"E" words....

I've finished and handed in my final essay of the term, and it's about 2 hours and 10 minutes until my first of two exams. I've lost control of the project. My mind refuses to care. My notes reveal nothing about course content. In fact my entire set of notes from "Wide Sargasso Sea" is just an apology to myself for not taking notes. I wonder if I thought I would find it funny. I've got just about zero idea what this exam will cover. I know the structure, but based on that all the preparation I can make is to know the entire course by heart. Damn shit hell-fuck.

I got my first sword fighting lesson for Hamlet yesterday. A genie taught me. He gave the most horrific description of what it feels like to be stabbed that I could vomit at any moment. I doubt my ability to remember everything he said, mainly because we ran through everything once and then he would say "And now that you know how to lunge, we're going to learn how to parry." Confusion sets in and my brain buzzes. The satisfaction of killing Michael Emond gives way to wondering if I'm killing him in the right position. One of the main things to do is supress the natural instinct to keep a three foot blade as far away from my face as possible.

I need to get in shape. I don't know the best way to do this. I've set myself up with some music for warming up to, and tried it out once to see if it would work. It worked better than I had expected. I'm setting myself up with a warm-up schedule, so I should be able to set up a "getting in shape" schedule. I don't want to be a paunchy, shlumpy Hamlet. The music selected is as follows:

1) Untitled #1 - Sigur Ros from the album ( ) <----for relaxation
2) Svefn-g-englar - Sigur Ros from the album Ágætis Byrjun <-----also for relaxation
3) He Lied About Death - Star from the album Set Yourself on Fire <----to start me thinking about death and to get energized.

Following this, I need to run through the swordplay as many times as possible, all the while running through my lines. I expect this will all take about 1/2 an hour to 45 minutes. Finally I'll have something to do in those two hours between call and show rather than sit and fret over some inarticulate feeling of unease. Remember Dolly Barrow!

I also need a hair cut. That is another project I have lost control of. The damn stuff just does what it pleases, and what it pleases is mostly what makes me look like a vagbond. I have definately lost control of the project. I'm getting it cut short, so that in time for the show it will be the length it is now, but I'll have been working with it for three months so it'll do what I say. I hope this doesn't freak Ian out. Persnaps I'll send him an email about it.

Blah. Exam time. HULK SMASH! Just saying that horrid "e" word drains me of the will to carry on. Remind me to tell you the tragic tale of Andrew's Essay at some point.