Swiss Army Posting.

Hi there! It's been a while. So here's some loose coherence!

[My name is]: Andrew J. Root the first

[In the morning I am]: bleary.

[All I need is]: five more minutes and then I'll be ready.

[Love is]: sleeping in my bed right now.

[I'm afraid of]: Snakes and heights and all amnner of deep-sea fishes.

[I dream about]: a jumbled mixture of the events of the last few days.


FAVORITES

[Colour]: Dark blue or green.

[Number]: In high school it was 21, but now I'm not sure.

[Clothing brand]: I don't really subscribe to one specific brand.

[Shoe brand]: the comfortable kind. See above.

[Sport to play]: I liked the one year I played of football.

[Drink (non alcoholic)]: Water

[Drink (alcoholic)]: Crown Royal with a strawberry chaser.

[Animal]: I'm a fan of all your basic mammals.

[Favorite line from a movie or song]: 1) Metric 2) Meryl Streep from "Adaptation"

"Poster of a Girl" (Song of the moment)

Can't stand by myself
Hate to sleep alone
Surprises always help
So I take somebody home
To find out how I feel
Feel like just a baby
Portrait of a lady
Poster of a girl

Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma réalité
On ne peut pas fabriquer la vérité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité

Satisfy myself
Avoid beginners
Who long to shut my mouth
Till I take one of them home
'Cause I know how it feels
Filling in the blanks
Looking on the bright side
When there is no bright side
Coming in your pants
For the off chance
With a...
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of... a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl

Je deteste dormir sans une présence
Les surprises semblent alléger ma solitude
Alors je ramène quelqu'un dans mon lit
Afin de découvrir comment je me sens
Comme un bébé
Portrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille
Portrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille

Me satisfaire
Eviter les novices
Ceux qui cherchent à me faire taire
Jusqu'à ce que je rentre avec l'un d'eux
Car je connais la sensation
De chercher le fil d'or
Et de ne jamais le trouver
Coming in your pants
Qui ne pense qu'à coucher avec une
fille d'affiche
Affiche d'une fille
Une fille d'affiche
Potrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille

Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
On ne peut pas fabriquer la vérité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité

Susan Orlean: [laughs] Well, I'm just tired. That's my problem.

WHO

[Gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: Certain people at work give me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

[Has a crush on you]: An old lady who wears ribbons in her hair.


DO YOU EVER <--- NOTE! This should read "HAVE YOU EVER"

[Wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: I have once or thrice.

[Fallen for your best friend]: Yeah, only too late.

[Been rejected]: Mmm hmmm.

[Rejected someone]: Yeah, but he got over it.

[Done something you regret]: Duh...

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

[You talked to on the phone]: Jenny.

[Hugged]: Jenny.

[You instant messaged]: I have no idea. Let's see who's online! (moments later) No one.

[You laughed like mad with]: Jenny.


DO YOU/ ARE YOU

[Smoke cigarettes]: Pah! NO!

[What's your favorite food]: Cereal.

[Fruit]: No, I do not do nor am I fruit. These catagories are poorly planned.

[Drink alcohol]: Yeah, but it doesn't work like I want it to.

[Like watching sunrises or sunset]: Sunsets I find are nicer. There are always a million brilliant colours. Watching the sunrise is like watching someone turn on a lightswitch, but really slowly.

[Know what hurts the most]: Is it a "hertz donut"?


NUMBER

[Of times you've have had your heart broken]: I don't know. Once?

[Of drugs you've taken illegally]: 1.

[Of CD's that you own]: Millions! (incidently Luke, if you're reading this, I'd be willing to help replenish your CD collection via burning any discs of mine you might want)

[Of scars on my body]: Two. One one my toe, and one on my brow (though the second one is all but faded.)

PICK ONE:

[1 or 2 pillows]: 2.

[Winter / Spring / Summer / Fall]: Fall.

[Gloves or mittens]: I feel like a goon when I wear mittens, but gloves are super cold. Pockets.

[Dressed or undressed]: Dressed in as little as possible.

[Bunk or water bed]: Bunk bed. I love playing "Fort!"

[Ocean or pool]: Pool. Oceanic creatures creep me out like no one's busy-ness.

[Love or lust]: I'm told that all you need is love.

