Because Kayla told me to.

Apparently I am a very unsuccessful comment whore. I'm like the Elgin St. of comments. Whatever the case, here are the answers to the questions posed in the two paltry comments that appeared. Liz and Kayla, please make your way to the good books. You'll find a place sectioned off for you.

Liz's "Six things you wonder about me"

1. I wonder what you're up to. I'm just hanging out. I ate a sandwich and some soup when I got off of work. They were quite good.
2. I wonder if you found something to fill that 18 minutes of time on your radioshow with. Yes. And it is glorious. But I want it to be a surprise for all those who plan on listening. Then I will tell you what it is.
3. I wonder what the first White Stripes song was that you listened to (or remembered really liking)
"Fell in Love With a Girl." I remember being struck by the vocals and the drumming in particular. I was not accustomed to so much crash cymbal in a song before.
4. I wonder if a movie ever frightened you as a kid. "The Land Before Time" kept me up at night.
5. I wonder if you appreciate your good qualities enough. I have a theory that you don't. Your theory is correct. If I took time to appreciate my good qualities I wouldn't be working on my bad ones.
6. I wonder what it would be like if we had gone to the same high school, or known each other for a long time. "I want you." "You want me to what?"

Liz's "One question for me"
1. What did you think of "To Kill A Mocking Bird"? I keep forgetting to ask you.

I enjoyed it most hearitly. Possibly more than the aforementioned soup. I feel like I learned more about writing from a detailed reading of this book than from many courses I took at LU.

Kayla's "Six things you wonder about me"

1. What your life was like before you came to Laurentian? Kind of aimless actually. Who knew that you had to go to university to focus your plans?
2. What was the first album you ever purchased? You're going to love this: "Navy Blues" by Sloan.
3. How did you get into acting? My mom was in a lot of play with a local group in Peterborough, and I would be in the chorus of them sometimes, or as "Boy #3" who gets the "Golly! That's swell!" line.
4. How you and Jenny met? I was the assistant stage manager for a play in 1st year, and I showed up for the first rehearsal 1/2 an hour late (I was told the wrong time) and Jenny was the stage manager. I walked into the middle of someone's monologue. Needless to say, I stood out. After the rehearsal I hung out with Jenny while she waited for a ride, and I developed a grade-school crush on her.
5. How did YOU meet Luke? Erica asked me to be in her Directing class Pyramus and Thisbe, and Luke was in it as well.
6. If you would make out with Jack White if he asked you to? I wouldn't even think twice. And seeing as he's so big on the number 3, perhaps Meg would join us.

Kayla's "One question for me."

1. What is one thing you've done that you feel incredibly guilty about?

I unknowingly made a joke about a brain tumour in front of a girl who's father had died three months previous of a brain tumour. In fact the joke was about the girl having a brain tumour. I don't make jokes like that any more.

-------------------------------

Also, I graduated! Effing LU damn near screwed me out of a place in the ceremony though. I was originally slated to be in the spring 2006 convocation, but I had to go to a wedding. So I called them up and had them switch me over to the fall 2006 ceremony instead. On the phone everything was hunky dory. I should have known better than to be so trusting.

So fast forward to a few months later, October 24th. Stephie's gotten her letter telling her where to go and what to do on Ceremony day (Oct. 28th). Ditto Jay, who's had more trouble than anyone getting to this point, administratively speaking. Andrew doesn't have a letter, so he calls up the registrar's office, who promptly tells him that they never recieved he application for graduation. He explains the situation with the wedding, and they tell him they will call him back. An abrupt woman phones back a few minutes later and Andrew explains the situation again. She informs our hero that his original application for graduation (filled out in May) was more than likely thrown out, and that he should have filled out a new one this time around. Andrew explains that this was never presented as the proper situation to him. Abrupt woman then tries her darndest to convince Andrew to simply graduate next June, because "This really won't affect you in any way." Andrew bites back the crushing urge to affect this woman into a coma and tells her that he has family coming from a long distance away and it would be most inconvenient for them to reschedule. She says to come in a fill out a form and then promptly hangs up. A snippet from the conversation:

A: What do I have to do to get into the ceremony on Saturday?

B: Come in a fill out a form.

A: [not taking any chances this time] And that will get me in the ceremony on Saturday?

