Monday, August 28, 2006

Fun With Camera Settings (or The Day Dooly's Went Radioactive)



It was an ordinary day, just like any other day. Perhaps only the animals suspected something was about to go horribly wrong.

Jenny tended bar,



Jay enjoyed some quality camera time,



and general merriment was in the air.



No one noticed that a stray radioactive isotope had been left in the juice fridge.



A strange light permeated the bar.



And an ordinary neighbourhood dog...



Was transformed into a radioactive hellbeast.



Jay thought "I feel funny."



And then caught a glimpse of his horribly deformed visage in the mirror!



He quickly moved through the two stages of post-radioactive exposure:

1) Angry



and 2) Joker-esque



"I'd better get outside," Jay thought. But was outside any safer?



Jay thought "I'll be alright. I just feel a little jaundicy."



But suddenly there was a blinding flash of white light!





The radioactive material had wafted to a nearby power plant, causing it to explode, killing thousands! The streets ran red with blood!



Jay was shocked.



The inside of the bar got a good dousing as well.



And poor Jenny got the worst of it. The poor dear was so in shock that she just sat there smiling.



And in the end... only the animals suspected.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

:)

Last night I got to say the best thing I've ever said to anyone at any job I've ever had:

"There's porn on the TV's in the hall and nobody's turned it off yet? Are you all idiots? Get out of my way!"

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Yet another reason to be excited

Tell me where the light is...

I am in the process of paying back money to various sources, both individual and corporations. You'd think this would be a bad time to buy some new music. It is. But when have I let a bad idea stop me?

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs recently recorded a four-song acoustic set for an exclusive iTunes download. I think it might be the best $3.96 I've ever spent. I've always liked Karen O's voice, but these songs blow away anything she's ever done before. And Nick Zinner just made my list of favourite guitarists (to be posted when I think of other people to be on it).

The Yeah Yeah Yeah's music has this frantic energy about it; a frenzied call to arms laced with fierce sexual energy. You listen to it and get the distinct feeling that they're making you their bitch. But these acoustic rederings add some incredibly dramatic tension to the music. Karen O weeps into the mike, and some subtle reverb conjures images of a fractured girl alone in a room. It's heartbreaking in a way that the electrified versions covered with feverish lust. These songs are water tight.

I encourage everyone to spend the four dollars! It's a small price to pay and you will NOT regret it.

Track listing:

1. Cheated Hearts
2. Diamond Sea (Sonic Youth)
3. Gold Lion
4. Turn Into

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I think 4 of these will go unguessed!

Stolen from Angelo who stole it from Kayla, who are both tons of fun!

1. Shuffle your playlist.
2. Using the first twenty songs, no matter how embarrassing, post a lyric from that song.
3. Have your friends guess the song and artist (WITHOUT use of search engines).
4. Once that song and artist has been guessed, strike it out and beside the lyric place the name of who guessed it followed by the song and the artist.


1. They're the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out. High & Dry - Radiohead, LIZ B.

2. A floor below me, ceiling above, and I'm in the middle, with nobody to love,
nobody to love, nobody to love, nobody to love, yeah.
Slicker Drips - The White Stripes, LIZ B.

3. He wore his quiff Venetian style, His fags were cheap, but with a filter. Van Tango - Franz Ferdinand, SAM

4. Be my heater be my lover and we could do it to each other. Cold Night - Yeah Yeah Yeahs, LIZ B.

5. How do you think he does it? (I don't know) What makes him so good? Pinball Wizard - The Who, LIZ B.

6. You know your mother would talk about you. Your own sisters and your brothers, too. They don’t care how you’re tryin’ to live, They’ll talk about you still. Grinnin' In Your Face - Son House, UNSOLVED

7. A silent kid is looking down the barrel to make the noise that I kept so quiet. Pitseleh - Elliott Smith, ANGELO

8. You know I had a job on the levee, I had a good looking woman. Levee Camp Moan - Son House, UNSOLVED

9. Well Martin's dream has become Rodney's worst nightmare. Like a King - Ben Harper, SAM

10. Didn't mean to laugh, didn't know I had. Didn't know the better part of what you said cause in your head you are not home. One Chance - Modest Mouse, ANGELO

11. Surprise, Surprise, Couldn't find it in your eyes, But I'm sure it's written all over my face. Sunrise - Norah Jones, LIZ B.

