Letter to the Editor

Dear New Year's Eve,

Get off my back already. I've never really liked you, New Year's Eve. You always force everyone and their dog to have a party, because "That's what you do on New Year's Eve," and it completely stretches me thin every year. "Oh, you could come by my party for a while if you've got other places to go," they say, and they're right. I could. But I don't ever feel particularly inclined to visit 7 different places on a night when I'm supposed to be drunk off my ass. Why do you make people do this, New Year's Eve? Did Dick Clark put you up to it? Because 7 seperate parties means seven seperate tv's tuned into Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve? Which means 7 Neilson points instead of just one? Dang it New Year's Eve! You can't give in to peer pressure like that! And by the way, 7 seperate tv's tuned into Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve also means 7 seperate groups of people who realize instantly that Hilary Duff hasn't memorized her lines, as well as wonder why exactly they gave that girl from the Bangles a bass if she wasn't going to play it! Shape up, New Year's Eve, or we shall have words again next year.

Sincerely,
Sleepy and Surly in Sudbury.