointed at who? There is no warmth in that remark, and it's too vague to be a rallying cry. There's simply something missing.

I've often thought about what question would I ask Jack White if I got a chance to meet him. I think it would be this: "With such a hurried recording process, and seeing as you have made changes in the past to how songs are played live, do you ever worry that you're not exploring all the possibilities or potential for a song?" I think the question still applies, but I think I might tailor it differently now. More specifically, I'd like to know how much time and care goes into these songs, because they feel pretty empty.

Get Behind Me Satan started a trend for Jack in which he was going to do what he damn well pleased. He's always said that he likes to set up lots of rules for his recording (the famous rule of 3), and he made three great albums following those rules (The White Stripes, De Stijl, White Blood Cells). And then he started breaking those rules on Elephant to great success. So with Satan, he just plain old threw the rulebook away! Good on him, there's no harm in experimentation. Start a four-piece, add a marimba, do what you've got to do!

But now he's recording in major studios, and his latest album is hollow and forgettable. He's essentially falling into the trap that he avoided all those years by following "the rules." Maybe it's freeing to finally have a million tracks to play with, to be able to say "Let's add some more instrument X here," but the product speaks for itself. It's not great. I hate to bail on my super-fandom, but this last album just isn't doing it for me. Frankly, Icky Thump was ok, but it wasn't all that much to write home about either.

I'm not giving up on Jack, but I just wish he'd store up his creativity for a while until he was compelled to create something, rather than just having fun or goofing around. He's got "the power" now to pretty much do whatever he wants, which is kind of what he was avoiding, isn't it? I'll just hope that he moves back into the living room, hooks up the old eight track again, tells Beck that he won't need him today, and gets Meg a-bashing away on that old kit in 4/4 time.

The Quins

2008-03-23T09:10:00.005-04:00

Here's a mess of pictures and a video from the Tegan & Sara show on March 19th!

I don't have the full set list, but some highlights included So Jealous, Living Room, Walking With a Ghost, Call It Off, Speak Slow, The Con, & Nineteen. Non-song highlights included the "Bum Skin" talk (in the video below), Sara breaking up a fight, The Hysterical Fan, Tegan's VIP section not wanting to touch her, and Ted's lengthy introduction.

Openers, "Northern State."

Northern State's Hesta Prynne

Oh yeah, and we got a bottle of water from Ted, the guitar player!

This is really, really impressive

2008-03-22T14:35:00.000-04:00

The VFS/YT WMTM Challenge!

2008-03-21T14:49:00.002-04:00

The Vancouver Film School and YouTube are holding a scholarship challenge. You can submit a 3 minute video and if it gets selected as one of the 10 finalists, it gets voted on by members of the YouTube "community." The top 3 videos get FULL EFFING SCHOLARSHIPS TO A PROGRAM OF YOUR CHOICE AT VFS.

The videos need to be on the theme of "What Matters to Me." I wish this was not the theme.

It's like the "What I did this summer" papers you had to write in school! I immediately freeze! Not only that, but how do I condense what matters to me into less than 3 minutes? I guess that's the challenge.

I am open to suggestions as to what matters to me!

Don't "Axe" Me! WHA HA HA!

2008-03-20T12:44:00.003-04:00

I'm watching a French slasher film call "High Tension," which is driving home the point that, while French films are generally thought of as deep, thought provoking, romantic or whimsical, they are just as capable of delivering something every bit as insipid as "Saw."

Well, maybe not AS insipid. "Saw" was pretty terrible.

Here's the pitch: A French, Brendan Gleason-ish type jumpsuit man murders the fuck out a pleasant French family, leaving only their daughter's house guest (who possesses an uncanny knowledge of what a serial killer would look for when entering a farmhouse) alive.

To be fair, it is pretty tense at times. But when you think about what is causing the tension, it all evaporates. Also, the subtitles are taking a lot away from it. For example, putting subtitles like "Marie! Where did you run off to?" when the characters is clearly just yelling "Marie! Marie! MARIE!" is taking just a few too many liberties with translation.

The killing is coming off a little gratuitous, though I suppose this IS a slasher flick... but it's much more impacting when you have a relationship with the slash/hackee. These characters don't live long enough to become developed. Is there such a thing as character-infanticide?

You see? This movie is educational! I did NOT know that you can hold your breath, in circumstances of extreme physical and emotional stress no less, for over two minutes!

The protagonist won't stop smiling! Something terrible is going to pop out of the last stall in this seedy rest station bathroom! (I was totally wrong! Oh snap!)

Lesson learned: Hanging up on the State Police (which for some reason exists in France) is a good idea, providing that they sass you first.

Wait a second... the protagonist is a modern woman who doesn't own a cell phone and still kicks ass! I think I found a role model for Jenny!

It is also entirely possible to safely drive down an unpaved country road with no headlights on. Wait! Why does that French car have the Confederate flag on the rear license plate?

Another lesson: Major arterial wounds are best staunched with an old rag you found in a serial killer's greenhouse.

Having a flashlight shone directly on your face in the dark forest does not necessarily mean that the killer has seen you. On a related note, having plastic held over your mouth for upwards of a minute will not make you lose consciousness.

How did he know she was a lesbian?

French "State" police don't find it suspicious when a gas station door is unlocked in the middle of the night. Is the standard procedure when finding an axe murdered body to "Call the DA"? And I seriously doubt any self respecting French person has ever used the phrase "We got ourselves a homicide."

Wait... what?

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That is WAY better than a chainsaw!

I'll come back for the last ten minutes later.

Where are my friends tonight?

2008-03-18T13:17:00.002-04:00

Wow, this quality is just terrible.