12. And when there's no one around, I sneak through the grass without a sound.At Night - The Greenhornes, UNSOLVED

13. The sun just slipped its note below my door, And I can't hide beneath my sheets. Feelin' the Same Way - Norah Jones, SAM

14. My little pony is growing up fast, She corrects me and says "You mean a thoroughbred." Ribbons Undone - Tori Amos, UNSOLVED

15. If you give me a look, I'm gonna get the book, I'm gonna preach the word, I wanna preach to birds. Little Bird - The White Stripes, LIZ B.

16. Who's in a bunker? Who's in a bunker? Idioteque - Radiohead, LIZ B.

17. I'll be brand new, Brand new tomorrow, A little bit tired, But brand new. Pluto - Bjork, LIZ B.

18. The days get shorter and the nights get cold. I like the autumn but this place is getting old. The World at Large - Modest Mouse, ANGELO

19. The last message you sent said I looked really down, That I oughtta come over and talk about it, Well I wasn't down, I just wasn't smiling at you. You Could Have It So Much Better - Franz Ferdinand, LIZ B.

20. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Mr. Brightside - The Killers, LIZZIE V.

Did anyone else get an instrumental song while doing this and wasn't quite sure what to do?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Ahhh, Hype.

Swiss Army Posting.

Hi there! It's been a while. So here's some loose coherence!

[My name is]: Andrew J. Root the first

[In the morning I am]: bleary.

[All I need is]: five more minutes and then I'll be ready.

[Love is]: sleeping in my bed right now.

[I'm afraid of]: Snakes and heights and all amnner of deep-sea fishes.

[I dream about]: a jumbled mixture of the events of the last few days.


FAVORITES

[Colour]: Dark blue or green.

[Number]: In high school it was 21, but now I'm not sure.

[Clothing brand]: I don't really subscribe to one specific brand.

[Shoe brand]: the comfortable kind. See above.

[Sport to play]: I liked the one year I played of football.

[Drink (non alcoholic)]: Water

[Drink (alcoholic)]: Crown Royal with a strawberry chaser.

[Animal]: I'm a fan of all your basic mammals.

[Favorite line from a movie or song]: 1) Metric 2) Meryl Streep from "Adaptation"

"Poster of a Girl" (Song of the moment)

Can't stand by myself
Hate to sleep alone
Surprises always help
So I take somebody home
To find out how I feel
Feel like just a baby
Portrait of a lady
Poster of a girl

Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que je n'aime pas ma réalité
On ne peut pas fabriquer la vérité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité

Satisfy myself
Avoid beginners
Who long to shut my mouth
Till I take one of them home
'Cause I know how it feels
Filling in the blanks
Looking on the bright side
When there is no bright side
Coming in your pants
For the off chance
With a...
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl
poster of... a girl
poster of a girl
poster of a girl

Je deteste dormir sans une présence
Les surprises semblent alléger ma solitude
Alors je ramène quelqu'un dans mon lit
Afin de découvrir comment je me sens
Comme un bébé
Portrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille
Portrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille

Me satisfaire
Eviter les novices
Ceux qui cherchent à me faire taire
Jusqu'à ce que je rentre avec l'un d'eux
Car je connais la sensation
De chercher le fil d'or
Et de ne jamais le trouver
Coming in your pants
Qui ne pense qu'à coucher avec une
fille d'affiche
Affiche d'une fille
Une fille d'affiche
Potrait d'une femme
Affiche d'une fille

Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
On ne peut pas fabriquer la vérité
Je sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité
Tu sais que tu n'aimes pas ta réalité

Susan Orlean: [laughs] Well, I'm just tired. That's my problem.

WHO

[Gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: Certain people at work give me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

[Has a crush on you]: An old lady who wears ribbons in her hair.


DO YOU EVER <--- NOTE! This should read "HAVE YOU EVER"

[Wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: I have once or thrice.

[Fallen for your best friend]: Yeah, only too late.

[Been rejected]: Mmm hmmm.

[Rejected someone]: Yeah, but he got over it.

[Done something you regret]: Duh...

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

[You talked to on the phone]: Jenny.

[Hugged]: Jenny.

[You instant messaged]: I have no idea. Let's see who's online! (moments later) No one.

[You laughed like mad with]: Jenny.


DO YOU/ ARE YOU

[Smoke cigarettes]: Pah! NO!

[What's your favorite food]: Cereal.

