You've always got time for blasphemy

I was just thinking about the story of Abraham and Isaac and I realizd what a twisted fucker that God is. I love the angel in this painting. It's like he's saying "Whoa! WHOA!(S)He was just kidding! Heh heh.. You weren't actually going to do it, were you? Jesus.... heh heh... you people."

I can't help but think of God as a little (albiet all-powerful) kid who pouts when (s)he doesn't get her/his way. I hear a lot of talk about God's great love, but it only seems to appear in hindsight.

"Hey, a baby's laughing! That must be God's great love!"

"Hey, that guy renounced his prejudiced ways! That must be God's great love!"

"Hey, Angelina Jolie took in another orphan! That must be God's great love!"

I think the thing that set me down this path was a philosophy class in high school. We were discussing the idea of free will in relation to God's omniscience. If God knows Everything, then (s)he knows what I'm going to do before I do it, thus throwing the idea of free will out the window. If someone knows what I'm going to do before I do, and that someone just happens to be all-powerful then I don't have much choice in the matter. The church's explanation of this was that God exists outside of time.

"Oh... well... that solves everything, doesn't it?"

"Yeah... yeah, that'll do nicely."

"Ok, so now God exists outside of time."

"Yeah, and hey! How about we burn alive anyone who says different!"

"You know, I think you're onto something there."

It was all so convenient, like when you're playing G.I. Joe's with some kid and you say "Bang! I shot you" and he says "No you didn't!" and you say "Yes I did. I shot you right in the face." and he says "Yeah, but I'm wearing an invisible helmet that's bulletproof." and you sigh resignedly, even though you're only seven years old.

Ever since then I've been leery at best about the nature of God. Like for instance, what is all this Hell business? In the dictionary, Hell is listed as being "the place of eternal punishment for the wicked after death." Eternal punishment? What the Hell's the point of that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole point of punishment so that you won't do something again? When I was a kid I broke an oil lamp playing catch in the house. I was lucky it wasn't lit or the house would have burned down. My mom sent me to my room, and I forfieted a bit of my allowance to help pay for a new lamp. I didn't play catch in the house again. But if I was still in my room, still shelling out for a new lamp I kind of doubt that I would feel remorse. Rather I'm fairly certain I would feel bitterness and contempt. You are punished so that you can learn from your mistakes and not make them again. But eternal punishment doesn't give you that option.

And what's so great about Heaven anyway? According to John Entwhistle, Heaven is "on top of the sky... a place where you go if you've done nothing wrong." It's also supposd to be a place where you can be with God for all eternity. I don't know, it just doesn't seem too convincing. Sorry, God fans. I don't buy it. I haven't yet heard a convincing argument for why I should try to get into Heaven. I've heard loud and passionate arguments, but nothing that's resonated.

I think religion shouldn't be viewed as law. It should be in the format of "This is a good way to lead your life. You might want to try it" instead of "If you don't make the appropiate changes to your lifestyle immediately you will spend eternity in painful, ironic agony!"


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