B: Probably.

A: 'Probably' is not quite good enough.

B: *huff.*

Bottom line, I got to be in the ceremony and receive the diploma, though my name was left out of the program, leaving me to panic until the last moment that I would be next in line to go on stage and my name would not be read, or that the diploma would be on the back of a cocktail napkin. As such, it was read and I got to have a suitably awkward conversation with Judith Woodsworth (whoever she is). Am I wrong to wonder why I'm supposed to be honoured to receive my degree from this woman who I have had no contact with throughout my university career and have no connection with? I'd much prefer to get it from a prof, but knowing my luck I'd be stuck in a photo op with Tom Gerry.

My family was good enough to make an enormous racket as I crossed the stage, which brings to mind this story from my brother's graduation:

[Ian walks onto the stage to receive his diploma. Louds cheers of approval from family.]

Chancellor of Guelph University: It sounds like you've got a lot of support out there.

Ian: I sure do.

Chancellor of Guelph University: Don't let them down.

Contrasting with my own graduation:

[Andrew walks onto the stage to receive his diploma. Louds cheers of approval from family.]

Judith Woodsworth: So tell me about the cheering section.

Me: Those are my parents, my girlfriend, and a couple of my friends.

J.W.: Oh. [pause] That's very nice.

Sort of lacking in the wisdom category, dontcha think? However, the Chancellor of Guelph also told my mother that her shirt was nearly transparent, so... who knows?

Here are a couple of pictures of me with the people who matter most:

Because I'm a "Comment" whore.

Six things you wonder about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Five Things you like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.


Four things you would do to me if we were alone
1.
2
3.
4.

Three of my best features
1.
2.
3.


Two words that describe me
1.
2.

One question for me (ask away, i will answer honestly)
1.

Better than "Dracula"

B.I.C. Update!

A few months ago, Jenny & I took in a stray cat and named him B.I.C. (Bright Idea Cat) Vader. Tomorrow, Bic goes to his new home. Our friend Carla took an instant shine to the little guy and offered to give him a good permanent home so we consented, as she has a good history with pets and also because she was the most forceful about wanting him.

He's hell on my allergies, breaks things on whims, knocks stuff over for no reason, and gets into everywhere you try to keep him out of, but I'll miss the little rascal! There will be a tiny destructive, and mildly smelly hole with no tail in the Root-Hazelton household. I hope Carla doesn't mind constant emails demanding updates.

It's a classic. That's why it's in black and white.

#400

Bonjour!

This is my 400th post! A little applause, thank you!

Sleepwalking is now on the Interweb! I decided to set up a website so those of you who can't stay awake long enough to hear the show can get an idea of what it was like. It's all on there, so enjoy!
Here's the link (It's also been updated in the Links section to your right):

http://sleepwalkingradio.blogspot.com

The new plan to get Bush out of office, and other things as well.

In response to the many wonderings about how I handled the guy who wanted a ride home, I ignored my problem and it went away. In essence, I just waited so long to reply that he bought a bus ticket. Then I didn't reply. Two birds, one not stone.

In other news: A New York Yankee flew a plane into an apartment building. I asked someone at work if they'd heard about that and he asked what the punch line was. It seems too surreal to be true, but at least thay can't possibly spin this into a "Terrorists hate our freedom" thing. I'd love to see the White House accuse a NY Yankee of terrorism. Bush'd be out of office by Friday. My insensitive theory is that they finally tracked down the last NY Mets fan in the city and took him out. (hold for applause) But seriously, it's a real tragedy.

So this weekend was nice. Ptbo with the whole fam-damily, including Ms. Evelyn Collins, my mother's 88-year old mother, a firecracker who spent an evening making penis jokes with the family. She's a doll, that one. Also got to reconnect with many people from the old stomping grounds, including Evan, Nick, Alison, and Rachel (who I haven't seen in about 3 years. I was really worried about things being awkward, but it was really really cool, so Bonus! Woot!). And I saw The Departed, which I thought, based on the trailer, was really going to suck. I can admit when I was wrong, and I was famously wrong about that one. Muy excellante.

I've finished a short story. I don't know if it's any good or anything, but it's finished and that's what's important. On a whim I'm going to enter it in a competition through CBC radio. Previous winners include writers in residence at major universities, as well as former Governor General's Award winners, but what have I got to lose? Twenty dollars entry fee and the price of postage. The winners are announced in February.

