Roadblock

–noun 1. an obstruction placed across a road, esp. of barricades or police cars, for halting or hindering traffic, as to facilitate the capture of a pursued car or inspection for safety violations.
2. an obstruction on a road, as a fallen tree or a pile of fallen rocks.
3. a hastily built barricade, as of barbed wire, erected across a road to hold up the advance of an enemy.
4. an action, condition, etc., that obstructs progress toward an objective

When I return to Canada from Paris, one option that I was seriously considering was auditioning for the Conservatory at Stratford. With nothing to lose, I figured, "Why Not?"

Problems now include:

I do not have a "multi-year degree specializing in theatre." I have all of the required courses, minus one I think, to qualify, but since I signed up for an English degree I doubt Laurentian will just give me a theatre degree as well if I sign up for that last course.

I do not have "at least 2 years of professional acting experience."

This is not to say that I won't eventually apply. It just kind of sucks that it probably would mean another four years of school, two years of "trying to make it" and several thousand more dollars in debt. I would be 31 before I could apply.

Ahh, life! You throw such curvy curveballs.

I miss my friends.

Magic iPod

I love this quiz, as evidenced by the dozen or so times it have bee posted here. A new version!

How does the world see me?
Song: Untitled 5
Artist: Sigur Ros
Comments: Slow, like an iceberg, majestic like a glacier, anonymous.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Stomach Song
Artist: Broken Social Scene
Comments: Elusive. I think this means I will be confused with lots of voices in teh background.

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Mr Tambourine Man.
Artist: Bob Dylan
Comments: I am here to entertain people when they cannot sleep

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Savannah Mama
Artist: Blind Willie McTell
Comments: I think this counts as the iPod pretending it didn't hear the question and changing the subject. A not unexpected response to this question.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Eyesight to the Blind
Artist: The Who
Comments: Perform miracles?

What should I do with my life?
Song: You Went Away
Artist: Tegan & Sara
Comments: Either flee, or blame others for fleeing. aka Advice columnist!

Why is life full of so much pain?
Song: Night on the Sun
Artist: Modest Mouse
Comments: Because the sun is doomed to burn out and people can't stop thinking about that. Alternatively, people work too much.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: It Ain't Me Babe
Artist: Bob Dylan
Comments: I'm not sure about this one. I think it means I should either focus on my partner or just ignore their needs.

Will I ever have children?
Song: Don't think twice, it's alright
Artist: Emily Haines & James Shaw
Comments: Bring em on!

Will I die happy?
Song: Ocean
Artist: The Velvet Underground
Comments: I cannot tell.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Cause = Time.
Artist: Broken Social Scene
Comments: If you want to do something worthwhile you have to spend a lot of time on it.

What is happiness?
Song: Magnetic Strip
Artist: Controller Controller
Comments: Duh. Like that wasn't obvious already.

What is my favourite fetish?
Song: Silver Dagger
Artist: Bob Dylan & Joan Baez
Comments: Knives? Jesus...

How will I be remembered?
Song: Book of Moses
Artist: Tom Waits
Comments: As a Biblical figure. Yesssssss...

I will probably re-do ths on Facebook just to continue the fun. There needs to be more questions.

Oscar the Grouch

I need to watch a lot of movies. A LOT of movies.

Oscar nominations are out officially. I've got about 33 days to consume some 14 films. I feel like I'm cramming for a test.

Italicized entries are movies I have yet to see. Bold is who I think should win (note: This will change as i hopefully see the rest of the movies on the list).

Supporting Actress: 4/5

Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There

Ruby Dee - American Gangster

Saoirse Ronan - Atonement

Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone

Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

Supporting Actor 3/5

Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James...

Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men

Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War

Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild

Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

Actress 2/5

Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth 2: Electric Boogaloo

Julie Christie - Away From Her

Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose

Laura Linney - The Savages

Ellen Page - Juno

Actor 4/5

George Clooney - Michael Clayton

Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd

Tommy Lee Jones - In The Valley of Elah

Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

Original Screenplay 3/5

Juno

Lars & the Real Girl

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

The Savages

Adapted Screenplay 2/5

Atonement

Away From Her

The Diving Bell & the Butterfly

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

Director 4/5

Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood

The Coen Brothers - No Country For Old Men

Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton

Jason Reitman - Juno

Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell & the Butterfly

Best Picture 5/5

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

No Country For Old Men

There Will Be Blood

This of course means that I need to see the following movies:

I'm Not There

American Gangster

Atonement

Gone Baby Gone

No Country For Old Men

Charlie Wilson's War

Into The Wild

Away From Her

La Vie en Rose

The Savages

Sweeney Todd

In the Valley of Elah

Lars & the Real Girl

The Diving Bell & the Butterfly

Shit. 14 films. Sweeney Todd and No Country open tomorrow here. Gone Baby Gone, Atonement, and Into the Wild are already playing. Unfortunately, The Diving Bell & the Butterfly will only be shown in French, so I'm out of luck there.

I'd better get to work.

