Let's Make It Official

By the power vested in me, I do hereby bestow upon Samantha Burns the office of my personal Poet Laureate, based upon the merit of her latest composition, which has been reproduced here.

An Absurd Limerick for Andrew on his Day of Birth

There once was an Andrew named Root
who kept his food in a boot.
It started to stink
and it turned green and pink.
This last line is entirely moot.

Archival photo

I congratulate and salute your efforts Ms. Burns, and encourage the prolifery of your literary talents!

Jesus, there's like 104 questions on this thing!

1. How old will you be in five years and 2 days? I would have turned 29 three days ago!

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Nobody yet! Whoever goes to see "Volver" with me tonight will win that prize.

3. How tall are you? about 5'9"

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? The 400 flea market in BArrie in about 3 weeks seems pretty appealing.

5. What's the last movie you saw? Pan's Labyrinth.

6. Who was the last person you called? Jenny!

7. Who was the last person to call you? My parents.

8. What was the last text message you receiveved? I get emails, not text messages.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? On the answering machine, Iam Maclennan.

10. Do you prefer to call or text? I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE! See two previous answers.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Gittin' ready for some hardcore sleep! Also showing Stephie some pictures I'd taken at rehearsal.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married!

13. When is the last time you saw your mom? At Christmas.

14. What color are your eyes? Boring ol' brown.

15. What time did you wake up today? 7:50am.

16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans, socks, undies, "rock 'n' roll" shirt, new birthday shirt.

17. What is your favorite christmas song? 'Zat you Santy Claus?' by Louis Armstrong.

18. Where is your favorite place to be? Somewhere warm and comfy with a good book.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be? I don't usually go places where I'm uncomfortable.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Coachella music festival in California. (Arcade Fire vs the Decemberists!)

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Stratford.

22. Do you tan or burn? I burn, and then it turns into a tan the next day.

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The Boogeyman who made a one-time appearance in the Real Ghostbusters cartoon show.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? The pictorial equivalent of Paul McGiggly's name.

25. How many TVs do you have in your house? Uno.

26. How big is your bed? Double!

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? desktop! Although a laptop with functioning battery would be exceptional!

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With.

29. What color are your sheets? Kind of an off white, but not because they used to be white and I've just had them on for a long time. They were off-white to start with.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

31. What is your favorite season? Autumn!

32. What do you like about fall? I have better fall clothes.

33. What do you like about winter? The pretty pretty snow!

34. What do you like about the summer? Thunderstorms.

35. What do you like about spring? The smell.

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? Just the one.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Peterborough & Sudbury.

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Bare feet is the most heat efficient for someone who is always hot.

39. Are you a social person? It depends on the people I guess.

40. What was the last thing you ate? A Yogurt with REAL STRAWBERRIES (in the bottom)

41. What is your favorite restaurant? Jak's is pretty kick-awesome.

42. What is your favorite ice cream? The kind that is shaped into a cake.

43. What is your favorite dessert? I don't play favourites with desserts.

44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Anything cream based.

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Anything made by a grandparent.

46. Do you like Chinese food? Yes!

47. Do you like coffee? No!

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? So so many.

49. What do you drink in the morning? Water, then orange juice. One to hydrate after a long night in a dry apartment, the other to "clear out the cobwebs" as me grandmither says.

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? The left. I don't know why, but I can't sleep on the right.

52. Do you know how to play poker? nay.

53. Do you like to cuddle? Are you asking?

54. Have you ever been to Canada? I'm on an extended vacation there.

55. Do you have an addictive personality? I try not to, but...

56. Do you eat out or at home more often? It's about equal.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My brother. And Heather Graham who is 37 years old! Did ANYONE see that coming?

59. Do you want kids? Not today.

60. Do you speak any other language? Pig Latin.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches? not yet!

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Not yet!

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Pool!

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Window like you wouldn't believe.

65. Do you know how to drive stick? Lord no.

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Media.

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? "24/7?"

68. What is your favorite TV show? I don't have reception.

69. Can you roll your tongue? Yes.

70. Who is the funniest person you know? I only associate with funny people and I refuse to differentiate.

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? M'Bear!

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Bring Bring.

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? I don't know. My folks would have them at their house.

74. What red object is closest to you right now? Streamer!

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Open.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees. There is slightet possibility I'd be able to outrun them to the nearest body of water, whereas with a bear I could only think to climb a tree which would instantly make me a goner.

78. Do you flirt a lot? Yeah, sometimes.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Honey.

80. What is your favorite food? Shepherds Pie.

81. Can you change the oil on a car? I can put more oil in when the tank has run dry!

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yeah, but I could have gotten out of it if I'd used my noggin.

83. Have you ever run out of gas? Once! And I left the lights on while I went with the can, so when I got back the battery had died! Hilarious!

84. What is your usual bedtime? Earlier these days.

85. What was the last book you read? 1984.

86. Do you read the newspaper? The comics is the only sections I can usually stomach, and even then...

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? I used to get Rolling Stone, but then they just stopped.

89. Do you watch soap operas? Good god.

90. Do you dance in the car? Yes.

91. What radio station did you last listen to? CBC.

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? Charlie Chaplin.

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? "Book for E.L. For Sure. Start in June. 2x/month."

