Open Challange
Here's the beginnings of a contest.
What is the funniest thing ever?
My entry: People in infomercials using the "old" product.
I love the way these people can't possibly fathom how to use common household items like blenders or get tired out doing everyday things like brushing their teeth. "Arg! Now I've got fruit smoothie all over me! Why is this product SO HARD to use?" "My wrist is tired from chopping this lettuce! If ONLY there was SOME OTHER WAY!" Then they shake their heads at the camera as if to say "Don't let THIS happen to you." As an added bonus, all of these clips are shown in black and white to highlight the outdated techology they are using.
If you can think of something funnier, let me know!
Natty-Pants' entry:
This comes a little late but I now have in my possession, "the funniest thing ever," an e-mail by a former co-worker to my former boss. Don't ask me how I obtained it but the identity of both the employee and employer remain anonymous:
Dear [Name withheld],
I have been tyring to find someone to take my shift for Med-Syd all day today. I dont know if having the "s**ts" is grounds for being excused but i will come to work. I dunno what i had being drunk las nite but i want to goto the washroom every 10 minutes, and then.. nothing =(. I will try my
best to get a doctors note before i come to the office. If my situation becomes unbearable please please excuse me if i call you from work because by then I know i cant even stand straight.
Honestly called everyone and noone is able to come to my aid. I dont want skid marks while im working =( please let me know sooner if you can call. my situation is not getting any better and I dont know how to solve this without consulting you.
Name withheld.
There are more in the comments section! By the way, if anyone knows the code for changing "comments" to something hilarious... like "fannies" please let me know!
posted by Phinneas Q Jacksmith @ 3:28 p.m.
4 comments
4 Comments:
"Before, this was the only way to get juice from an orange"
"You mean there's a better way?"
Funniest thing ever eh? That'll take a little pondering.
to be continued...
My favorite is when I buy electronics or anything requiring home assembly. The instructions always include bone head additional warnings, such as blow dryers, "Do not operate while bathing." Which you KNOW means somebody did just that, and the company had to issue a warning label. Or coffee mugs with warnings printed on the bottom: Materials in this product are known cancer-causing agents. Do not ingest.
Also take-home pizzas:
Remove plastic wrap before baking.
It's funny, in a sad-I-fear-for-this-world sort of way.
Wait- here is an actual email we received at work, from an employee who had just been fired. Keep in mind that this e-vite came merely DAYS after Hurricane Katrina hit:
Hey guys,
I apologize for the mass mailing, but I really need your help.
I am holding a fundraising garage sale & raffle in Santa Cruz in a couple weeks. I am hoping you can donate items for the sale, and/or your time to help me with it.
The sale and raffle is an effort to raise money to have two rats taken to San Rafael for tumor removal surgery. You all know my old one maggie? She has a huge tumor growing, and one on her side as well. One of her daughters Chewy, also has a suspicious lump that needs to be removed. Maggie may not be well enough to survive surgery, so the visit could be a general check up, and a simple procedure to make her more comfortable.
Up to 3/4 of the final totals from the sale and raffle will be applied towards the surgery, and antibiotics and other medications needed afterwards. The rest of the money left will halved. One half will be divided amongst those who help me with the sale, and the other half will be given to a rat rescue, and a local fund to help pet owners pay for vet bills they can't afford. Those who help with the sale can also donate thier portions to those funds if they like.
Raffle tickets will be sold for no more than $1, and there will be three prizes - items of high value that are donated for the sale. The rats will pick out the winners, and the winners will be notified to pick up thier prizes.
If you can donate anything- items to sell, time to help, or just some good vibes, I (and the ratties) would greatly appreciate it! Don't forget to reserve that weekend so you can stop by and check it out :)
Thanks So Much!!!
Yeah- we passed this one around. At first I was angered. I wanted to write and ask her what she thought of the drowned rats in the South. But then I laughed heartily at the thought of a fund raiser for a rat that can be replaced for $3. But, pets are pets. I guess.
Jody is not allowed to babysit my rats!
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