Copper & Schnapps

I went to see Iron & Wine tonight at a club called:


in Paris, France. It was a really cool venue, with this kind of thing on the wall:



Guess who else has played here!



This girl opened:



She doesn't really have 2 faces. She was very good! And then Sam Beam came out and tuned up his guitars.



He also waved hello to Jenny! We were very close to the front



Then the band came out and played! These are the songs they played:



(Yep, I stole that label from Sam Beam's amp. Jenny ripped it off for me.) If you can't read it, here it is:

Trapeze Swinger

Love Song of the Buzzard

On Your Wings

Peace Beneath the City

Innocent Bones

House by the Sea

The Devil Never Sleeps

White Tooth Man

Weary Memory

Upward Over the Mountain

Carousel

Cinder & Smoke

Boy With a Coin

Sodom, South Georgia

Wolves (Song of the Shepherd's Dog)

Flightless Bird, American Mouth
**ENCORE**

Resurrection Fern

Here are some pictures and a video from the show!









Then after the show, the band members came out and we got to say "Hello!"




My conversation with Sam Beam was less awkward than at Lollapalooza! Here is the gist of it:

Andrew Root: Hi, I'm Andrew. Great show tonight.

Sam Beam: Andrew, thanks man. Are you guys American?

AR: We're Canadian.

SB: Oh, ok. Cool. What are you doing here?

Jenny Hazelton: I'm going to school.

SB: Really? For how long?

JH: A year, maybe two if I get back in.

SB: Cool, good luck with that.

AR: I actually met you at Lollapalooza a few summers back.

JH: (laughing) Do you remember him?

SB: I'm sorry, I don't. I wish I did.

AR: I was the awkward guy with nothing to say.

SB: Heh heh, oh right.

AR: Well, great show tonight!

SB: Thank you, thanks for coming out.

JH: Where are you going next?

SB: Hamburg. We'll be in Hamburg tomorrow.

JH: Well, have a hamburger for us.

SB: (laughing) Ok, I will! Thanks again for coming out.

I also got to speak with Sarah Beam which was pretty nice. She is fairly soft spoken, and she said it sounds like I have a nice life, which was very decent of her.

And that's how I saw Iron & Wine tonight!

Juno what I'm talking about? I should get an award.

This is far from extensive. For extensive coverage, stay tuned to Channel Angelo.

The major film awards are all a-coming out in the next little while, whether they be in the form of a 1/2 hour list reading, or the lavish four hours of gala in a two-hour timeslot.

I can't help but feel as though I missed out this year. Most of the films in contention for any sort of award are not coming out here for another few weeks and anything in the foreign language category is out of consideration for yours truly, as the theatres seem to have a predisposition to show subtitles in their country's native language, instead of the more acceptable "whatever-language-Andrew-speaks." Also, movies are damned expensive to go to here. They ain't exactly cheap anywhere, but 9 euros is asking a bit much I think.

Of the ten titles nominated for best screenplay by the WGA, I have seen 2, Juno & Knocked Up, and EVERYBODY saw Knocked Up. I agree with Angelo that Juno's brash slang and awkward first five minutes of dialogue are grating and hyper-realistic (who says "Silencio" when they want someone to "shut the fuck up, Dwight"?), though I wonder if those five minutes will cost the film anything? Yes, the rest of the film is very well written, but those first five minutes are pretty out there. However, I thought that the glaring errors in continuity of editing was going to cost The Departed the well deserved Best Picture last year, so what do I know?

Also, well done to Michael Cera for his work here. He seems to be the go-to guy for mealy mouthed semi-awkward teenagers, but there is a level of vulnerability to Paulie Bleeker that I haven't seen before. His scene with Juno where he says "You would be the meanest wife ever" he is more a child than ever, yet towards the end when he feels the baby kicking he looks like he could be a genuine father.

On a "out-of-left-field" note, did anyone else notice the strange reoccurrence of paedophilia in this movie? The cheerleader who loves teachers, the strange closeness of Juno and Mark (though I would argue that it is more Mark's character grasping at any straw that isn't his wife he clearly latches onto the wrong girl). I like that I didn't know quite how to feel about Mark and Juno's relationship. In fact that's one of the main things I liked about this movie, is that there isn't only one way to think about any one character or their relationship to any other. In the aforementioned scene where Juno and Bleeker are fighting, Juno seems to be over-reacting to Bleeker's prom date (the very date Juno herself pushed him towards), until she makes the very good point that he "doesn't have to have to have the evidence [that they slept together] under [his] sweater." That would be Juno's major character flaw, being that she thinks that because she is experiencing hardship it negates all other hardships. For another example, see the scene in which she argues with Bren about whether or not she can be friends with a married man. Juno tends to miss the point because of her selfishness (who can blame her? It's hard not to be self-centered when you're a sixteen year old pregnant girl), but at least they don't reduce these flaws to hormonal surges (thus trivializing them), as in Knocked Up. She was pretty self-obsessed to begin with, which might explain the jargon/banter. She doesn't care that no one might be able to understand her. Why the convenience store clerk is motivated to rhyme all the time (ha!) remains a mystery.

