Friday, April 28, 2006

All I have to do is dre-ee-ee-e-eem

I had a dream last night in which I came upon two police officers macking out hard against a wall. When I made an "Ahem" noise, they tried to bribe me, then started swearing at me, then the dream shifted to something about a cathedral near where I grew up. I remember saying to the coppers that I didn't think it was appropriate since they were supposed to be working. They called me a homophobe.

Anyone got a clue?

p.s. A lyric of the moment:

12:51 is the time my voice
Found the words I sought...
Is it this stage I want?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Passive agressive manipulation is a funny title.

Liz the Tiz Buchanan has found something funny and deserving of your attention. It's a White Stripes related matter, so if you're interested click here! And if you're not, then GET INTERESTED, CRACKER! (Be sure to read my comment! I put a lot of damn work into it!)

----> "WTF, mate?"

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Two down, Twelve to go!

Books I can cross off the Summer Reading List!

  • V for Vendetta - Alan Moore and David Lloyd
  • The Wars - Timothy Findley (He found a way to work in Nicholas Fagan! HA!)

    Next up: The DaVinci Code (Illustrated version)- Dan Brown

    Not a bad start if you ask me, and I'm insinutating that you ask me since you're here.

    Parakeet!

    Did you just say "Parakeet"?

  • Friday, April 21, 2006

    Julia Robhurts

    Julia Roberts (who, truthfully I have never felt an affinity towards) made her Broadway debut the oher night, and rumour has it that she wasn't that good. But now I'm torn. Part of me wants to think "HA! Maybe now people will stop treating her like the goddess she's NOT!" but another part of me thinks "Come on. Movie acting vs. stage acting is not a fair comparision. Give her a break/Don't have expectations of a Julia Roberts movie."

    Your thoughts? It's like I said, I dont like her, but I feel for the gal. Just keep that mouth away from me.

    ************
    UPDATE
    ************

    I just read something that said "Drama snobs snub Roberts" which (to me) is the equivelent of saying "Well, everyone in their right mind should simply LOOOOOVE Julia Roberts and everything she's ever done! People who don't like her are elitist snobs who have their heads too far up their asses to know any better. I feel sorry for the people who can't love Julia for who she is: The Perfect Actor."

    perhaps a slight exaggeration, but still. Come on.

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006

    Chaos unlimited

    So.... here's a mess of stuff because guess what! I have to find a way to fill the time now that I'm not in school any more! ZOUNDS! What will I do with myself? Well, this will kill about 1/2 an hour or so.

    Answers:

    Angelo queried: Which character have you enjoyed playing most of all?

    Without a doubt, Hamlet. It's a case of "you get out of a role what you put into it" and I put a lot of work into that role (so much so that almost every other aspect of my life suffered as a result). But it's the one character that I feel like you could ask me anything at all about and I would have an answer ready. In fact, that might be the subject of the next post: Questions about Hamlet!

    Natty-Pants queried: What age would you like to live to and what age do you see yourself dying?

    I want to live until I'm at least 80, but 87 sounds like a good number to kick off on!

    Does death frighten you?

    Sometimes. Violent death preceded by hours of terror definitely scares me, but as for old age? Not sure. It's more a feeling like "shit, I didn't change that lightbulb like I meant to." "Or, hell, I never randomly assaulted that politician like I meant to."

    What's your dream destination?

    Ireland.

    What would you do if you had a million dollars?

    I'd buy you a fur coat, but not a real fur coat, that's cruel. Actually, I'd free myself from all forms of debt, then go to Ireland for a while.

    Any plans in the near future to get a tattoo?

    I'm thinking that this summer might be the summer it all comes together! Mainly because I don't have school to think about anymore. But I do need to find exactly the right thing, or it won't happen.

    What's the most frightening situation you've ever been in?

    I once was visiting my grandparents and my grandfather had to go to the hospital. That was pretty awful. He's better now though.

    Name the scariest movie you've ever seen:

    Movies don't actually scare me too much. I thought Scream was pretty frightening, mainly because of that stupid mask, but then I think about all the times that the guy gets a door slammed in his face. heh heh heh...

    Ok, last one... are you planning on being an organ donor?

    I hadn't thought about it. I think when I get a little older I'll fill out one of those cards, just so long as John Cleese and Graham Chapman don't come knocking on my door. I plan on being cremated anyway, so it'll just make a shorter job for the furnace operator and they can nip out for a longer lunch, so yeah, I'll give up my organs. Who wants 'em?!?

    Kayla queried: I have a suspicion that your middle name starts with J. What is your middle name anyways?