IF YOU COULD

[Meet one famous person]: I would. And then I wouldn't know what to say. And they would leave. And then I'd know exactly what to say. And then I'd be having one of those regrets you hear so much about.

[Name one thing you love]: Reading.

[Name one thing you hate]: If I may paraphrase Gypsy the MST3K robot: "It's hard to hate. I keep forgetting."

[Name one thing that embarrasses you:]: Look in the address field of your browser.

[Do you like school]: Yeah. I'll miss it.

[Do you like to talk on the telephone]: Not really. I like to fill awkward silences with funny facial expressions.

[Do you sing in the shower]: Doesn't everybody?

[Do you think cheerleading is a sport]: No. More of a disorder.

[What's on your ceiling]: A fan, a lot of white paint, and four glow-in-the-dark stars.

[What are you listening to right now]: A fan, and the soft breathing of my two favourite people.

[What's the hardest thing about growing up]: Knowing that you never got to be a Toys-R-Us kid.

****************************
Nora Has an Idea And Then Follows Through With It






You can see the exact moment when she contemplates the licking.

*************************

Work is hard. People have been kind of jerky lately, but that could be the by product of me working many days in a row. I will be rich in about a week, but now it sucks. Here's something funny that happened tonight:

There's a bonus-type game you can play during the seven regular games called the "Twoonie Pot." At the beginning of each session a "Twoonie Pot Indicator" number is pulled (ie/ B15). So if you get a bingo on the number which follows the Indicator, you win the Twoonie Pot ($100 - $5000 and anywhere in between). People get nasty sometimes about it, like when you call the Indicator, put it back in the blower and then start the first regular game and the Indicator is the first number up (which means that no one can win it). That happened tonight and you know what I heard from the crowd?

Hissing.

That's right:


SNAKES IN A BINGO HALL!!!


"I am TIRED of these MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES in this MOTHERFUCKIN' BINGO HALL!"

I had a really hard time not shouting that over the microphone. In the end I didn't for two reasons:

1) I would have been fired for shouting "Motherfuckin'" not once but twice.

2) No one would have gotten it anyway.

Speaking of Bingo, I went to the Valley and actually played bingo for the first time the other night. I won $50! Technically I won $70, but I spent $20 in the first place, so unlike a lot of people I see on a daily basis, I'm not counting that. Now all I have to do is not give in to the temptaton that I could win again.

*********************

So after a lengthy absence, my CKLU radio show is back on the air! Thursdays from midnight to 2:30! I'm pretty sure that there isn't a single person listening to it, but it's still fun to do. Last Thursday was a Lollapalooza tribute, and this Thursday comin' up will be a blues centered show! I'm looking forward to it! Here's what you missed last Thursday:

eels - I'm Going to Stop Pretending that I Didn't Beak Your Heart
Stars - Death to Death
Iron & WIne - Evening on the Ground (Lilith's Song), The Trapeze Swinger
The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldier (acoustic), Crazy (Gnarls Barkley cover)
Death Cab for Cutie - What Sarah Said
Feist - When I Was a Young Girl
Sonic Youth - Sunday
Calexico/Iron & Wine - Sixteen, Maybe Less, In the Reins
Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism, Half Jack
Flaming Lips - The W.A.N.D.
The Shins - Kissing the Lipless
She Wants Revenge - These Things
Broken Social Scene - Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Better Day), Anthems for a Seventeen-Year Old Girl

It feels like I'm missing some stuff in there, because the Lollapalooza stuff took up 2 hours of a 2 & 1/2 hour show. The rest was peckering about with Bob Dylan, Washboard Hank, and the Ditty Bops. Oh Yeah! And Dolly Parton! CKLU has a version of Dolly Parton singing "Stairway to Heaven!" That's the tits.

********************

So far there have been no calls about the kitten Jenny found. He's fitting in pretty well here, playing with Nora. Although there was an incident this evening. A cat / chameleon showdown. I was at work, but I'm told it was epic.

Anyway, we've semi-settled on a name. It's a little "inside," but in a way, aren't all pet names?

"B.i.c. Vader"

The B.i.c. part is pronounced like the pens and lighters and is short for "Bright Idea Cat" which comes from a sketch Jenny did for me of a cat with a lightbulb for a tail, and the Vader part comes from the fact that he's all black and it's funny to give such a tiny kitty Darth Vader's voice.

********************

In other news, I'm out of news.