[Fruit]: No, I do not do nor am I fruit. These catagories are poorly planned.

[Drink alcohol]: Yeah, but it doesn't work like I want it to.

[Like watching sunrises or sunset]: Sunsets I find are nicer. There are always a million brilliant colours. Watching the sunrise is like watching someone turn on a lightswitch, but really slowly.

[Know what hurts the most]: Is it a "hertz donut"?


NUMBER

[Of times you've have had your heart broken]: I don't know. Once?

[Of drugs you've taken illegally]: 1.

[Of CD's that you own]: Millions! (incidently Luke, if you're reading this, I'd be willing to help replenish your CD collection via burning any discs of mine you might want)

[Of scars on my body]: Two. One one my toe, and one on my brow (though the second one is all but faded.)

PICK ONE:

[1 or 2 pillows]: 2.

[Winter / Spring / Summer / Fall]: Fall.

[Gloves or mittens]: I feel like a goon when I wear mittens, but gloves are super cold. Pockets.

[Dressed or undressed]: Dressed in as little as possible.

[Bunk or water bed]: Bunk bed. I love playing "Fort!"

[Ocean or pool]: Pool. Oceanic creatures creep me out like no one's busy-ness.

[Love or lust]: I'm told that all you need is love.

IF YOU COULD

[Meet one famous person]: I would. And then I wouldn't know what to say. And they would leave. And then I'd know exactly what to say. And then I'd be having one of those regrets you hear so much about.

[Name one thing you love]: Reading.

[Name one thing you hate]: If I may paraphrase Gypsy the MST3K robot: "It's hard to hate. I keep forgetting."

[Name one thing that embarrasses you:]: Look in the address field of your browser.

[Do you like school]: Yeah. I'll miss it.

[Do you like to talk on the telephone]: Not really. I like to fill awkward silences with funny facial expressions.

[Do you sing in the shower]: Doesn't everybody?

[Do you think cheerleading is a sport]: No. More of a disorder.

[What's on your ceiling]: A fan, a lot of white paint, and four glow-in-the-dark stars.

[What are you listening to right now]: A fan, and the soft breathing of my two favourite people.

[What's the hardest thing about growing up]: Knowing that you never got to be a Toys-R-Us kid.

****************************
Nora Has an Idea And Then Follows Through With It






You can see the exact moment when she contemplates the licking.

*************************

Work is hard. People have been kind of jerky lately, but that could be the by product of me working many days in a row. I will be rich in about a week, but now it sucks. Here's something funny that happened tonight:

There's a bonus-type game you can play during the seven regular games called the "Twoonie Pot." At the beginning of each session a "Twoonie Pot Indicator" number is pulled (ie/ B15). So if you get a bingo on the number which follows the Indicator, you win the Twoonie Pot ($100 - $5000 and anywhere in between). People get nasty sometimes about it, like when you call the Indicator, put it back in the blower and then start the first regular game and the Indicator is the first number up (which means that no one can win it). That happened tonight and you know what I heard from the crowd?

Hissing.

That's right:


SNAKES IN A BINGO HALL!!!


"I am TIRED of these MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES in this MOTHERFUCKIN' BINGO HALL!"

I had a really hard time not shouting that over the microphone. In the end I didn't for two reasons:

1) I would have been fired for shouting "Motherfuckin'" not once but twice.

2) No one would have gotten it anyway.

Speaking of Bingo, I went to the Valley and actually played bingo for the first time the other night. I won $50! Technically I won $70, but I spent $20 in the first place, so unlike a lot of people I see on a daily basis, I'm not counting that. Now all I have to do is not give in to the temptaton that I could win again.

*********************

So after a lengthy absence, my CKLU radio show is back on the air! Thursdays from midnight to 2:30! I'm pretty sure that there isn't a single person listening to it, but it's still fun to do. Last Thursday was a Lollapalooza tribute, and this Thursday comin' up will be a blues centered show! I'm looking forward to it! Here's what you missed last Thursday:

eels - I'm Going to Stop Pretending that I Didn't Beak Your Heart
Stars - Death to Death
Iron & WIne - Evening on the Ground (Lilith's Song), The Trapeze Swinger
The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldier (acoustic), Crazy (Gnarls Barkley cover)
Death Cab for Cutie - What Sarah Said
Feist - When I Was a Young Girl
Sonic Youth - Sunday
Calexico/Iron & Wine - Sixteen, Maybe Less, In the Reins
Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism, Half Jack
Flaming Lips - The W.A.N.D.
The Shins - Kissing the Lipless
She Wants Revenge - These Things
Broken Social Scene - Ibi Dreams of Pavement (A Better Day), Anthems for a Seventeen-Year Old Girl

