Flu germs fuelled this post.

This is me saying "Hi world. Not feeling too shit hot today." Plus everyone else seems to be able to post pictures of themselves and have it be no big deal. I'm sick today. I get to have the night off from work. I plan on sleeping a lot and possibly watching a movie.

This is a multi-pat post. Here is the first:

My dear friend (and lurker) Alison McLaren's little sister (although "little" is just a figure of speech. That girl is TALL) emailed me out of the blue and asked if I would write her a monologue about (of all things) opposable thumbs. So here's what I sent her:

Holding onto the bottom of sandwiches. And doorknobs. The round kind. But those can be replaced. Y'know, with the handle kind, or the bar kind. That kind you wouldn't need to use them. Thumbs, that is. Holding onto the bottom of sandwiches is the only conceivable use for thumbs. I hear all the time about how amazing it is that humans have evolved to have opposable thumbs, but when you really think about it, I mean sit right down in your livingroom and think about it, you'll find that we don't use our thumbs very often. If you're being honest with yourself, I think you'll find I'm right. "The human thumb is fully opposable to the tips of the other fingers in that it may position itself, and be folded inward, toward the rest of the hand and fingers, if so required." IF SO REQUIRED. And that's from the dictionary. So you can take that to the bank or wherever you go. I personally try to use my thumbs as little as possible. It's not because I can't, so don't get me wrong and let me stop your train of thinking right there. I know, I know you'll say that comment came right out of nowhere and that I had no reason to assume you were thinking I wasn't thumb-capable. Well, you're wrong. I get that a lot from the pro-thumbers. They're really reactionary. I think they feel threatened that someone is FINALLY telling people the truth! And the truth is, of course, that in a world without thumbs, only the deli business would suffer. You know, because of the sandwiches.

I hope she gets an "A" and recommends me to all her friends.

Part Two:

These kids are pretty good. In fact, this is the most competent cover of a song that has no business being covered in the first place that I've heard so far! Look at how little the bass player is!



I'm not sure, but I think he says "heck" instead of "hell."

Part 3:

Kayla Turpin and I hosted Luke's Radio show last even' to wild sucess. Kayla "surched" the CKLU library for songs/CD's/singers named Luke and came across "Uncle Luke." His CD is entitled "Somethng Nasty." We played the song "Roll Wit Luke." It was.... well, we're just lucky that Luke didn't race to the studio and perform ritual sacrifice on us. I was going to say "castrate" but I don't think it's possible to castrate girls. Is it? I don't know. Either way, it seems that Uncle Luke is in fact Luther Campbell formally of 2 Live Crew, also known as Luke Skyywalker (once parodied on SNL by Chris Rock: "But man, I don't HAVE any talent! Man, tell 'em." Sting (as Billy Idol): "Yeah, it's true. He sucks.") Uncle Luke sure is confident.



But then we played a song by this man by way of apology.



Part 4:

This is a reaction to the below post of Joanna Newsom's "The Sprout and the Bean."

Angelo says:
this is just to say that i love joanna newsom

Andrew - "When I get cold I'll throw a nightmare on the fire and roll wit' Luke" says:
Have you heard her new album?

Angelo says:
i have!

Andrew - "When I get cold I'll throw a nightmare on the fire and roll wit' Luke" says:
I just bought it yesterday!

Angelo says:
Emily plays in my head throughout the head

Angelo says:
...

Angelo says:


Angelo says:
day

Angelo says:
throughout the day!

Angelo says:
oh boy

Angelo says:
this is as bad as when i said "salami" instead of "somali"

Which brings us to the lyric of the moment:

and the little white dove
made with love, made with love:
made with glue, and a glove, and some pliers

from "Sawdust and Diamonds" by Joanna Newsom