94. What is your favorite candle scent? Lovely.

95. What is your favorite board game? THE ARCHIE GAME!

97. When was the last time you attended church? Christmas.

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Mr. Roberts was pretty cool.

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? A week.

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Everything relating to my birthday has been really nice lately, so I can't choose just one.

101. If you could live in any city, which would it be? Dublin.

102. What's the longest you've been in a fight with someone? I don't fight for long periods of time.

103. What's the longest you've had a secret crush on someone? 4 months, three days and eight hours, to the minute. What?

104. Do you think someone has a secret crush on you? Everyone I meet.

Why thank you, Marilyn!

It's my birthday today, January 29th. And to celebrate so far I've bought a new phone and answering machine, as mice had chewn through the old ones...

In either case, this is a kind of stream of conciousness because it's late, and I can't be bothered to form cohesive thoughts or sentences.

Anyone who is available on Tuesday night at 9:30pm, please do join me at Rainbow cinemas for a viewing of "Volver," which I have not seen and will be taking in as a birthday present to myself. Please join me! It'll be fun!

In other news, the song I have chosen to replace "Happy Birthday" is "Where there's a Will, there's a Whalebone" by Islands. So if you see me tomorrow, sing that.

I'm sorry.... So sorry....

Dearest friends, relations, and well-wishers,

I have been absent as of late, and many of you I have not seen for a crying-shame long time. This, as the poet says, blows chunks.

I've been working a lot (read: too much) lately, but things have recently become slightly less congested. Slightly. I had to go and fill up my evenings with a filmy mucous of activity like some sort of chump. My rationale for doing so was that what I am filling my evenings with now is not work, and therefore not oppressive to my sense of well-being. And what I am filling my evenings with now is a play.

I have been asked, due to the vacating of the role of the hothead brother, to join the cast of Thorneloe Theatre's production of Tartuffe. I shall be joining such luminaries as Mr. Luke D. Norton, Mr. & Mrs. Dan & Tracy Lessard, Ms. Brianne Thermin, as well as others whose names I might not spell correctly! It'll be fun! I'm basing my character partly on Burt Ward's take of Robin from the 1970's Batman series. I also get to flick my wrist around a lot.

So that's what I'm up to now. I thank all of you who have not forsaken me and have made efforts to get in touch with me (these include, but are not limited to; Ms. Liz Buchanan whose exemplary patience is to be commended when I say things like "I might have a night off next week sometime;" Ms. Kayla Turpin and her cadre of associates who invaded my radio show, even though I had abandoned it for sleep instead; and my loving parents who furnish me with letters and pictures in the mail), and offer you what I got up to in about 45 - 60 minutes last night:



God bless that basic video editing system I found on the computer!

It's because I don't have time to type.

The Most Magnificent Actor of Our Generation

This guy is roughly one billion times the actor that Shatner is.



YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Quote of the Year

"Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message hidden within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day, or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage."

-Lemony Snicket from The Grim Grotto



*************************************

Runner Up:

"Don't Panic Room. I'm not going to William Hurt you. I just want your Tango & Cash. So just Pay It Forward, and we'll all be Happy Gilmore."

POW!!

Bonjourno!

It's been so long since I've done a substantial post, but I'm hoping to rectify that at this very moment!

Up first: Goodbye 2006, Hello 2007! Here's what I did to myself today:




My hair hasn't been this short since I was in Hamlet back in March! See below for comparision:



It's already trying to go into a Hamlet-esque part, but I'm hoping to ween it from that idea.

Christmas was a lovely if rushed affair this year. Family family and more family coupled with driving driving and more driving. Jenny got me the first extended cut of the Fellowship of the Ring, which wouldn't seem like SUCH a big deal, except that I've been asking for it in general for 3 years. You all fail that test. Except Jenny. Many other things were given and recieved, including a box set of Lemony Snicket books, the complete novels of George Orwell, and a gorgeous illustrated version of Treasure Island, which goes ahead and confirms that Treasure Island is the enduring favourite book of mine. It's also the best Muppet movie! See for yourself!





A few pictures from the festivities:










Then, six short days later, Mr Luke D. Norton went and threw an ultra-classy New Year's Eve party! Pictures to follow... right now:














Elegance was the name of the day. Also encountered was a girl referred to as "Joe Friday" or "The Jesus Girl." With that level of mysteriousness she has the potential to become mythic.

Some highlights of the past year were as follows in no particular order:

-Lollapalooza!
-Hamlet!
-Graduation!
-New Job!
-Metric!
-Radio Show!
-Camera!
-Curling!
-B.I.C.!

And that's only a handful. I'm really happy about the digital camera (Thanks Mom & Dad!) that I got for graduation. I've only had it since June, so here are my favourite pictures of the 1/2 year, one from each month:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:


I think I ran out of steam, and thus the rest of this post will be truncated. This year I found a lot of really good music from many different sources. Here are the top 3.

The Decemberists - The Crane Wife

Cat Power - The Greatest

Joanna Newsom - Ys


2007 you'd better be good! If all goes according to plan I should find myself in France and see either my sister or my brother get married! I also predict that we'll find Osama Bin Laden at some point, and there will be more debate over capital punishment.

Good night and good luck.