It feels like I'm missing some stuff in there, because the Lollapalooza stuff took up 2 hours of a 2 & 1/2 hour show. The rest was peckering about with Bob Dylan, Washboard Hank, and the Ditty Bops. Oh Yeah! And Dolly Parton! CKLU has a version of Dolly Parton singing "Stairway to Heaven!" That's the tits.

********************

So far there have been no calls about the kitten Jenny found. He's fitting in pretty well here, playing with Nora. Although there was an incident this evening. A cat / chameleon showdown. I was at work, but I'm told it was epic.

Anyway, we've semi-settled on a name. It's a little "inside," but in a way, aren't all pet names?

"B.i.c. Vader"

The B.i.c. part is pronounced like the pens and lighters and is short for "Bright Idea Cat" which comes from a sketch Jenny did for me of a cat with a lightbulb for a tail, and the Vader part comes from the fact that he's all black and it's funny to give such a tiny kitty Darth Vader's voice.

********************

In other news, I'm out of news.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What? New Pussycat?

I got home from work tonight and there was a note on the door. It read:

Hi Baby!

I rescued a cat tonight :) it's a black cat and he (I think it's a 'he') has no tail. He's downstairs.

(heart) you

(heart) Jenny


This little fella is ridiculously cute. No tail! He's like a little lynx! But the thing is that Jenny's not here, and I have no idea where this guy came from, what his story is, why he has no tail, etc. I'm not about to turn the little thing out, not at all! But I eagarly await the story of how this little kitty came into the house!


Hello Kitty! (Note the distinct lack of tail)


The other cat is Bambi, Stephie's cat who we're looking after. I can't tell if she's impressed or not. The new fella sure wants to play!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Summer doesn't officially end until Sept. 21...right?

  • The Hours - Michael Cunningham ---->DONE
  • Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Woolf ---->DONE
  • The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown ---->DONE
  • Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal - Christopher Moore ---->DONE
  • To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  • In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
  • The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
  • Alias Grace - Margaret Atwood
  • The Hard Goodbye - Frank Miller
  • The Facts Behind Helsinki Roccamatios - Yann Martel
  • Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett ---->DONE
  • The Wars - Timothy Findley ---->DONE
  • V For Vendetta - Alan Moore & David Lloyd ---->DONE
  • Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
  • Faust - Goethe
  • The World According to Garp - John Irving ---->DONE

    8 down! 8 to go! I've reached the half-way point!

  • Monday, August 14, 2006

    Jenny & Steph Get Clobbered by a Sweaty Soccer Player.




    Thursday, August 10, 2006

    The Big One v. 2.0

    The Crew:



    The Destination:



    What a weekend, what a weekend, what a weekend! Starting off at 7:30 when we went to pick up the rental van and found out that Jenny's licence had expired, and thus we were not allowed to rent the van at all! Luckily Stephie stepped up to the plate and all was well again. While Steph and I waited for the van, Jenny and Justin ran to get Jenny's licenece renewed so that she could drive as well.








    Restarting at about 9:30 we hit the road, putting us into the imaginary exit 224 rest stop to pick up Liz, who (poor soul) had been waiting about an hour and a half, playing "Is that them?" with her mom.



    Well, crew fully assembled just outside of Woodstock (prophetic?) we made our way to the border where we were promptly stopped for forty-five minutes. Did you know they don't let you go to the washroom until you've been fully inspected? Makes sense, what with all the flushable substances in the world, but it sure does make it hard for people who actually have to go to the bathroom. Added to that is the fact that it makes you look suspicious because you keep shifting from one foot to the other and looking over your shoulder. In the end they confiscated our grapes but let us pass.

    Renewed we made our way into the Untied States (That's how it's spelled, right?) greeted by torrential downpour.



    Luckily the rain was short lived (in fact except for a few drops before the Shins, it was the only rain we would see), and spirits remained high... as evidenced here:



    Continuing on through Detroit, the rest of Michighan, Indiana, and part of Illinois before we realized we were out of Michighan. There are no state signs! In either case we pulled into our motel, just south of O'Hare International Airport 17 hours after we left home. The decor was stunning.





