Time waster, time waster, we see you!

1. If you woke up tomorrow morning and you were the opposite gender, what would be the first thing you'd do?

What a way to start... Probably something dirty.

2. If you could be invisible for a whole day, what would you do?

Spend a lot of time explaining it to people.

3. If you could completely get rid of one fashion trend that you personally don't like, what would it be?

New clothes that are made to look old. JUST BUY SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY OLD! That, or hip-hugger jeans. They look good if you've got hips to hug. Otherwise you're just begging to look like a plumber.

4. If you could dye your hair ANY colour, what colour would you choose?

Octarine.

5. If you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose and why?

Uma Thurman. I want Quentin Tarantino to write movies for ME!

6. If you could spend one hour with ANYONE, (alive or dead) who would it be, and why?

Adolf Hitler. Maybe so I could smack him, maybe so I could pick his brain, see what made him tick.

7. If you won a million dollars in the lottery, what would you do with the money?

Well first, I'd give half of it to the government.... sigh... then get rid of all my debt, and probably go see the White Stripes in concert with my gal.

8. If you could tell one person ANYTHING, what would it be, and who would it be?

I would tell Ben Mulroony that his days are numbered because I'm coming after him.

9. If you saw your favourite celebrity in the street, what would be your first reaction?

"Oh crap... should I say something? What can I say that won't seem really 'omigod!'? I'll probably never get this chance again. Shit, I don't have a camera, or anything for them to sign. OK, well I need to seize this opportunity." And then I realize that they're now ten blocks away.

10. If you could change your first name to anything you wanted, what would you change it to?

God.

11. What's one feature of your appearance that you absolutely like?

My pinky fingers are all screwed up and cute.

12. If you were told today that you had only a month to live, what would be all the things you would do, or say before you died?

Things which would have put me in compromising social positions had I been around to have to deal with them. If you really want to know, call me up and ask me.

13. If you could change any part of your appearance, what would it be?

Selected electrolysis

14. If you had your own line of cosmetics, what would you call it, and what kind of products would you make?

Make-up that depending on how nice a person you are makes you look more or less attractive. It'd be called "This is too expensive. Stop wasting your money." And the proceeds would go to charities of Luke and Erica's choosing.

15. If you had your own line of underwear, how would you design it?

I'd imagine it would be designed on paper with some sort of drafting pencil. Possibly self cleaning.

16. If you could have one super power, what would it be?

Telekinesis, aka the ability to move things with your mind. Despite making me lazy because I wouldn't have to stand up to get things, I could pick myself up and get flight built in.

17. If you had the choice would you rather be Marilyn Monroe for a day,or Madonna?

Well, Marilyn's dead and Madonna freaks me out... so.... Maridonna?

18. Do you believe your dreams have significance?

No, not really.

19. Total number of films I own on DVD/video --

Good god, a lot.

20. The last film I bought

Mystery Science Theatre Shorts: Vol. 2

21. Last film I watched at home -

Aliens.... groan...

22. Six films I watch a lot or mean a lot to me

In no particular order-

1) The Royal Tennenbaums - Written by Wes Andrson & Owen Wilson, Directed by Wes Andrson

2) Amelie - Written & Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet

3) Adaptation - Written by Charlie Kaufman, Directed by Spike Jonze

4) Closer - Written by Patrick Marber, Directed by Mike Nichols

5) Magnolia - Written & Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

6) Almost Famous - Written & Directed by Cameron Crowe

Ok, back to pretending to work.