    An astute observation, Ms. K! My middle name is John, which is the nomencultural equivalant of "ho-hum."

    Michael "The Metropolis Kid" queried: Joseph? Jacob? Jeremiah? Jehosephat? Jehoikim? Jim?

    Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, uh-uh.

    Captain Jonas J. Lovejones, MD queried: If I come back, will you put my blog back into your links?

    Indeed I would, though the surprising lack of "YYAAAAARRRR"'s in this question leads me to believe that this was posed by a fraud, not the real captain.

    Luke Norton queried: Will you make a short film with me this summer?

    You bet your balls I will.

    Michael "The Metropolis Kid" came back and queried: If you were to play a role in life or stage, what would it be?

    There aren't really any roles I'm salivating over at the moment. I'd like to try my hand at something realistic. See if I could make that work. In a way Shakespeare's easy. You can hide behind the language if you don't know exactly what to do.

    What are your plans now that you're officially not a student?

    I plan to figure that out so I'll have an answer for that question. I'm thinking about throwing an egg at the school. See below for details.

    Actually I plan to work for a while so I can be prepared when OSAP comes knocking on my door, and so I can move away from Sudbury. Then we'll see. In the mean time I plan to do a shit load of reading too.

    Erica queried: Can I have an extension on the question deadline?

    I'm tempted to say yes, but then I feel like you'd never ask me another question... so no. Unless you can convince me that you deserve it.

    Liz queried: Do you remember the particular moment in your relationship with Jenny when you first realized you were in love? Or was it not a particular "moment"? Expand on yes or no. (10 marks)

    I don't think there was a relevatory moment where I was walking down the street and said "Holy shit! I love Jenny!" and then ran off to buy her flowers. There was just a general feeling of complete and utter well-being and comfort that I'd never felt on any level before.

    Resta queried: Greatest regret?

    Regrets... I've had a few. But none of them stand out as being "The Biggest Regret Of My Life." There are a few things I wish I'd acted on, but didn't or vice versa. A few people I wish I'd made friends with sooner. More than a few people I wish I'd avoided, but then I wouldn't have learned to avoid people like them. Is that ok, or would you like a more general answer?

    And that's it.

    ************************************************
    THE SADDEST STORY YOU'VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE
    ************************************************

    I went to Petsmart the other day with Jenny and Jenny's friend Justin. My motivation was to look at the cute litle animals for adoption, as I think I want to adopt a cat this summer, ever since I found a frozen cat on the sidewalk. Poor, poor kitty. I don't want that to happen to anyone else. So we were looking at the cats, and Justin said "Oh my god" and pointed to one cat named "Little Bit." "That's my cat!" he further said. It came out that about a month earlier his mother had just out-of-the-blue given his cat away while he was out of town for the weekend. So we quickly formulated the plan that he would buy the cat back and keep it at our place until he moved out of his mom's house, which he was planning on doing anyways. So we grab a volunteer and ask to see one of the cats. We go back and there's another volunteer who says "Where are you going?" "We're just going to have a look at a cat," said the first volunteer. "Oh, well, Little Bit is just being adopted."

    An old woman had picked out Little Bit not two minutes earlier.

    The end.

    ***********************************

    A = Available?
    For lunch? Always! Are you buying?

    B = Best Friend(s)?
    Jenny, Steph, Liz, Simac, and many others

    C = Crush?
    Do you think I could get Meg to stop smoking?

    D = Dog Names?
    Anorien Grace Rootazelton.

    E = Easiest Person To Talk To?
    See "B"

    F = Friday or Saturday?
    Friday. Then you have Saturday to look forward to!

    G = Gummy Bears Or Worms?
    Bears. They're more fun to eat, as you can make little "noooo! Don't bite my leg off!" etc.

    H = Hometown?
    Peterborough!

    I = If You Could Move Would You?
    Technically I can. I'm moving my fingers right now! But if you mean move to another town, I'd probably do that too.

    J = Jesus is?
    not coming soon to a theatre near you.

    K = Kids?
    Not in the foreseeable future.

    L = Longest Car Ride?
    Driving to a town 3 hours west of Winnepeg as a kid.

    I have added an M= Most favourite person I stole this quiz from:
    Liz!

    N = Number Of Siblings
    3! 2 sis, 1 bro

    O = One Wish?
    unlimited, untaxable funds. That, or superpowers.

    P = Phobia(s)
    Not fond of snakes or heights, but not to the degree that they're phobias. Although maybe I just haven't admitted the severity of my problem yet.

    Q = Favorite Quote?
    "And thus I clothe my naked villainy
    With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
    And seem a saint, when most I play the devil."
    William Shakespeare - From Richard III

    R = Reason To Smile?
    I'm out of university.