    Sleep greeted us warmly and we partook until about 7:30 or so the next morning when the longest day of the festival would begin. We took a shuttle to the airport, and then boarded the train, which took us on our 45 minute journey to Downtown Chicago.











    Day One at Lollapalooza consisted of seeing part of or all of nine sets, and a whole heap of walking. The schedule:

    12 - 12:30: Midlake
    1 - 1:45: Husky Rescue (Who I orignally thought was called "Kill Husky", the opposite of Husky Rescue)
    1:30 - 2:30: Cursive
    2:30 - 3:30: eels
    3:30 - 4:30: Stars
    5:30 - 6:30: Iron & Wine
    6:30 - 7:30: The Raconteurs
    7:30 - 8:30: Sleater-Kinney
    8:30 - 10: Death Cab for Cutie

    Midlake was taken in while enjoying a nice lunch, and we just caught the end of Husky Rescue's set. Jenny had wanted to check out Cursive, but also wanted to be nice and close for eels, so we left early.



    For me, eels really kicked off the festival. They win the first award of this little ode, Best Showmanship. Despite the heat, frontman "E" wore a full flight suit, complete with beard and two sets of goggles, the guitarist was dressed like Fidel Castro, and the drummer (also sporting a beard) seemed like some combination of a construction worker and a skateboarder. But what cinched the award for eels is the addition of Krazy Al to the lineup.



    How I love and fear this man. Early on I began comparing this man to God. Now I know what you're going to say, but stick with me on this one. One look at the guy will tell you that he's terrifying. And the "Security" t-shirt coupled with the fact that he's standing in the middle of the stage makes you wonder what his purpose in the show is. He would randomly approach the microphone and say things.



    "My condolences."

    "I'm going to go and break one of my fingers. I'll be right back."

    "Your smile is the most important thing in the world to me."

    Inane babble? Or highly meaningful prophetic words? Think about it. My grandfather just died recently ("My condolences") and we left a few songs early to see Stars when he made the smile remark, thus indicating that it was alright if I left the eels show early. Krazy Al just wants me to be happy. Plus he did karate, meditated, and manically danced to the cover of Tom Waits' "Jesus Gonna Be Here."



    Congratualtions eels, winners of Best Showmanship at Lollapalooza 2006!

    Then across the field to the adidas-Champs stage to take in Canadian act Stars! It is safe to say that they looked absolutely nothing like I expected. Torquil Campbell is so petite you could just put him in your pocket! And Amy Millan seems to have dropped in right out of the 80's.



    Despite some sound issues, Stars put on a killer set. Muy passionato. When they were all done we decided to stick around and get a good place for Iron & Wine. Jenny and Steph guarded our place by firmly lying down. Jenny was so dedicated to the spot that she fell asleep right there.



    That's the way to do it Jenny! We looked about for Luke in the crowd, but it was foolish of us to think that we could pick him out by his big bushy beard. To stand out in this crowd you need to dress like a big banana or a hot dog, which two people did. We eventually did spot him off to our left, revelling in his man-crush, Sam Beam.



    Iron & Wine put on a dynamite show, focussing on electric numbers because "the quiet stuff just isn't going to compete," including a strangly funky calypso version of "Jezebel" and bookending the show with two solo acoustic numbers, "Naked as We Came," and "The Trapeze Swinger." Iron & Wine are the winners of two awards. The first for Best Stage Banter, which could have been seized with only this first exchange, but there were many more.

    Fanboy: Sam! You're a shining inspiration to us on a dark and cloudy night!

    Sam Beam: Thanks man, Thank you. This next song's about fuckin'.

    The other major remark came when the intro to "The Trapeze Swinger" was being played. Someone cheered loudly and enthusiastically. Sam stopped playing and said "Come on, man. They all start that way." If you're so inclined here is a site where you can download their set. The sound cuts out once or twice, but who cares? It's a great set. The second award is slightly more esoteric, but widely contested at this year's festival, what with all the beards in attendance. The award is "Band Who Could Most Easily Be Turned Into A Family of Singing, Mechanical Bears." See for yourself.









    Congratulations Iron & Wine! It was kind of charming the way you would sometimes forget the words.

    Now it was time for the long trek across the entire park to catch The Raconteurs.



