And the Pulitzer goes to...

The main page on MSN ran three consecutive stories today, as follows;

1) Mischa Barton's Butt Thanks - Referring to a nude scene in her new Richard Attenborough-directed movie. These articles usually have some sort of pun in the title, but this one escapes me.

2) Natalie Portman’s Scarlett lust - Regarding a remark Natalie Portman made regarding her affection towards Scarlett Johansson's breasts.

3) Kate Hudson loves her body - Well, this one doesn't need much explanation, does it?

These articles are ridiculous for many many reasons. Here are a couple:

1) They're manipulative. Flooding the "entertainment news" market with stories on upcoming nude scenes, potential lesbianism, and wearing bikini after bikini are thinly vieled marketing attempts, capitalizing on a hormonaly driven audience. Plus, seeing as Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson play sisters in their upcoming movie, it's doubtful that they will engage in any lesbianism. Which means that this story (based most likely on a comment taken out of context) is solely to get horny guys giggling to themselves in the theatre.

2) They're sexist. They're reducing the lives and careers of these talented women to the nude scenes they've done, their sexual orientation (or the one that has been constructed for them), and their bodies. Not to mention the fact that they reflect the odd divide that the media has regarding homosexuality. It's fine for Natalie Portman to comment on the attractiveness of Scarlett Johansson, but I'm willing to bet that there will never be a blurb about how Edward Norton thinks Clive Owen has a rockin' bod. The media seems to approve of lesbianism, but not of... wait what is the word for guy-based homosexuality? Is there one? Either way, girl on girl seems to have the thumbs up, but guy on guy is a no-no.

3) This is played off as news. The more you think about it, the less reason there is to know this stuff. I'm glad that Kate Hudson likes her body, and that Mischa Barton is comfortable enough with Richard Attenborough to let him film her heinie, but why oh why do I need to know this? The Kate Hudson story could be passed off as supporting a positive body image, but only in the title. The body of the article contains this mixed message:

"I don't like looking at photos of me, and I sweat it if I'm forced to watch my own movies. It all makes you far too self-conscious." -link

So it's not even solid reporting! It's as backwards as titling a website "This is witty and profound and you love it" when the contents are crappy quizzes and half-baked realizations. In the end, the purpose of the article is to get you thinking about Kate Hudson's and Mischa Barton's bodies, which you can see in their new movies, Fool's Gold, and Closing The Ring.

There are probably more reasons, but I have to go do laundry. Shame on you MSN "news."