The real "Fantasy" was that anyone would like this...

Damn it.

Metric is one of my favourite Canadian bands (which puts them high on the list of favourite bands overall), and I'm in a lot of love with Emily Haines' voice. Their live show was high energy and amazing when I saw them in 2005ish. I have everything they've ever done, so it's safe to say I'm a fan. But this is pushing it. To paraphrase a hilarious exchange from the Simpsons:

Metric: We're putting out a new album soon!

Me: That's good!

Metric: It's called "Fantasies!"

Me: That's bad.

Metric: It's going to focus on a more positive vibe while maintaining that synth-pop sound you've come to love!

Me: That's good!

Metric: You can pre-order it now if you want to!

Me: That's... okay. I'm fine.

Metric: If you pre-order it, you can have some bonus tracks including (get this) a cover of Pink Floyd's "Nobody Home!"

Me: That's good! (*pre-orders album*)

Metric: "Nobody Home" will be sung by James Shaw!

Me: ...

Metric: :)!

Me: Are you fucking kidding me?

No offense to the guy. He plays a mean guitar, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY listens to Metric to hear James Shaw sing. His falsetto in "Rock Me Now" is ridiculous and almost ruins the song. I was over the moon to hear Emily Haines sing one of my favourite Pink Floyd songs, and what happens instead? I end up with a guy singing dully over some plodding piano chords. Roger Water's performance of this song had so much feeling and passion about feeling trapped and helpless, so much atmosphere. James Shaw feels like he's rushing through the song, uncomfortably trying to finish up before anyone realizes he's nowhere near as good a singer as Roger Waters or Emily Haines. And by the way, falsetto is not the same thing as hitting a high note.

And the worst part is this: The likelihood of Emily Haines ever actually singing this song in public or recording it is nil, because now it's James Shaw's song! He might even take a step behind the mic in concert and bang this one out. If this becomes a staple of their repertoire... well, it just might be a deal-breaker. Like how I hardly ever listen to Stars any more because of their disgustingly hammy stage personas, despite how affected I was by their music on first listen. I just can't wash the bad taste of this cover out of my mouth! I literally hate this version of the song.

I'm trying to think of a humorous or reflective take to end this on, but I just can't. Nine bucks... gone.