    We got there about three songs into the set and heard the end of "Together," "5 on the 5," "Store Bought Bones," "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)," and "Broken Boy Soldier" before Liz and I had to leave to check out another event. The event, you ask that was so important that I had to leave The Raconteurs and miss them cover "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley? Behold!





    Liz and I met Sam Beam! I got a vinyl copy of the Woman King EP signed, and Liz got her Endless Numbered Days CD autographed.

    Our conversation:

    Me: Hi!

    SB: Hi, what's your name?

    Me: Andrew.

    SB: "Andrew."

    Me: That was a really great show.

    SB: Thanks. (He begins to sign the record. I fumble for something cool or interesting to say)

    Me: My friends and I came all the way from Canada for the show.

    SB: Really?

    Me: Yeah. It was a seventeen hour drive.

    SB: Ooo... Y'know, there are shows in Canada too.

    Me: Yeah? You're coming to Sudbury.

    SB: Maybe.

    (We pose for a picture.)

    He was surprising congenial for someone who'd been sitting there for about an hour signing things for gushing fans. All of this meant that we did miss most of Sleater-Kinney's set, pausing only for one song as we made our way to Death Cab for Cutie. A shame really, as I'll never get a chance to see them again, but when would I ever meet Sam Beam again? Well, screw it. You can't focus on the negative.

    Death Cab's set was a lot of fun, but getting to see it was a bit of a challange. Liz and I piggy-backed on whoever was bold enough to shove through the crowd. We eventually planted ourselves in front of two snarky girls who spent most of the show on their cell phones. When we decided we could go no further ino the crowd and stopped, they asked "Were you actually going anywhere? Because there's no room for you here." Ouch... Well, screw them, we stayed put, but as a small consolation I took off my hat. As predicted though, many of the pictures from this set were blurry and crappy, due to the distance, the dark, and the dancing.





    Like I said, Death Cab's set was a lot of fun, drawing mostly on Plans and Transatlanticism which was fine by me, as those are the only two albums I own. What I found really interesting about this show was it made me pay more attention to the lyrics in the songs. For example, "What Sarah Said" had always been missing a link for me. Between the lines "Love is watching someone die" and "So who's going to watch you die." Seems simple when it's right out there now, but to be fair, there is a big musical bridge there. Anyway, Stars came out for the last song, which was cool beans.



    And on the way out I snapped the following picture, which I think is my favourite from the festival.



    And that was the end of Day One! We made our way back to the motel via an incredibly crowded train, in which Justin pointed out a young man doing a line of coke off of his bus pass. Good times.

    *********************************************

    Saturday began a little later, as we were all exhuasted from the day before. My legs and lower back had cramped up during Death Cab's set due to the inability to lean on anything or shift weight without several people obscuring your vision. So we slept for an extra hour, then Jenny battled her killer hair with the help of ice cool Clyde Forgotten, we got dolled up and made our way to the adidas-Champs stage where we would spend the majority of the day. We were determined to be in the front row for the Dresden Dolls.





    Feist started the day in the 1:30 slot, and we were probably five or six people back. Feist is one hell of a guitar player, and she had an extra microphone with which she used to loop her voice in harmonies and sang over top of that.



    Feist gets the award for Best Audience Interaction, consistantly getting the crowd to play along with her and the band. Example:

    Feist: Ooooooooooo. (Signals to crowd)

    Crowd: Ooooooooooo.

    Feist: Eeeeeeeeeee. (Signals to crowd)

    Crowd: Eeeeeeeeeee.

    Feist: Aaaaaaalollapaloozaaaaaa.

    Crowd: (racks of laughter)



    More than likely the audio/video will be screwy on this, but take my word for it.



    So then Jenny & Justin went to catch part of Coheed & Cambria's set, which I'm told was swell and hairy. Steph went for merch, and Liz and I tackled the front row and held our ground. Being the professional artist that I am, I gave Liz a tattoo.



    Check out her look which proudly proclaims "I don't give a blank."

    Jenny, Justin & Steph all found us again by the time Calexico took the stage with their cool South-Western style rock.







    And the entire show was interpreted in dance form by this guy on the side of the stage.



    Apparently his name is "Beatle Bob" and he's some sort of local celebrity. Either way he looked like he was having a great time, spinning, kicking, air-keyboarding. Unfortunately the set had to be cut short due to a malfunctioning amp, but I got their setlist! Woot! I guess they were only going to play one other song anyways.

