Well, everyone else uses the internet for bitching, so why not?
Le sigh...
I am nearly six months single, and for lack of a better phrase, I'm starting to feel the burn. I'll be heading back to Canada in a little over a month to live with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the support, but the prospect of telling a pretty girl "Hey, I'm 25, have no job (or marketable skills) and live with my parents" is... well, shudder inducing.
I'm reading a lot of Murikami lately, which is good and bad. Good because he is an incredibly talent writer and quickly shooting to the top of my "Who would you like to meet" list. Bad because in every single one of his books the narrator ends up having a casual sexual affair with a woman that he will likely never see again. Not that that's what I'm looking for, but it always seems so effortless. How can that sort of going-on exist when I have a hard time keeping up a conversation with a girl I think is pretty? The cold hard fact is that I don't know how to talk to girls. I get all freezy. And that's a disturbing revelation.
I was at a party a few weeks ago and nearly as soon as I got in the door, a girl was talking to me about another guy at the party that she was in to (into? in-to?). I thought it was funny because I'd only known these people for a couple of weeks, and I was already the go-to guy for girls to talk about other guys with. I mentioned this to another guy who failed to see the self-depricating humour in the situation and proceeded to give me a 20-minute lecture on how to talk to girls. Unfortunately, it was mostly things like "You've got to decide that you're more interesting than the other guys that want to talk to her" (What?! "Deciding" to be interesting involves either a lifestyle change or a significant amount of lying), and also I had been drinking and tuned out a lot. The tuning out was in direct response to phrases like this one:
"You know, I don't mean to brag but I slept with four different girls this week. That's not me being 'oh look at me,' that's just the way it is."
Oh, Tony. You Italian stalion.
Dilema. I think this might be one of the problems that just gets worse and worse. The more aware I am of it, the more awkward and silent I am sure to become! Frick on a stick with a brick!
I guess I'll just have to hold out hope for that special girl to come along and make me forget my awkwardness, like in..... all those movies. You know why that happens in the movies? Because the writer creates his/her ideal world, and in an ideal world, things like that happen every ninty minutes.
Come on, universe! Am I really supposed to be this jaded?
posted by Phinneas Q Jacksmith @ 2:43 p.m.
3 comments
3 Comments:
"I was at a party a few weeks ago and nearly as soon as I got in the door, a girl was talking to me about another guy at the party that she was in to (into? in-to?). I thought it was funny because I'd only known these people for a couple of weeks, and I was already the go-to guy for girls to talk about other guys with."
I hear ya. Let's get drunk and cry awhile!
Hey Rooty McRooster (wow, that's not at all lame),
I love, love, love Murakami! Although i've only read 3 of his books so far hehe. Those random and seemingly effortless hook-ups can be quite raunchy! Whenever I read such erotic passages, i always think how i could never start getting it on with someone in such a random matter! I'd be much too self-conscious. It's always the characters who who don't have to put in an ounce of effort who end up getting laid the most. but i know that's not what you're after. 6 months is nothing to write home about - i was single for nearly 2 years before my current relationship started up.. and i suspect i will be single for several years should my current boytoy (i use that term loosely - boytoy of 2 years hehe)break up. I think after a serious and long-term relationship, 6 months is a healthy amount of time to wait before entertaining thoughts of entering into a another relationship. I hate myself everytime i use this cliche but it's absolutely true - you always find someone when you're not looking!
Nothing wrong with living with your folks at 25! read an article the other day about our generation and how many of us move back in with our parents after graduating or falling on hard times - it makes alot of sense. my boyfriend was 27 and living with his parents when we began dating. If i were to move back to canada i'd be back at home taking advantage of free rent, food, etc..
Anyway, i'm rambling and you don't even know who this is! bwahaha
Well at least your not that Murakami character that goes crazy and lives in the snow covered mountains eating flowers.
I'll sleep with you? When are you leaving paris?
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