In the end, I am a big fan of this movie, but I highly doubt it has a crack at anything other than Best Original Screenplay. I wish that weren't true, but the Academy never gives the best picture to the token comedy. Sideways, Little Miss Sunshine, Adaptation (which wasn't even nominated, shamefully). The ideas and the wit is rewarded, but the execution is generally left by the wayside.

I need to watch more movies. Yet simultaneously, I need to get more fresh air. I should pull a "The Prestige" and double my efficiency. Maybe then I can nail Scarlett Johansson as well.

Guidance Counsellor

I feel a bit like Kip sometimes.



I just used various forms of glorious technology to have my first ever webcam chat with my Paw. Life is grand, ain't it?

***************************

Anyway, not unlike the late James Brown, I feel good (buh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh)! So in that spirit I'm going to decide everyone's future for them. You are all getting jobs, my friends, and I am going to give them to you, doling out careers like your uncle doles out scotch mints when you go to visit him as a child. Though I do not smell like Brut cologne (a smell I will forever associate with my Uncle Tom).

So here we go!

Angelo: Philosopher King. Not to put too much pressure on you, but if there's anyone who I would trust to guide our troubled people in this troubled time, it's you. And if you don't want the job, various sources say that that only makes you a stronger candidate.

Sam Burns: World-Famous photographer. I can picture you wearing a head-scarf and documenting famous events, peoples, and locales. You will be more influential than Annie Liebowitz.

Liz: Pundit. Like Colbert, only more straightforward. None of this "acting ridiculous to prove a point." You'll just smack sense into people. Sometimes literally, sometimes with a well-placed witticism.

Jenny: Entertainer. Working in a similar capacity to Angelo, you shall be our centre when we spin away. Also, SPECTACLE!

Kayla: DJ. I'm trusting that you'll be able to overthrow the torrent of horrible morning radio shows and awful contests, etc. to actually get some decent music and hilarious content on the air. If it's anything like the times we hosted Luke's show for him, I want in.

Nessa: Random hilarity generator. This is a real job, I swear. You just seem to have really good ideas, be it in the form of a sexy Christmas photoshoot, new and exciting hair colours, or chronicling an entire day in Willisville.

Luke: Travelling Folk Singer. You will be like a cross between Bob Dylan and a people version of The Littlest Hobo, travelling from place to place, helping people, singing songs, getting into all kinds of wacky mischief!

Erica: Sexy Librarian/Secret Weapons Designer. The explanation is clear, really.

Natalie "Natty-Pants" Longarini: You will shape the young ones into a group of fully functioning group of intelligent adults, capable of doing things like being kind to one another, and having a sense of humour.

Steph: Olympic Biathalon Gold Medalist/Real life alpine assassin. Honestly, this is just an amazing idea. For so many reasons.

Jay: Reporter/B Movie Actor. Or both, really! Either way, you'll sweep the dames off their feet!

***********************************

I know I'm forgeting people but I just completely blanked. Crap! I know there are more people.... Just give me some time and I'll get 'em!

Hope you like your new jobs, everyone! You can thank me for taking the pressure off anytime.

Take THAT Apple!

YESSSSSSS! Yes, David Lynch! Yes!

I miss this movie.

Wish I'd thought to bring it with me.

It's a New Year!

1) Where did you begin 2007?
In Falcon Bridge at Luke D. Norton's

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
In a relationship that mutually didn't see the point of only celebrating love on one day of the year.

4) How did you earn your money?
Reception work

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
Don't think so

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
I got pulled over a number of times for speeding.

7) Where did you go on vacations?
Does Paris count as an extened vacation? Paris!

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000.
Rien

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
My Brother!

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes I do, unfortunately.

12) Did you move anywhere?
To gay Paris!

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
You Say Party! We Say Die! and I think that's it... There must have been more

15) Are you registered to vote?
No.

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
Winston Smith.

17) Where do you live now?
64 Blvd Magenta, Paris France, 75010 (send mail!)

18) Describe your birthday?
I worked, and then spent the evening alone :(

19) What's one thing you thought you wouldn't do but did in 2007?
Spend Xmas Eve at Notre Dame

20) What has been your favorite moment?
Jumping out of a claset in what would be considered to be "drag" and shouting "NO!"

21) What's something you learned about yourself?
I know more about what I want.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
My new Niece, Jilli Rosebud.

23.) What was your best month?
??? July?

24.) What music will you remember 2007 by?
Regina Spektor

26.) Made new friends?
I feel like I strengthened aquaintenceships.

27) Best "new friend"?
It's a tie between Kayla & Sam. I love those kids! Why did we not hang out more before I left town?

28) Best new hotspot?
I don't really go to "hotspots."

29) Best movie you saw this year?
I'll go with SuperBad. It's the only one that's popping into my mind.

30) Favorite gift of the year?
I got a belt pretty recently.

31) Favorite Night out?
My going away party was a lot of fun