    S = Song You Last Heard?
    Who's a Big Baby? - White Stripes

    T = Time You Woke Up?
    9:00 am.

    U = Unknown Fact About Me?
    That thing that I said wasn't me, actually was.

    V = Vegetable You Love?
    cauliflower.

    W = Worst Habit?
    procrastination in all its forms. I'm working on that though.

    Also added: X = X-Man you would be if you could be one:
    Gambit seemed pretty cool, but his powers are completely inapplicable to everyday life. If you could combine Jean Grey's telekinesis with Gambit's ability to woo Rogue, then we'll talk.

    Y = Yummy Foods?
    My guilty admission is that McDonald's tickles my tastebuds.

    Z = Zodiac Sign?
    This is the dawning of the age of Taurus... I mean, Aquarius.

    ****************************
    Why I want to throw an egg at the school:

    I went for my last exam last night to the gym, logically. But then it turned out that the exam was to be written in C-204, which is essentially the other side of the campus. An envigilator told me that I had been sent a letter about it. My response was that if they'd sent me a letter I would have gone to C-204. In fact, I got 2 letters confirming that the exam was in the gym.

    How perfect that my last experiece as a student at Laurentain was complicated by administrative difficulties?
    ****************************

    That's it for now. Except for this picture (which is perhaps the most entertaining thing in this post):

    Friday, April 14, 2006

    Bad Friday

    Since the library is closed today and I therefore can't print off and hand in my final assignment, I will leap nimbly (albiet somewhat lately) upon the trolley, and say the following:

    Ask me a question, and I shall endeavor to answer.

    *********
    THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO
    *********

    1) The answers to the questions. Keep asking! I've been patient for all of a day now! I won't hold out much longer! My lack of patience means I probably won't get as many Q's to A as say, Luke McKuke or Angelo Smallwall, so I will probably wait until Wednesday when school is officially over to answer things. Fire away! Zero taboo level!

    2) The saddest story you've ever heard in your life.

    3) An alphabet soup quiz!

    And I added another link to the links section! Go there! It's funny!

    *************************

    LAST DAY TO ASK QUESTIONS! After tomorrow I might just never reveal anything personal about myself ever again, so get your fix before it runs away and joins corporate America! By the way, it's Tuesday today.

    This is my final assignment at University.

    Needs a bit of tweaking, some double spacing, and a paragraph explaining how it's "Pre-Hellenic" and then I'll be done. So long, and thanks for all the fish. I will soon be returning to my regular modus operandi of posting every damn thought that pops into my head. Rejoice, you fictional peasants!

    *****************************

    Artemis and Athene
    By Andrew Root

    It came to pass that Zeus, lord of the gods, desired Themis, one of the Titans. Themis protested Zeus' advances and instead offered him a bargain. If he was able to have one goddess kill another, she would become his maid and servant. Themis underestimated Zeus' lust, as he immediately set to work at arranging a duel between two goddesses. Disguising himself in the form of Athene, Zeus visited Artemis and challanged her to a duel. Artemis accepted, though was puzzled as to why Athene would challenge her in this manner. Zeus then disguised himself as Artemis and offered the same challenge to Athene, who similarly accepted.

    On the agreed upon day, Athene and Artemis met to discuss the terms of the duel while Zeus hid nearby to watch the proceedings. Athene proposed a weaving contest, but Artemis protested, saying that she was clearly not as accomplished a weaver as Athene and that such a contest would be unfair. Athene agreed and asked Artemis what contest she would suggest. Artemis proposed a hunting contest, but Athene protested, saying that she was not nearly as good a hunter as Artemis and such a contest would too be unfair. Artemis concurred.

    The two goddesses decided that the only fair way for the two of them to fight a duel would be to have an outright battle, though both found the idea unsavoury. Athene was very skilled with her spear and shield, and Aretmis, her bow and arrow. The two goddesses began to fight, and Zeus, certain of his victory in the wager snuck off to find Themis and claim his victory.

    Athene thrust her spear at Artemis, but Artemis' reflexes were so finely attuned that she dodged the blow easily. Artemis drew an arrow from her quiver and fired, but Athene had anticipated this and sidestepped the arrow gracefully. Promptly the two goddesses realized the futility of their duel. They both had no hope of harming the other, Artemis because of her strong intsincts for battle and Athene for her deft cunning and strategy. They declared the duel a draw and called the whole affair off simultaneously.