    So now the five of us, crammed into the space that Liz & I had grabbed two hours ago settled in for the Dresden Dolls. There were lots of little emo kids who seemed pissed off that we weren't planning on letting them get in front. A guy a few rows back motioned to me that I should strangle one of them. No joke. I thought about it. The Dolls came out for their sound check, and it looked like this:





    Amanda doffed the striped shirt and Brian donned the white make-up when they made their appearance proper for the 5:30 - 6:30 set following Sonic Youth across the field.



    Energetic doesn't begin to describe their set. Amanda looked like her head was going to pop off of her neck, and Brian looked like he was enjoying killing his drums.









    After two songs (and with the press safely departed), Amanda announced that her dress, while cool looking was in fact scorching her alive. Her solution? To change right on stage, which netted her the Most Surprising Moment Award of the festival.





    But didn't she realize that hundreds of people just saw her topless? Jenny's response (which makes a lot of sense): "I don't think she cares." The set continued with a cover of "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath. Brian tossed drumsticks into the crowd by bouncing them off his cymbals, and I caught one!









    They capped the set with a cover of the Louvin Brother's "Satan is Real," in which they accused the Flaming Lips of being the living incarnation of Satan's will on earth. Later I met the girl who sung back-up for one song, and got her card! Her name is Anna.



    My name is still Andrew.

    The Flaming lips put on a psychadelic show, employing dancing alien girls and Santas, a giant ball encasing Wayne Coyne, and lots of fun, quirky music. I sat near the back and took a lot of it in. Seeing a plane fly overhead, I took this shot.



    Theivery Corporation and Manu Chao rounded out the night for Liz and I as Steph, Jenny & Justin headed over to see Kanye West. Then we all met up and headed back to the motel once again. Liz met a German guy and the rest of us fell asleep.



    **************************************



    Day Three had us doing some sightseeing before heading to Grant Park. On the way downtown on the train we made a dollar singing Disney songs. A thug and his gangsta friend requested "A Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid. It was awesome.

    Jenny suggested taking in the aquarium, and (double bonus) they were holding a reptile exhibit there as well, so we got to see all sorts of interesting critters.















    That last one is actually James Mercer of the Shins! After the aquarium we went to the park in time for Liz and I to get four rows from the front for the Shins' set. A mass of sweaty people all crushed together like sardines was actually a little bit more fun than it sounded at first. Everyone was in good spirits, and some rowdies behind us were singing acapella Bjork songs. The Shins were good natured and fun, playing hacky-sack with a beach ball that was tossed on stage, and then admitting that they were terrible at hacky-sack when the ball got away from them after only a few seconds.



    The Shins are the recipients of the "Kinda Saw It Coming But It Was Still Really Awesome" award for playing new music. It has been a few years since their last album, so they were bound to have some new stuff to try out, and it was all really solid stuff.

    Jenny, Steph & Justin left early to get good a good place for She Wants Revenge, and I wanted to join them, but I also didn't want to die from not having eaten all day, so I listened from off to the side as I ate some overpriced chicken and rice. As people dispersed after She Wants Revenge (who sounded cool, and apparently were extremely cool to watch) the five of us gathered up to see Broken Social Scene and cap off our weekend in indie-rock style.

    The set was so good.







    The sound of the band was hot. Blistering, white heat with a guitar that could burn your eyes out, and did. But we had to regenerate our eyes quickly, because bandleader Kevin Drew announced "We've got the whole band here. The entire band." Know what that means?! Sixteen members of Broken Social Scene, including (much to the delight of Justin) Emily Haines of Metric!!! They came out and played "Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl" featuring Emily Haines, Amy Millan, and Leslie Feist on vocals. It was the one song that I wanted to hear them play but had slotted it in the They'll never play this" file.







    What an end to the weekend. Shouting along with the band because they were so loud you knew no one could hear you, and also that no one else cared. They were all shouting too. "Most Memorable Performance" by far.

    Oh yeah, and there were some guys called the "Red Hot Peppers" or the "Chilli Hotters" or something, I wasn't really paying attention. We left early, exhausted and slept until about 9.



    Leaving the hotel at 10 we embarked on our fifteen hour journey back north. We didn't get stopped at the border (probably because Stephie was driving and she's got an trusting face).

    And that was Lollapalooza 2006. And this is some stuff I brought back.



    The End.