I also have to do the radio show tomorrow night. I have nothing planned and no ideas. Anyone got a theme?

AAAAAAANNNNNNDD....

This just might make you love the Dresden Dolls more than you thought possible.



Man, can that girl rock a pirate hat.

Hmm... Awk-vard.

I've been presented with a sticky situation. I can Do The Right Thing and help someone out, but that would subject yours truly to hours of awkwardness. My father recieved this email and forwarded it to me:

Good Moring Bob,

i was wodering if Andrew would be traveling home this weekend for
thanksgiving and if so would he be doing it by car or bus. i am
windering this because i am trying to fined my way home.

if he is could oyu get him to e-mail (xxxxx@laurentian.ca) or call me
xxx-xxxx. there would be money for gas and anything else that he may
need.

Casey

The last time I saw/thought about this guy was probably when I was 14 and he was the most irritating person I'd ever met. I didn't know he went to Laurentian. I didn't know he still existed. I would not relish the idea of spending five hours in the car with him.

I know it's petty too, but LOOK AT ALL THOSE SPELLING MISTAKES! Where is the capitalization? Grammer, anyone? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PROOFREADING?! Has my degree made me so much of a snob that I don't want to associate with people who can't type properly? Or am I now a fogey who sits on the porch and says "In MY day we took pride in our spelling!" It's weird, but all those things sort of epitomize how I felt about him back then, like they are the natural progression of what he would become, personality-wise.

Sigh. I'm glad he doesn't have anyway to contact me and that my dad just forwarded the email on instead of giving this guy my phone # and email. But since my dad knows about it I feel a nagging urge to Do The Right Thing. Added to this is the fact that if I did give him a ride home I might run into the problem of him wanting to hang out on a regular basis, which I don't want if he's even half as irritating as he was.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Although that offer of money for whatever I need could be tempting...

"Are you sure you need a satellite dish for your dog?"

"She likes the news! If you're not grateful for the ride, then I can let you out here."

"Sigh. Bell or Rogers?"

Radio War

Luke got his radio show back! I'm happy because "This Week in Braille" is a hilarious foray into the semi-consciousness of El Presidente and Thane of Scotland. But at the same time I can't help feeling like he's invading my territory (Ignoring the fact that I got my show based on how fun his show was). You see, a few weeks ago, being the only one (at the time) who had a CKLU show in the midnight to 2:30 timeslot, I declared myself the King of Late Night Radio. You know this if any of you listened. Shame, shame on all you fictional characters! But now looky looky who's strolling into the Friday Midnight slot: none other than Warm Foot Luke. A challange as clear as a polar bear with a machine gun in my refrigerator! So I hereby challange Mr Norton right back! I call a "Show-off!" I am going to attempt to TOP Luke's SHOW from yesterday, and then he must try to TOP mine! This will continue until our two timeslots are blinding shimmers of white hot excellence (moreso than they already are). Then we'll get our own sitcom based on the results. Now I know what you're going to say: "Luke didn't mean anything by getting his show back! In fact he had his WAY before you!" Well to you I say "Life is interpretation! (or was that literature? I can never remember)" See you on the airwaves, Norton!

Earlier today The Dread Flu scrambled off the roof of Jak's Diner and leapt onto Jenny's head, dragging her down. In short, Jenny's got the sniffles, poor dear. DOes anyone know a good witch doctor?

These are funny and channel a new dream for yours truly: Improv games with Jack White! Highlights include Arthur Dottweiller instructing Jack on how to shave, combing Jack's hair, and duct-taping a drumstick to Meg's hand. Also Jack's freak-out line, "I didn't ask you to tell me how to pack my clothes!"

Part 1



Part 2



Part 3

I am nearing completion of preperatory stages of the Lollapalooza Photo Project, which I have been thinking about since we got back from the festival. In other words, I'm almost started. It will be a glorious retrospective.

Finally, I have decided that the next album I will purchase (though not anytime soon) will be the eponymous album by the Ditty Bops (who, I just learned are a couple! Which is even cooler!). Perhaps I will find one I can teef at the record show tomorrow (10 - 4, HoJo, See You There?)