    Meanwhile, Zeus had exercised his victory claim over Themis, who bore three children of this union; Eunomia, Dike, and Eirene. When Themis learned of the two goddesses forfeiting the duel she became enraged with Zeus for falsely caliming his prize. She complained to Artemis and Athene and informed them of Zeus' actions. Both goddesses were incensed and took their revenge in their own ways.

    Artemis quit Olympus, never to return and Zeus lost his dominion over her. She took to the wild and never heeded Zeus again. Athene stole away Zeus and Themis' three children and presented them as a gift to the Greeks. Together with the Greeks and Athene, Eunomia, Dike, and Eirene set up the first court of justice in Greece beginning a tradition of using speech and rationality to settle differences rather than violence. These revenges hurt Zeus tremendously, as he lost control over a powerful goddess and the Greek people were now worshipping Athene for a gift that was rightly his to bestow.



    Tuesday, April 04, 2006

    More-ganization

    The coming days will put my resolve to stay on task to severe limits:

    Monday 3rd: GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Tuesday 4th: Last day of classes. Hand in two of the 5 essays due. Rehearse with Directing class cast. Find costumes. Work on whatever I possibly can for the three remaining essays. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Wednesday 5th: Buy oranges. Finishing touches on Directing class. Present at 6. Work on whatever I possibly can for the three remaining essays. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Thursday 6th: Work on whatever I possibly can for the three remaining essays. Possibly reconvene in Directing class for the Hampsters (4:30 - 6:00). CKLU training at 6 - 7:30. Study for exams. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Friday 7th: Work on whatever I possibly can for the three remaining essays (Need to have Directing essay completely done by now). Study for Shakespeare exam. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Saturday 8th: 9am Shakespeare exam. Study for C.W.W. exam. 7pm C.W.W. exam. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Sunday 9th: Study for Atwood exam. Try to finish Atwood essay. Work at 7pm. GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Monday 10th: Study for Atwood exam. 2pm Atwood exam. Booze? GONE! WASTED! FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

    Tuesday 11th - Monday 17th: Study for Greek Mythology exam. Finish Greek Mythology essay.

    Tuesday 18th: 7pm Greek Mythology exam. Booze.

    At present I am completely finished one course. By 4:00, I will be finished two. By 6:00 I will be finished three.

    ******************************

    Something to motivate (ie/ distract) me.

    SUMMER '06 READING LIST (so far): Books to read (or better!) own by the end of the summer.

  • The Hours - Michael Cunningham
  • Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Woolf
  • The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
  • Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal - Christopher Moore
  • To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  • In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
  • The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
  • Alias Grace - Margaret Atwood
  • The Hard Goodbye - Frank Miller
  • The Facts Behind Helsinki Roccamatios - Yann Martel
  • Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett
  • The Wars - Timothy Findley
  • V For Vendetta - Alan Moore & David Lloyd
  • Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

  • Monday, April 03, 2006

    Check out my hyrda-lics

    I have chopped off one of the heads of the hydra (in the form of a Shakespeare essay). Not much structure, very faint whisperings of a thesis, 8 pages out of the required 10, but finished nonetheless. And, like the mythical hydra, now I can't stop worrying about the exam which will rear it's ugly head in a few short days. So to sum up:

    1.9 essays done.
    3 essays left to do.
    4 exams on 3 days.

    Current status: moving slowly away form "Screwed Town."

    I'ma go hang out with the Hamlet cast.

    Sunday, April 02, 2006

    Perhaps the joke is on me.

    Dear Universe,

    What is the freakin' deal? I know you've got a thing for weird coincidences, chance similarities and all the other mish-mash that makes you a strange and mysteriously terrifying fruit, but come on.

    Two locations, two different parts of town, two days, two condoms.

    One found within the pages of a menu in a restaurant (for anonymity's sake let's refer to it as "West Top Luigi's"), and one on the doorknob to my building. One on March 31st, the other on April 2nd. One had it's benefits actually, as it served to get Ms. Elizabeth Buchanan a free birthday meal. The other served to make me ponder what I am currently pondering. Jenny suggests that perhaps it's someone sending me a message, kind of like a fish in a newspaper. What are they trying to say? Maybe it's a thug who knows that threatening children is an effective method of intimidation, but since I don't have kids he's threatening my future offspring. If so, well played you ruffian! If not, then I kind of hope punks stop leaving condoms everywhere I go.

    "Hey guys, guess who made the cover of this week's Stupid Coincidence magazine?" (Watch it right until the end.)

    Love,
    Andrew

    p.s. Thanks a lot for reminding me to set my clocks forward... jerk.

    Saturday, April 01, 2006

    An Interesting and Intellectually Stimulating Post.

    APRIL FOOL'S!